“Stop.”
“I’m serious. I’ll be front row, singing along…”
“Liam, please, don’t ever sing again,” she said.
“Ouch.”
“You know you suck.”
“And you know you’re a great singer,” I said. “I don’t want to tell you what to do… but this…”
“This is the past, Liam,” she said. “That’s the thing with us. We’re the past.”
That felt like she punched me right in the heart.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “We were the past. But this is now. Right now.”
“It was one night,” Emily said. “We had fun. And we weren’t even supposed to be doing that. I feel like-”
“Did you enjoy it?” I asked. “Singing?”
“Of course I did.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“There is no problem,” she said. “You’re making it one.”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“Did I ask for your help?”
I sucked in a breath. “Damn.”
“See my point?” Emily whispered.
“Yeah, I do. I’m overbearing. I’m a pain in the ass. I get in the way. I push at you. I fight through your stubborn walls…”
“And I didn’t ask for it,” she said.
“But I can’t help it, Em. I have to…”
I caught myself inching closer to her.
And she wasn’t inching away.
That meant we were both getting closer to one another…
My head and heart battled louder than anything I ever heard or felt in my life.
Yet my version of peace was just one life changing decision away.
“Em…”
Her lips moved but she didn’t say anything back to me.
The door to the roof flew open with a bang.
Emily jumped away from me.
I shut my eyes and hated myself. For a ton of reasons.
“Hey, Buzzy,” Emily said.
“I can’t believe… oh… sorry.”
I watched as a young girl froze in place, looking between Emily and I.
Emily’s cheeks were flushed.
“Buzzy, this is Liam,” Emily said. “He’s, uh, my friend…”
Friend.
I moved away from the edge of the roof. I gave a quick wave.
“Liam, this is Buzzy,” Emily said. “She lives in the building.”
“This is a great spot up here,” I said. “Sorry for crashing it.”
“Are you two on a date or something?” Buzzy asked.
Emily and I both laughed.
“I was just getting ready to leave actually,” I said. “Have to get some sleep. Work in the morning. Be careful growing up. Sometimes it’s a trap.”
“I can’t wait to grow up and move out,” Buzzy said. “Then I don’t have to listen to my mother.”
“Well, my advice is to do well in school and take care of yourself,” I said. “Which you probably don’t want to hear from a stranger.”
“Exactly,” Buzzy said.
I laughed.
I looked at Emily.
Emily mouthed sorry to me.
I nodded.
I put my hand to my ear to signal to Emily that I would call her tomorrow.
She nodded back.
As I walked toward the door, Buzzy went to Emily for a hug and started to vent.
That was Emily.
She was always helping people. Taking care of others. Sometimes to her own detriment. Most of the time she’d end up hurt.
I couldn’t get the image of me and her closing in on each other out of my head.
What the hell was I thinking?
What the hell was I going to do?
Why the hell couldn’t I fight back feeling something for Emily?
Chapter Twenty-Six
Emily
I did leave the apartment on time.
Which meant I would have gotten to the bakery on time too.
Except…
I took a little detour to walk by the music club.
A part of me just wanted to be there again. To revisit the entire night.
My heart twisted.
I wasn’t a bad person. Or at least I didn’t believe I was.
I was the person who gave food to the homeless. I was the person who talked to Buzzy because she was mad at her mother. I was the person who checked on Miss Crabapple. I was the person who took over the failing family business.
But what did that actually make me?
A doormat.
And all I could do as I walked, was tell myself that all the good I did was worth it and made up for the maybe not so good that I was thinking and feeling.
Liam was… Liam.
It’s how we were years ago.
Yeah, sure, we lost some time during college and after, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t pick up where we left off.
You mean the night you and him were going to meet at that tree and finally admit you had feelings?
I shook my head.
That’s not what I meant at all.
That was high school.
We were seventeen turning eighteen.
That was a far cry from what we were now.
Then why did you enjoy being with him so much last night? Why did you jump into his arms? Why did you and him get so close on the roof…
My cheeks started to warm up.
I replayed that scene in my mind dozens of times.
I really wondered what would have happened if Buzzy hadn’t interrupted us.
It was crazy to think about.
And if that wasn’t crazy enough, when I thought about Liam, I thought about Miranda. Which was duh but it wasn’t good. She was in Boston on business. She trusted Liam and I to help plan their wedding.
Did she though? Or did she just demand it? How many times has she screwed you over?
I looked down at my feet.
I pleaded with my mind to please stop.
There was no way I was getting close to Liam to get back at Miranda.
That would make me evil.
I wasn’t evil.
I was-
“Emily?”
I stopped walking and looked up to find a complete stranger staring at me.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Ernie.”
“I don’t know any Ernie.”
“I know about you,” he said. “I saw you. Last night. Right here.”
He nodded to the music club behind him.
I hadn’t even realized I was there.
My mind had been racing so fast, I would have just walked right by.
“Okay,” I said.
Now the anxiety kicked in.
Thinking this guy maybe knew Miranda. And he was going to tell Miranda that I was with Liam last night. Even though we didn’t do anything wrong.
Did we do anything wrong?
I knew if I had to ask… then the answer was… yes…
“I own the place,” Ernie said.
“Oh,” I said. “Right.”
“You have no idea who I am?”
“No.”
Ernie laughed. He touched his slicked back black hair and pointed to the front door. He wore gold bracelets that hit together like wind chimes.
“Got a minute to come in?”