“That is true,” he said. “But I am afraid that, since I have kept this secret from her for so long, I will lose her altogether once I tell her.”
This time, it was Samuel who sighed.
“Yes, that is a very real possibility,” he said.
Daniel gave his valet a wry look.
“Thank you for your reassurance,” he said.
Samuel chuckled.
“I do not mean to mock you,” Samuel said. “But how do you think that the young lady would feel if you waited longer still to tell her?”
Daniel froze. It was true that he had already made a terrible mistake by not confessing his secret to Rose before now.
But how much longer could he wait to tell her without causing further, perhaps even irreparable damage? How much worse would it be if he continued to put off his confession? Worse still, what if she found out some other way than from his own lips?
“I believe that you really should be the one to tell her,” Samuel said, echoing Daniel’s thoughts. “You would almost certainly lose her if she found out before you told her.”
Daniel sighed, lost in his thoughts for a moment. Samuel was, of course, right, about everything. The more he dwelled on it, the guiltier he began to feel.
He knew, even as he debated the subject in his mind, that there was only one proper thing to do. However, this realization did little to assuage his worry, and it did not make his decision any easier. He tried to imagine any scenario in which Rose would be thrilled to learn that he was the Specter, but he failed.
He knew that, if he told her, the best he could hope for was that she would be angry with him for a short while but would eventually forgive him.
“Why did I ever have to lie to her in the first place?” Daniel groaned to himself.
“Milord,” Samuel said, causing Daniel to start again. He was not aware that his valet had heard him speak. “I am certain that you did not mean to lie to her. You were, after all, the Specter long before she met you.”
“Would that that fact made any of this any better,” he mumbled.
Samuel smiled sympathetically.
“Well, I would never presume to tell you what you must do,” he said. “But I do think that you deserve to be happy, as does the young lady. And the only way to ensure that is to have complete trust, and no secrets.” Samuel sat back, still looking at Daniel. “Besides, perhaps you underestimate her. Perhaps she is more forgiving than you are assuming.”
Daniel nodded slowly. He knew how kind and compassionate Rose was, but he had seen firsthand how she reacted when she felt that someone had wronged her.
He was not afraid of her reaction if he chose to tell her, although he imagined it might go much like her conversation with Lord Norton. What he feared most was her walking away from him and never speaking to him again.
Daniel put his face in his hands and sighed.
“You are, as always, the voice of reason,” Daniel said, feeling resigned. “And, as ever, you are absolutely right.”
Samuel smiled, but his face was kind, not smug or entitled.
“I only wish to help in any way I can,” he said softly.
Daniel gave his valet, and friend, a weak smile.
“I know, Samuel, and I am grateful,” he said. “And you have helped me a great deal. You are a good friend.”
Samuel looked at Daniel with hesitant earnest.
“Does this mean that you intend to tell her?” he asked.
Slowly, Daniel nodded his head. He knew that he would only fall more in love with Rose each time he saw her, and if she was going to shun him for lying to her, it would be best for them both to get it out of the way as quickly as possible.
Losing her would be painful, but lying to her was, he saw now, much worse.
“Yes, Samuel, I am,” he said, biting his lip to fight a sudden wave of tears that had begun to well up in his eyes.
“God, help me, I am.”
Chapter 16
The dance occupied the better part of Rose’s thoughts for several days.
Of course, she still dwelled on her unfruitful, and rather embarrassing, conversation with Lord Norton. Since it was quite clear that he had nothing to do with the chandelier crash and the fire at the theater, she found herself back where she and the Specter had started in regard to potential suspects.
She hoped that he was having better luck than she at finding more information. Moreover, she prayed that they could solve the mystery, and soon. She would be forever grateful for the Specter’s assistance, and she was beginning to care for him a great deal.
But she now knew that caring for him was unwise. She was also beginning to fall rather quickly for Daniel, and she knew that all of her business with the Specter must be concluded for good before those feelings progressed further.
The part of her mind which knew that was relieved the kiss she was certain Daniel had meant to give her at the ball had been interrupted.
Such a kiss would surely have meant that the feelings developing between the two would have begun to bloom all the faster, and she already felt guilty for having thus far been so divided between two men.
However, each time she thought back to walking in the gardens with him that evening, standing so close to him and watching him lean in for a kiss, her heart began to race, and she imagined time and again how it might have felt for his lips to touch hers.
When she received Mary’s letter inviting her to a small gathering at her home, she felt a flood of relief.
Mary was having a small group of people over for tea, and begged Rose to attend. Of course, Rose wrote back to her friend and happily accepted her invitation. She briefly considered asking Mary who else would be in attendance, but she ultimately decided that it did not matter.
It would be a great help to talk to her dearest friend, even if Rose did not get the chance to mention any of her current troubles. Upon accepting Mary’s invitation, Rose found it a bit easier to focus on her duties at the theater.
However, she could not help the occasional glance around in the hopes of spotting the Specter.
Rose was the last guest to arrive at Mary’s house on the day of the tea party.
She had spent the morning helping her father balance the theater’s books, and she had finished with little time to spare. Mary was waiting expectantly for her at the door when she arrived, and she barely took the time to greet Rose before she ushered her into the large drawing room with the other guests.
Rose was relieved to see that she knew most of the people in the room, and she liked them all well enough. Her heart leapt into her throat when a man standing by the window turned around and made eye contact with her.