I rise and walk to the intercom next to the door, then push the button to talk. “Yes?”
“Carissa? God, it’s good to hear your voice.”
My stomach does a flip and ends in a knot. I know that voice. I know the voice so damn well.
It can’t be.
Pushing the talk button once more, I ask, “What are you doing here?”
“Please let me up. This won’t take long.”
I take a deep breath and push the other button on the intercom, unlocking the door.
I pace back and forth as I wait for him to knock on the door to my apartment. Why is he here now? What does he want?
Moments later, three raps on my door make me jump back. I steady myself and go to open it.
My heart pounds in my chest. Why is he here? I can’t imagine what on Earth he wants. It’s been too damn long without a single word and now this?
Pulling the handle back, I lower my eyes to the ground, take another deep breath, and allow him back into my life. I hope I don’t regret this later.
“Carissa.” His voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s loud enough for me to hear it.
My eyes flit to take in his image. He still looks the same after all this time. I swallow thickly, not saying a word.
It doesn’t matter because the next words are his. “Damn, you look good… I’ve missed you.”
Can’t say the same about you… “What are you doing here, Steve?” I finally ask, biting the bullet.
He smirks, probably because my questioning him is not something he was expecting. He probably thought I was going to immediately welcome him with open arms.
Sorry, buddy. That’s so not happening. Not this time.
“Can I please come in, babe? I don’t want to have this discussion in your hallway.”
Why the hell is he calling me babe? I roll my eyes but nevertheless allow him to come into my apartment. I close the door behind him and stand a few feet away from it. I will keep my distance from him if it kills me. “Okay. You’re inside. Now what is this about? Please make it quick. I’m pretty tired.”
“Can we sit down and talk on the couch?” he asks. What is with him? Not a single word from him in three years, and now all of a sudden and out of nowhere, he wants to talk? What about all those times right after he broke my heart when I begged him to talk to me and he wouldn’t give me a second glance? What about that? I bet he doesn’t remember any of it. Prick.
I take a deep breath. This is going to take all my patience. I roll my eyes and lead him into the living room. I don’t even invite him to sit. Instead, I plop down on one end and look up at him. “Well?”
He shakes his head, and after a few moments, he takes a seat next to me. “Carissa, babe. I’ve been thinking.”
Oh, you have? For once, you’ve been using the head attached to your neck as opposed to the one in your pants? That’s a first.
“Okay?” I ask, urging him on.
He reaches out to grab my hand, but I flinch.
“What the hell are you doing?”
He gives me one of his famous smug grins that I used to love. It’s the same smug grin he put on every single time right after I’d lie down on the bed and he’d crawl above me, hovering over me. Chills run down my spine at the memory.
“Damn, I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean anything. I just want to feel close to you.”
My patience is running out, and I seriously want him out of my apartment.
I stand from the couch and cross my arms over my chest. His eyes roam the length of my body, and I can tell he is not taking me seriously at all. I need to stop this. “Steve, I need you to leave. Now.”
He jumps up. “Hey, babe. I’m sorry. Please don’t ask me to leave. I know I can make you happy. Please let me stay.
I furrow my brows. “Steve, what the hell are you doing? Let you stay? You need to leave here before I call the cops.”
He looks around him, but his gaze lands on me once more. “I don’t want to leave, and I don’t want you to call the cops.”
I tap my foot. “You don’t? Okay, so what do you want, Steve?
“I want you,” he responds casually.
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “Me? After all this time… me? You wanted to be with your ex. Do you remember? You left me, your fiancée, for your ex, and then you didn’t say a word to me for years. I think it’s clear, as it was pretty clear the day you made your choice. It wasn’t me.”
“But it is you!” he says. He steps closer and grabs my hand in his.
I don’t pull it away this time. I’m so dumbfounded by what he’s telling me. I shake my head. “No, Steve. It wasn’t me then, and it’s not me now. I’m sorry, but you really have to get going now.”
Pulling me harder, he forces me onto him until my mouth is inches from his.
The same mouth that once upon a time used to kiss me so sweetly.
The same mouth that once upon a time used to make me shudder with anticipation right before we’d give ourselves over to one another, becoming one in the middle of the night.
The same mouth that eventually spoke the words saying he no longer loved me and wanted to be with someone else, only months before we were set to be wed.
Bitter memories cloud my vision, but as I’m coming to, I gasp. “Steve, let me go!”
He chuckles wickedly. “You were mine then as you will always be mine and belong to me—when I want, and how I want. Don’t you ever forget that.” He whispers those last five words, and his breath is warm against my face. A sudden flashback to times he got drunk and grabbed me the way he just did flood my brain. It took me months after he left for me to realize that how he’d treated me was worse than I’d thought. This can’t be happening all over again. I need to get away from him.
I desperately try to break away from his grasp, but I can’t. He’s too strong, and his grip on me is too tight.
One of his hands lands on my ass and he squeezes tightly. “You always did have such a nice round booty… Mmm, the things I want to do to it right now. Why don’t we make our way to our bedroom, huh?”
“Fuck you!” I shout, trying desperately to break away from his hold. This is my place now. He no longer lives here. He grabs me from the waist and pulls me out of the living room and into the hallway. I grip onto the doorjamb and hold on as tightly as I possibly can, but my hands are slipping and hurting from gripping so tightly. “No!” I scream. “Let me go!”
“What’s going on here?” A familiar voice I adore so much comes to my rescue. My eyes dash toward the front door. Thank God for the spare key only she and my sister know sits tucked behind the portrait hanging right outside the door.
Steve’s grip on me immediately loosens at the distraction, and I stumble forward and move as far away from him as I possibly can. I run to my best friend’s side. “Emy!” I wrap my arms around her, so thankful that she barged in and interrupted his ploy.
She gives me a once-over and asks, “Are you okay, girl?”
I nod. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” We let go of our embrace, and I stand next to her, hugging myself. I hate that he had his hands on me. I hate the memories that crashed back to my mind. It took me so long to move forward from all of it, his physical and emotional abuse and his cheating ways. And now, he’s just brought it all back. I shudder. I feel dirty and can’t wait to shower.