Demos tossed the last of his sandwich in his mouth and licked his fingers.
“That’s kind of a tough shit from all of us. I was born this way, and so was Kimon, but Pavlina and Tryphon had to deal with strange magic being inflicted on them, and so did half of the Underworld monsters. If your family can dish it out, they can take it if it means those weapons get destroyed when this is over. If they will betray you over this, how do we know they won’t come to use them on you and Hades in the Underworld? They haven’t really given us any reason to trust them without a spell that will kill them unless they keep their oath.”
Hephaestus sighed, and I realized how tired he looked.
“I know you’re right, but when we let that out of the bag, let me do the talking. They don’t like me, but I’m one of them. Please don’t shoot your mouths off if they say something you don’t like. We need them on our side. Even if you don’t like my mother, Apollo, Hermes, and Tyche are all nice Olympians.”
I had very different opinions about nice than Hephaestus did. He probably considered them friendly because they weren’t directly cruel to his face about his limp, but I knew they still snubbed him about it. And that wasn’t even remotely nice.
If I wasn’t going to kill them, I had several things I wanted to say to them about how they treated Hephaestus. But I could keep my mouth shut until they made that blood oath.
Chapter 18
River
W
e didn’t have to sit around this horrifically gaudy bedroom for long before Hera came back with help. We were lying around still trying to figure Hera out, and I was trying to avoid looking at the huge, gilded mirror above the bed. Solron wasn’t wrong when she said it looked like an eighties porn movie barfed in here, and the vibrating bed was defective. Sometimes, it would just start if we shifted, and it was getting annoying. I totally got vibrating toys and was all on board for that, but I hated this vibrating bed with a passion.
Hera came in with this huge, wild-looking man and didn’t bother to introduce him like they had selfies back in ancient Greece, and I knew exactly who he was. There were plenty of people in the room who wouldn’t, but my monsters seemed to know him, so he must have spent a lot of time on Earth. Hephaestus looked utterly shocked to see him.
“I didn’t take you for getting involved in this, Dionysus.”
Hera brought us the fucking God of Wine and Fertility? Wasn’t he this big party freak who was into orgies and getting drunk? I’d learned I was totally into the orgies, and I’d never say no to a good glass of wine, but why was he here?
“I’m the fucking leader of this little rebellion, Hephaestus. We just didn’t know how to get it started until Hera came to me about your weapon.”
I was so confused. Were we going to get led by a drunk? Hera trained her intense blue eyes on me and tossed her hair over her shoulder.
“They are still teaching classes about us on Earth, and this one thinks she knows everything about us. You might want to clear up some misinformation, Dionysus.”
Dionysus just smirked at me.
“I hope they still get me right. I was never on board with coming to Earth and pretending to be a god. I was totally against it, but Zeus wanted it, so we all had to do it. I already knew how it was going to go down. People would pray to us and be terrified bad things would happen if they weren’t devoted enough.
“Zeus didn’t care what the rest of us did once he hatched his plan. He just wanted to be worshipped as the supreme god. So, I became the fun god. The one people weren’t terrified of. I was all about drinking, merriment, and orgies. I wasn’t a god that was going to curse you. My name became associated with pleasure instead of terror.
“I wasn’t expecting cults to form or people asking me to change them with my magic. After a lot of begging, I created a satyr, and I wasn’t expecting so many people to want it. I tried to make the requirements for me changing them hard so people wouldn’t ask, but people just wanted it so badly.
“The whole thing just blew up in my face. I wanted to be this god people could associate with feeling good, but they liked feeling good so much, they took Dionysus worship to the extreme. I was so relieved when Zeus lost interest, and we got to go back home. I don’t need my ego stroked like Zeus does.
“Zeus is still like that, and he would do it again. You are clearly not mortal. I don’t know what you are. Several creatures in this room aren’t, so you can’t be from Earth. If Zeus knew where you were from and he could take it, he would invade your realm and set himself up as king.
“There are a lot of us here that don’t think like that, and we hate how humans are treated here. We do as much for ourselves as we can, and any servants we have are treated kindly and well. The humans here that haven’t been assigned a house to serve are slaves. They live in huts they’ve built, and they eat what they can scavenge. We’ve tried to get Zeus to change that, and he refuses. They are cattle to him.”
Hephaestus looked at Hera.
“I’ve been stealing from the kitchen. Zeus wouldn’t give leftovers to servants unless you bugged him about it.”
Hera rolled her eyes.
“There was a lot of nagging and agreeing to let him bed me before he admitted feeding the servants more than stale bread would prevent them from dying on him. I just wanted them fed, but I had to spin it in a Zeus way that they could serve him better if they weren’t starving all the time.”
Zeus was such a shit. And Hera got a few brownie points from me for going to extremes to get these people food. I was still deciding about Dionysus. What he said made sense, and I saw him in a different light, but what was he going to say about the blood oath? Hephaestus got right down to business.
“I get you want change, and I want Olympus to change too. Before I lay any of my weapons in your hands, I have terms.”
So did I. How about a fucking apology for how they treated Hephaestus? He was technically here saving their asses from Zeus and his tyranny. Who was defective now? They’d still be at this stalemate dealing with Zeus’s shit if it weren’t for Hephaestus’s brilliance.
“Do you want to be the one that kills Zeus?” Dionysus asked. “The only reason most of us avoided you after he hurt you was because we didn’t want to risk his wrath. The outright nasty ones are part of the problem and the ones we either want to kill or imprison.”
That was the shittiest apology I’d ever heard in my entire life, and I once listened to a yellow lab try to apologize for fear peeing on my shoe when he wasn’t used to me yet. The lab also ended up pooping on my floor before I calmed him down, and he profusely apologized for that too because it mortified him.
“I’ve long stopped caring what Olympians think about my limp. There were plenty of opportunities to show me kindness when Zeus wasn’t around, and none of you took it. We have a job to do, and I don’t care who gets to kill Zeus as long as the job gets done. I’m only turning my weapon over to your side if it’s agreed that they are returned to me to be destroyed.”
What Dionysus said next was going to change everything. I think we were all leaning forwards a little waiting. Were we going to have to kill both of them in this room because they tried to take them by force? I realized he was smarter than they had ever taught me.