“I’m sure you would tell me to stop being such a prat and to help her,” Phin went on with a weak smile, holding his father’s limp hand. “She’s a woman in need, and when it comes to the fairer sex, it doesn’t matter what sins they’re guilty of, we love them all the same. I just wish she would have told me sooner.”
A guilty lump formed in Lenore’s throat. She wished she’d told him sooner too.
His father made the slightest grunting sound.
“I know,” Phin said, as though he’d interpreted an entire speech from the small sound. “Love gets all of us in trouble eventually. I never thought I’d actually fall for it,” he added with a smirk. “I know that I have never been able to keep my wicked ways from you entirely. How you managed to raise five such irascible children is beyond me.”
His father made another grunting sound.
“Oh, so you’re taking credit for all of our wickedness then?” Phin’s face brightened slightly, and he closed his other hand around his first as it held his father’s hand. “Just one hedonist raising a gaggle of others? Well, if you insist, Father.” He laughed gently, then sighed. “I just wish I didn’t feel so hurt. It seems ungentlemanly, somehow, to feel as though I’ve been betrayed when Lenore is in danger. But I have feelings too, pitiful as I feel for admitting it. We all do, when it comes down to it. And perhaps what I’m feeling most is disappointment that the lovely future I painted for myself won’t be able to happen the way I envisioned it.”
Lenore pressed a hand to her stomach, tears stinging at her eyes and guilt gnawing at her insides.
Phin’s father made another, small sound.
“I know, I know,” Phin sighed. “The future never turns out the way we plan it. But perhaps it will turn into something even better, right? Isn’t that what Mama always said?”
The pathos in Phin’s voice as he mentioned his mother—someone Lenore had never heard him talk about before, but who she could see had had a profound effect on Phin’s life—was too much for her to bear. She turned away, but in the process, she knocked her traveling bag against a table in the hall.
Phin jerked around and spotted her. His face was pinched with emotion, but he quickly smoothed it away. He cleared his throat and stood, patting his father’s hand before letting it go.
“And so, it is goodbye, Father.” He leaned over and kissed his father’s forehead. “I’ll try to make it back as soon as possible to visit. And I’ll drag Lionel with me, if I can. I fear the girls will mutiny if I don’t.” He squeezed his father’s hand one last time before leaving the parlor and joining Lenore in the hall.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Lenore said, feeling awkward and wrung out and rather like she wouldn’t mind falling through a hole in the ground and into a storybook world.
“I see you’re ready to leave,” Phin said, his expression betraying nothing about what he thought of her in that moment.
“I am.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“So am I.”
For a moment, they stood there facing each other without saying anything. Lenore wanted to say so much, but words seemed inadequate to express her thoughts. She just wanted everything to go back to the way it had been before Bart showed up and ruined her life once again.
In the middle of that thought, Phin raised a hand and brushed his fingertips against her cheek. The sudden, sensual, affectionate gesture sent a jolt of electricity through Lenore, reminding her that she was still alive and that she still loved Phin. Maybe that would be enough to conquer whatever Bart represented. She was certain that Phin would lean in and kiss her. That sort of fire was in his eyes.
Instead, he broke away, marching up the stairs and disappearing around the corner into his room. Lenore let out a heavy sigh. She felt silly standing in the hall waiting, so on a whim, she marched into Mr. Mercer’s parlor and up to his chair.
“I wanted to come say goodbye,” she told him, setting her bag down and sinking into the chair Phin had occupied. She took Mr. Mercer’s hand the way Phin had held it. “Thank you so much for having me as a guest in your house. I’m only sorry I couldn’t stay longer.” She paused, looking into Mr. Mercer’s eyes to see if she could feel any sort of understanding there.
“This is all such a terrible muddle,” she told him with a sudden burst of emotion. “And I swear to you, if I had known what would happen, and if I hadn’t been so afraid at the start, I would have been honest with your son. I also promise you that I will do whatever I can to make things right between the two of us. Because I’ll tell you a secret.” She leaned in closer to Mr. Mercer. “I love Phineas. I truly do. Not in spite of his scandalous ways, but because of them. And I hope I meet with your approval as well.”
“I’m sure you do.”
Lenore gasped and twisted to find Hazel watching her from the doorway. She looked both macabre and beautiful with her damaged face and missing arm. Lenore leapt up, letting go of Mr. Mercer’s hand and taking up her bag as she crossed the room.
“I’m sorry about this whole mess,” she told Hazel.
“I know you are.” Hazel reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I’ll tell you what I told Phin. Be patient. Things that are meant to be will always find a way to work themselves out.”
“And things that aren’t meant to be?” Lenore asked, one eyebrow raised.
Hazel shrugged. “They aren’t meant to be. But I have a good feeling about you,” she added with a wink. “And I hope you’ll come back soon.”
“So do I,” Lenore said. She dropped her bag and threw her arms around Hazel’s shoulders. “Believe me, so do I.”
Chapter 14
By the time the train pulled into St. Pancras station, Lenore felt as though she would never be anything but utterly exhausted ever again.
“Here, let me help you with that.” Phin stood as the train jerked to a stop and reached to the rack above Lenore’s seat to fetch her bag.
“I can carry a simple traveling bag, Phin,” Lenore sighed. Her muscles screamed in protest, telling her to stop being so stubborn and let the big, strong, handsome, furious man carry her bag for her, but she wouldn’t listen.
They’d been exceptionally lucky as to catch a train heading back to London within an hour of arriving at the station in York. In fact, they’d arrived so close to the train’s departure that they’d had to run to catch it. Which meant Lenore hadn’t been able to say a proper goodbye to Hazel and Amaryllis, who had insisted on accompanying them to the station, while Gladys stayed home with Mr. Mercer. Even so, the journey was long enough that it was well after dark by the time they’d arrived home in London. But London was London, so St. Pancras was as crowded as day when Lenore and Phin disembarked from their train and dodged their way through rushing people to the street in front of the station.
“I’ll take you home,” Phin announced as he flagged down one of many cabs waiting to take passengers.
“You don’t have to do that,” Lenore sighed. “This whole trip, while a delight, was a diversion.” Probably one he couldn’t afford, given what she knew about him and his family now. “I’m certain you have pressing business waiting for you at home, just as I do.”