“Please,” he said, his own voice trembling. “Allow me to explain.”
“And what, exactly, do you think that you can explain?” she asked, looking at Daniel as though he had gone mad. “Is it the part where you led me to believe that you were two different people? Or the part where you believed it was alright to allow me to develop feelings for men who did not exist?”
More tears streamed down Daniel’s face, but Rose was not capable of feeling sorry for him. She was furious, and she could hardly stand the sight of him.
“You must understand,” he said. “No one could know who I was while I was performing.”
“Not even the woman you were beginning to love?” Rose asked. “Or, was that a lie, as well?”
“No,” Daniel said, his voice pleading. “Rose, I have loved you all this time.”
“Don’t you dare use my given name, Lord Elbrook,” she hissed. “And stop trying to make excuses for yourself.” A loud sob choked her words, and she wiped furiously at her cheeks, trying vainly to dry the tears that would not stop falling.
Daniel’s face fell further still, and Rose knew that he felt terrible for her current state. She was glad, however. He deserved to feel remorse. He had betrayed her beyond all repair, and she was glad to see him in such turmoil. In her mind, it was nothing compared to the heartache she was feeling.
“I cannot tell you how sorry I am for doing this to you,” Daniel whispered through a sob of his own.
“I do not believe that, either,” Rose said. “In fact, I do not believe anything you say. I will never be able to trust or believe you ever again.”
Daniel dropped his head in shame, and he at last stopped trying to speak. Rose reached for the door, finding it harder and harder to keep standing there looking at the man who had broken her heart so.
“Allow me to make myself perfectly clear,” she said as she threw open the door. “I never, ever want to see you again.”
She cast a final poisonous look at Daniel. Then, she fled from the veranda, and the theater, and sobbed all the way home.
Chapter 22
Daniel sat in the veranda for a long time after Rose left, staring at the door as though he could will her to come back.
He did not blame her, of course. She had every right to be angry with him, and he had fully expected her to be.
But he had hoped that she would be compassionate enough to allow him to explain, even if she still decided that she never wanted to speak to him again. He felt his tears continue to fall, but he did not care. He had lost the woman he loved, and he knew that he would never earn her forgiveness, so he allowed himself to cry.
Eventually, he dragged himself out of the theater. By the time he exited the veranda, James and his father, as well as most of the cast and theater staff were gone. He was relieved. He knew he was a terrible sight, and he did not wish to have to speak to anyone just then.
That changed, however, whenever he got in the carriage and saw Samuel sitting there. The smile on his valet’s face faded at once as soon as he saw Daniel’s wet cheeks.
“Milord,” Samuel said, his voice full of worry. “What has happened?”
“Please, Samuel,” Daniel said, fighting a fresh wave of emotion. “Not now.”
Samuel moved closer to Daniel, his eyes concerned.
“As you wish, milord,” Samuel said. “But it might do you some good to talk about what it is that is bothering you.”
“I said not now,” Daniel snapped.
Samuel flinched, and Daniel felt instant remorse. Samuel was his friend, and he did not deserve such treatment.
“Please, forgive me, Samuel,” Daniel pleaded. “I did not mean to be so harsh with you.”
Samuel gave Daniel a small smile.
“Think nothing of it,” he said kindly. “Perhaps, I should not have pressed you.”
Daniel shook his head.
“It has just been one hell of a day,” Daniel said, thinking about everything that had taken place.
Samuel suddenly frowned.
“I should say so,” he said. “You came out here without your mask.”
Daniel nodded, tears filling his eyes once more.
“I believe that the Specter’s days are done,” he said.
Samuel’s eyes widened.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
As the carriage pulled away from the theater, Daniel gave Samuel a brief explanation of all that had transpired that day, beginning with James’s father’s arrival and ending with the heart wrenching confrontation with Rose. Samuel listened eagerly, and when Daniel was finished, he put his hand on Daniel’s shoulder.
“You did the right thing,” Samuel said.
Daniel snorted.
“It feels too awful to have been the right thing,” he said.
“Well, I admit that it might have been bad timing,” Samuel said. “But I believe that your lady friend will come around. After all, you compromised your identity in the name of rescuing an innocent boy. Surely, that will count for something, even if it does take time.”
Daniel nodded noncommittally, even though he was certain that Rose would be angry with him for the rest of her life.
“I suppose that my performing days are done, as well,” Daniel said. Now that he had revealed himself as the Specter, he did not see how he would ever be able to set foot onstage again, at least without receiving harsh criticism and judgment from the members of the ton, especially his father. And, in truth, in that moment, he did not wish to perform again. Losing Rose had taken away a piece of him, and he did not think he would ever again love acting as he once did.
Samuel patted his shoulder.
“Perhaps, you should get away for a few days,” he suggested. “You are in a great deal of pain right now, and you may not be thinking clearly. You should take a trip to the countryside and take some time to calm down and relax. Then, see if you still feel that way.”
Daniel thought for a moment. He had been meaning to pay Luke a visit, and he was sure that his friend would allow him to stay at his country estate for a few days.
After contemplating for several moments, Daniel nodded.
“I believe that you are right,” he said. “Thank you, Samuel.”
The valet smiled.
“I shall begin helping you pack as soon as we get home,” he said.
The next day, Daniel wrote a letter to his friend, announcing his impending arrival. Then, he spent the rest of the day with Samuel packing his trunks. He made arrangements to leave the following day, hoping that Luke would get his letter before he arrived. As they worked, Daniel wondered if he should write a letter to Rose’s father. He was, after all, an important character in the theater’s most recent production, and his absence would certainly be noticed. However, he realized with a sinking heart that Rose had very likely told her father who he was. If she had, and once he saw how badly Daniel had hurt his daughter, it was possible that Lord Roxbough would also never wish to see or hear from him again. In the end, he decided against writing the letter. He had an understudy who should be capable of taking his place in the production, and he could sort out everything else when he returned. He did, however, write a letter to Rose. He doubted that she would reply, but he made sure to put Luke’s address on the letter, just in case she did.