Well, I can. I know I can.
“You need to jump off your feelings of being all anti-dick and start jumping into a man’s bed… preferably one with a nice, big cock.” Emy flips her hair back.
Shannon laughs. “Miss No Filter.” Her dazzling three-karat engagement ring sparkles in the light. She’s engaged to her fiancé, Christopher, and they’ve been together for two years.
Emy throws her a proud grin. “That’s right. I am Miss No Filter, and I don’t give a fuck. I tell you how it is for your own good, sweetie. And you, my love, definitely need some D in your life. And by D, I mean dick.”
“I know what you mean!” I throw my hands up in exasperation. There’s no winning with these two. I totally give up.
“Carissa! Please!” Emy shouts as she grabs onto my arms and pulls back and forth. “I mean, look at the size of those biceps! Look at that smirk… ugh, he’s fucking gorgeous! Tell me this poster alone doesn’t make your panties wet!”
Shannon is guffawing. “Oh my God! Girl! I can’t with you!”
“Jesus, Emy! Chill!” I yell, rising from the couch.
Emy joins Shannon in a fit of giggles. I’m going to kill these two.
“How can you two be so damn—”
“Turned on?” Emy interrupts, cutting me off.
“Horny… definitely horny after looking at that and imagining the things—”
My eyes widen, and I cross my arms across my chest. “Shannon, you too? Your man would not approve.”
Shannon comes to my side and drapes an arm across my shoulders. “It’s a harmless comment. I’m not cheating on Chris. I love him. But come on, li’l sis. You have to admit that whoever he is, he is one fine piece of man meat… I can’t blame Emy for trying to get us to go with her. Well, you. I’m definitely going with.”
“Thank you, Shannon!” Emy exclaims, rising to her feet. She takes a few steps to reach us and holds out the flyer for us to see.
Honestly, I hadn’t even glanced at it when she first waved it around. It’s an advertisement for some big MMA fight coming up next month. Now, I’m looking at what they’re going crazy over. Some guy with his arms crossed—huge arms, might I add—is standing against a ring wearing a devilish smirk. A bunch of other muscle heads are to his left and right. Sure, he’s not bad looking, but like I said before, I’m not interested.
“Look, Em… She’s not saying anything. I think Guns got her attention… fin-a-fucking-ly!” Shannon states.
“I know, for real,” Emy says.
I furrow my brows and look at my sister. “Guns? I don’t see any weapons on this flyer.” I know what she’s talking about, but I love pulling their chain.
Once again, the two of them are cracking up.
Once Shannon catches her breath, she says, “Oh, Carissa. Sometimes I wonder if you were adopted. Guns… as in massive arms… not pistols.”
“Well, I wouldn’t mind seeing his pistol…” Emy says.
“Me neither!” Shannon chuckles.
I give the flyer another glance and then roll my eyes. “You two are ridiculous. I swear.” I walk back to the couch and take a seat.
Shannon sits on the love seat across from me, pulling her cell phone from her pocket. “I give up.”
Emy, instead, takes a seat right next to me. “Carissa, my best friend whom I’ve known since we were in kindergarten, please don’t make me drag you out of this house on the fifth to witness the eye candy the good Lord has blessed us with.”
Once again, I roll my eyes. “Emy, take Shannon’s advice and give up. I’m not attending any stupid AMM event.”
“MMA!” she shouts. “You know, UFC?”
I chuckle. “I know. I’m just trying to get under your skin like you’re getting under mine.”
I pick up my book, Anna Karenina, and dive back into the scene where Anna first meets Count Vronsky at the train station. No matter how many times I read this book, it always gets to me. Shannon and Emy are always calling me a bookworm, but I don’t care. I’m a sucker for romance novels—particularly this Tolstoy one.
I wonder if it’s because I’ve always wished for a love like the ones I read in books. Okay, not particularly a love like the one I’m currently reading about, but the passion for sure. Maybe it’s because this is fiction, and I know it doesn’t really happen in life. I’ll say that’s the reason so I don’t feel so bad about my own shortcomings in the romance department.
Sure, I’ve had a couple of boyfriends throughout my thirty-two years, but none of them have ever gotten me anywhere. My last was a complete disaster.
Well, he wasn’t my boyfriend when we split up. He was my fiancé, and he completely destroyed me after being with him for two and a half years.
What a complete fucking waste.
“Carissa,” Emy whispers to grab my attention once more. This time, I’m not totally mad at her. I’m thankful she’s pulled me out of my thoughts because every time I think of Steve, I want to strangle someone.
Placing my book to the side, I turn to face Emy.
“Shit, girl. I know that look. Are you thinking of that dickhead again?”
She knows me too well. All I do is shrug.
“I swear I’m going to kill that son of a bitch! Look at what he’s done to my sister! It’s been three years, and she’s still hurting from what that asshole did to her!”
“I’m fine!” I snap, facing Shannon.
“Carissa, listen to me,” Emy says. “Okay, forget this UFC event coming up in two weeks. We’ll discuss that another time. Let’s go out tonight and have a few drinks. It’ll be fun. We haven’t done that in so long.”
“What’s the point? I hate drinking,” I respond.
“To get our mind off shit. Come on, li’l sis. We’ll have a good time and make jokes,” Shannon says.
She’s got a point. Maybe going out with them will allow me to forget my troubles and Mr. Douchebag for a while. It can’t hurt to have a little fun. Still, I want to mess with them just a bit longer. “I don’t know. I’m at this really great part in my book—”
“Carissa!” the two of them shout in unison.
I laugh. “Okay, okay. I’ll go.”
“Yes!” Emy jumps up from the couch. “Bottoms Up, here we come!
I quickly interrupt her celebratory dance. “But… no funny business. Meaning it’ll just be us girls, without you two trying to set me up with any morons.” I point at the two of them.
Shannon rises from her seat. “Deal. I’m going home to change. I’ll pick you both up in about two hours. Be ready.”
“Oh, we will!” Emy says in a singsong voice as Shannon heads out the door.
“I hope I haven’t made a grave mistake.” I frown. Maybe I gave in a bit too soon.
Emy laughs. “It’s going to be fine. And then, when you see how much fun tonight is going to be, you’re going to beg us to go out again tomorrow night.”
“Tomorrow night? I don’t think so. Two nights in a row is asking a bit much.”