I only read enough to realize what they were, and then I got the hell out of there before I got sick again.
“How did you get those texts?” I ask.
“When Larissa was twenty, I got her a cell phone. She was always getting into trouble, never could pay the bill on the one she had. I wanted to make sure she would always have a way to reach me no matter what, that she had a phone that would never be shut off.” He pauses. “I stopped bailing her out after a while. Stopped taking her calls. But I kept paying the bill.” He pauses. “Took some digging, but we managed to have the carrier dig up several years’ worth of texts between Larissa and Errol.”
“So why do you have them?”
“Because my mother is threatening to have my brother file a paternity suit.”
“Your brother wants custody?”
“He wants legal custody—which he then will relinquish so she’ll go back into the system.” He shakes his head. “To them, Honor is a black mark on our family name. A human stain. They want to pretend she doesn’t exist. Me adopting her prevents them from doing that.”
“He can’t do that, can he?” I ask. “He can’t just … step in and take over after all this time.”
“Talked to my attorney. He seemed to think the odds were against me in this one,” he says. “Which is why I have the transcripts. I have proof Errol knew of Honor’s existence and made it clear he wanted nothing to do with her. It also paints a pretty vivid picture of the abusive dynamics of their relationship. If you can call it that.”
“So … why does Beth think Honor is yours?”
“Beth is snowed. Errol and my mother have her convinced that Honor’s mine because she clearly looks like a Schoenbach and if she knew the truth, their marriage would be over and they’d lose the baby they’re in the process of adopting. Too much on the line.”
“She wouldn’t wonder why he’s suing for custody?”
“They’d keep her out of the loop. It’s not hard. Lying is what my mother and Errol do best. They’ve got it down to a science.”
“Maybe she already knows.”
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“She made this comment … that Schoenbach men ruin their women. Something about how she can’t stay but she can’t leave. And then she got all emotional.”
He rolls his eyes. “Beth has a taste for the finer things in life. Errol is her ticket to that. I don’t discount the chance that she knows of his philandering ways. I highly doubt Larissa was the first woman he fucked that wasn’t his wife… And he’s been begging to start a family for years. Beth doesn’t want kids. But she wants to stay a Schoenbach. She’ll be miserable if she stays. Miserable if she goes.”
“All of these things would’ve been nice to know …”
His lips press flat. “I was trying to keep you out of this. Spare you the family drama.”
I drag in a jagged breath and move closer to him. Lifting my hand, I cup the side of his cheek.
My gut is telling me to believe him. My heart too.
“I’ll take a DNA test,” he offers. “I’ll do whatever I need to do for you to believe me. I would never …”
I silence him with a slow kiss. “I know.”
Wrapping my arms over his broad shoulders, I pull him against me, and I hold him.
Sometimes all you can do for someone is to be there.
“I won’t let him take her,” he whispers.
“I know you won’t.”
“And when this is over, I’m going to kill him. I’m going to murder that bastard.”
I smirk. “No, you won’t.”
“By the time I’m through, he’ll wish he were dead.”
42
Bennett
“I ran out for donuts. Pink with white sprinkles.” Astaire balances a cardboard box in her hand Saturday morning before placing it next to the bouquet of flowers.
Jeannie will be arriving with Honor any minute.
“Flowers. Balloons. Donuts. Think we’re all set.” I kiss her cheek before making myself a cup of coffee. “But something tells me the thing she’s going to love the most … is you.”
Honor has no idea Astaire and I are dating.
We wanted to wait until it was just the three of us, sit her down, explain that we’re good friends who spend a lot of time together. For now, I thought it was imperative that she be here for this moment. Having a familiar face—someone she adores—will only enrich this experience for her.
Three knocks at the door.
“They’re here.” Astaire rises on the balls of her feet and gives me a lightning-fast hug before slipping her hand in mine and leading me to the foyer. “This is so exciting. I’m already getting teary-eyed …”
I laugh under my breath, gather a long breath, and get the door.
“Hello, hello …” Jeannie’s mouth curls into a reserved smile, but her eyes are glassy. All this time, I’ve never stopped to think of how bittersweet this moment must be for her, knowing she’ll likely never see this child again. She holds a medium cardboard box, and Honor hides behind her, playing peek-a-boo and fighting a grin.
“Please, come in.” I step aside and Honor whips around Jeannie’s legs and sprints toward me, wrapping my legs in a tiny squeeze, one I feel all the way to my chest.
Jeannie places the box on the floor next to the entry rug. From what I can tell, it contains a few clothes. A ragged teddy bear with a dangling eye. A naked baby doll. And a plastic jewelry box.
“Ms. Carraro!” Honor squeals, though she’s still stuck to me like glue. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to be a part of your special day,” she says.
“Yay!” Honor bounces.
“Hi, Jeannie. I’m Astaire Carraro. Honor’s kindergarten teacher and a good friend of Bennett’s.” Astaire greets Jeannie with a handshake. “Lovely to meet you.”
“You as well,” Jeannie says.
“We’ve got donuts if you’re hungry.” Astaire points to the kitchen.
Honor is still clinging to my leg. When Larissa first came to us, I remember the way she would cling to anyone who would let her cling to them. She was like a shadow. Always there. For a while, it was me. Then it was the gardener. The cook. My brother. Anyone who would pay her an ounce of attention was suddenly her new best friend.
It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized all she wanted was to be loved.
Reaching, I take Honor by the hand. “I hope you’re hungry. Jeannie, would you like to join us for breakfast?”
She swats her hand. I realize now she’s fighting back tears. “I won’t be staying, but thank you. And you have my number should you have questions or need anything.”
Jeannie shows herself out. Just like that. And just like that, it’s the three of us.
The place is quiet for a beat, like the world is shifting on its axis, realigning in a new direction. From this moment on, our lives will never be the same.
Honor’s.
Astaire’s.
Mine.
No one knows what the future brings. It isn’t possible. All I know is that as long as we have each other, we can weather any storm.