It was messy and abstract. Something I worked on fast when I was drunk and alone. Sitting and standing for twenty hours straight to bring it to life the way I wanted.
“What do you see, Toby?” I asked as we were just inches from the picture.
“Flower,” he said again.
I laughed. “That’s right. Okay. Just a flower. What color?”
Toby looked at me.
“Can you say red?” I asked him.
“Red!” he yelled.
“Great job,” I said.
I turned and was face to face with a woman.
She looked really familiar. Her hair. Her eyes. They stuck out to me.
I’d seen her before.
My mind did the whole did I sleep with her thing, which was honestly old and useless.
She just stared at me.
“Red flower,” Toby announced and turned his head to look at the picture.
When he did, he slammed his head into my head.
It hurt me which meant it really hurt him.
“Ah, damn,” I said and touched his head.
But it was too late.
Toby let out a long wail and clung to my shirt even tighter.
I hurried away along the back of the gallery, trying to avoid more of the crowd.
“I got you, little man,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”
He cried his heart out as I raced to the back.
That’s where Rae and Aaron were both leaning against a table, shoulder to shoulder, each with a glass of champagne, looking at each other with lust-filled eyes. They looked ready to find a bathroom to have a little fun.
And there I was with Toby as he cried.
Rae put her glass down and went into Mom mode.
“What happened? What did you do, Josh?” she yelled at me.
“Hey, why do you have to blame him?” Aaron asked.
“Relax,” I said. “He bumped his head off mine trying to look at a painting.”
“Jesus Christ, Josh,” Rae said as she ripped Toby out of my arms.
“Let me make sure he’s okay,” I said.
Rae threw a hand to my chest. “Stop. You did enough.”
“Rae,” Aaron said.
“No,” she said. “I didn’t even want to come. There are too many people here. This isn’t for kids. And you should be on my side.”
“Your side?” Aaron asked. “Are you frigging kidding me?”
“Hey,” I snapped. “You two need to calm down. The little man is fine. I’m sorry that happened. That’s on me.”
“Whatever, Josh,” Rae said. “Okay?”
Toby was done crying already.
I gently touched his cheek and swiped away a tear. “You okay, little man?”
“Yes,” he said.
“You want to tell Mom what you said?”
“Red flower,” he said to Rae.
“Good,” she said. “We came. We saw. Now we can go home.”
“Thanks for the support,” I said.
“Screw you, Josh,” Rae snapped and made a line toward the door.
I looked back at Aaron as he stood stuck between being pissed at Rae and being pissed at me.
“Do what you have to do,” I said. “I get it.”
“She gets touchy at things like this,” Aaron said. “Touchy about everything. I just wanted to have a fucking drink with her tonight.”
“Go home and have a drink,” I said.
“Tonight is a big night for you. I’m your best friend.”
“You’re also a father, Aaron. That’s the most important job in the world.”
“What about Rae?”
“Father first. Then my best friend. Then Rae’s punching bag and sex toy.”
“Wow,” he said. “That’s how you think it is with me and her?”
“Come on, man,” I said.
“I’ll talk to you later. She’ll leave me if I don’t get out of here.”
Aaron blasted through the back door and I stood there alone. There were a lot of people out front looking at pictures and paintings. Discussing what they meant. What I was thinking when I created them. People debating if it was worth making an offer on one or more.
I touched my back pocket.
I thought about unfolding the letter and taping it to a wall. In an empty gallery. Nothing but that letter. And have everyone come and read it. So I could finish the promise I made a long time ago.
The problem would be letting go of the letter, which I was supposed to do after writing it.
I moved my hand and licked my lips.
I needed a drink.
I met Randy five years ago. He loved to paint gigantic paintings with lots of colors and shapes. He would finish a painting and get high to stare at it. He said if the painting moved and spoke, it was a good one.
After some millionaire paid a lot of money for a painting, he had gotten messed up one night and signed the painting Razor. Then for some reason he decided to drop the R to make himself sound more… artistic?
Either way, Azor saved my ass the second he handed me the large, silver flask.
I flicked the lid open and drank like a man finding fresh water after a month in the desert.
“Let’s go make you famous,” he said. He wore an extra-large sweater with thick knitting that looked like a blanket.
He was tall, skinny, and his long hair and messy beard made him look like he belonged in some hippie band from the sixties, singing about peace and tripping on drugs.
“Fuck famous,” I said. “I just want people to understand.”
“Then let’s go make them understand,” Azor said. “And, hey, there’s a woman looking for you.”
“Who? What’s her name?”
I had a handful of Azor’s ugly sweater.
I released my grip and backed away. I took another drink. The brandy was good. Really good.
“Are you expecting someone?” he asked.
“No,” I said.
I took another drink from the flask and slipped it into my other back pocket.
“That’s my flask,” Azor said.
I ignored him and walked to the front of the gallery.
The crowd was buzzing with people. The owner of the gallery - Sasha - was floating around in a long black dress. She looked beautifully morbid, something she took pride in. Her grandfather owned half the block and this place was given to her as a just because kind of thing, but it worked to my benefit.
“Josh!” she called out when she saw me. “Come talk to us. Tell us everything.”
I gave a wave and kept walking.
Soon I had a lot of people calling my name.
It was almost like an echo in my mind.
The brandy started to really set in.
So much so that I heard a voice…
My plan was to walk right out the front door of the gallery and leave. I could walk home from where I was. A thirty-minute walk or so, but the fresh air would do me good. Maybe.
But the voice.
It was in my head and then it was real.
A familiar voice.
An impossible voice.
Someone touched my arm. “Great work here, Josh. I love it.”
That wasn’t the voice though.
It was a short woman with a low-cut dress. Her eyes dark and flirty.
I nodded and thanked her and kept walking.
I heard the voice again.