“He denigrated Kristen, and Chase had enough visuals to make him blind.”
“And I’m out of bleach.” Chase groaned like he was in pain and not just from the bump on his head.
Hunter grunted. “Figures.”
“Yeah, so we decided while you were out to have a barbeque at your house. Hope you don’t mind.” I shrugged, making sure I charmed him. Knowing how pissed my wife still was with me, I could confidently say dinner was off the table.
“Also, not surprised,” Hunter drawled letting his dormant southern accent slip through with his irritation at us. He went back outside to resume his sidewalk project, leaving the rest of our bromance inside with a sink to repair.
At least I didn’t have to worry about food poisoning tonight.
10
Remi
According to Winnie, the boys were in the dog house. Personally, I had other pressing issues like why we didn’t have any grapefruit juice in the house and why New York didn’t have a proper mango season so I could cut them up and eat them with my bacon. I fished around, looking for my phone, and sent Evan a text to pick some up before he came home. I figured he owed me, and it was my wifely prerogative to demand a little something.
I rubbed my belly gently, trying to settle my stomach, and grabbed an Alka-Seltzer tablet from the bathroom cabinet. I popped that into some water and tried chugging it down to only have the bugger come right back up. I would have tried again except there was knocking at the door, which could only mean one thing: Winnie was here.
“Come on, little man, time to spend the day with your aunties and help momma.”
“Help momma.” Ethan raised his pudgy arms for me to pick him up, and I obliged, walking him out the door.
“My goodness, he just gets bigger and bigger, doesn’t he?” Winnie took his diaper bag from me, and we got into the car to drive over to Carmen’s bakery, where we planned to have our cooking lesson. Once we got there, we were surprised to see Kristen and Taylor.
“Isn’t he the cutest!” Kristen took Ethan from me and swung him around as he squealed.
“He’s so handsome.” Taylor cooed and I was toddler-free while Carmen got us set up in the back of the bakery in the kitchen.
“All right, ladies, first I have to apologize. Federico was supposed to be my apprentice, but I can see he got carried away. I just don’t understand men, but let’s not have that dissuade you from cooking things you like in the kitchen.”
Winnie grabbed two aprons and put one over my head and then did her own as we tied them around our waists.
“It’s all right, Carmen. I really appreciate you taking the time to help us out. Federico said you had the flu and then Winne and Chase were sick with whatever was going around too.”
“Let’s call it like we see it. The guys overreacted a tad, but that’s kind of why we love them.” Winnie winked and I agreed.
“Okay, moving on let’s talk about what you’re struggling with in the kitchen.”
“I burn almost everything no matter what I do. It never cooks the way the recipe says. I even bought a scale so I could weigh the meat and everything and still, darn things burn or don’t even cook right.”
“Hmm.” Carmen tapped her chin and then wrote something down on her notepad. “And you, Win? What do you suck at doing in the kitchen?”
“Besides my boyfriend after I screw up a recipe?” Winnie chortled and I bent over laughing.
“Eww, gross. That’s my brother you’re talking about,” Kristen shouted from the other room.
“Yep.” Winnie had no shame and so I answered for her. “I’m pretty sure Winnie hates everything about cooking. If it calls for salt, she’s using pepper, or if it says defrost in the fridge overnight, she forgets and tries microwaving it.”
“Oh dear Jesus, girl. You want to be creative but there’s a time and place for that, and cooking is a bit like science first and art later.” Carmen scribbled more notes on her pad.
“Sorry not sorry. I’d just rather be doing anything else except cooking.”
“Which is totally fine, except for the whole food poisoning thing. You don’t want to kill Chase.”
Kristen waved her hand at us. “Sometimes I do.”
“Hush, Kristen.” Taylor tapped Kristen on the arm who faked being hurt.
“I repeat, you don’t want to kill him.” Carmen smiled. “I have a few easy recipes that even kitchen-haters can’t screw up and best part, you’ll live and won’t have to call for takeout.”
“Umm, hello. I’m half Asian. Take-out is in my blood the way wontons are a staple on Christmas Eve.” Winnie chuckled.
Taylor shook her head like she wasn’t touching that with a ten-foot pole, which was fine by me. I loved Chinese takeout, but I also couldn’t feed my boys eggrolls forever.
“Once we master some of these recipes, we’ll move on to making eggrolls from scratch. For now let’s cover the basics.”
We shared a good laugh and got down to it. Carmen pulled out some chicken breasts on the bone and a tray full of spices. Before I could say anything, my stomach chose that moment to revolt, full-on. I ran to the bathroom and shut the door before embarrassing myself.
“Remi!” I could hear them call my name as I bent over, taking care of business. The girls were talking outside the door, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything else except how awful I felt. And green. Everything tasted and looked green.
“Are you okay in there?” Carmen knocked on the door, and I pulled myself together to answer her.
“I’m running to the pharmacy!” Kristen shouted from beyond the door.
“I’ll live. What was on the chicken?” I asked between shudders and visions of gross chicken skin.
“Nothing yet. I was going to have you add some spices before we roasted them in the oven.”
“Ugh. Can I pass?” The last thing I wanted near my mouth was rubbery gross chicken. I hadn’t even smelled it, but I knew for sure it was something nasty. Why did people even eat chicken? Now red meat was where it was at—if only I could cook it.
“I don’t think it’s the chicken, sweetie,” Taylor said. Little hands banged on the door, and I knew Ethan needed me. I washed my hands and rinsed out my mouth.
“Yeah, I don’t think so either,” I mumbled, opening the door.
“Oh good, you’re alive. Go pee on this.” Kristen must have sprinted to the mom and pop pharmacy next door and handed me a box.
Back inside the bathroom, I opened the box and did the deed. Coming out of the bathroom, I found that Carmen had nicely removed the chicken from view, smell, and proximity.
Kristen practically jumped up and down, vibrating with energy.
“I’m so excited,” she squealed as we all looked at her. “What? Babies are so cute and we already know you and Evan are going to make an adorable one to match this little guy. They’ll get the best of both of you.”
“Calm down, baby fever. Let’s read the stick.” Winnie pushed through our little crowd at the sink and waved the stick high in the air. “Score, momma!”