“I’d like that. As much as it seems like a strange place, I’d like to visit Hell.”
Demos finally spoke.
“I thought I wanted to go, but if demons are going to be throwing themselves at River because of the whole cat thing, I may get us banned.”
My father gave Demos his haughty look.
“You don’t get banned from Hell. If you fuck up while you’re there, you’ll get tortured until you’re begging for death, and then when someone gets bored with you, they’ll finally kill you. Demons all have high honor codes. People will compliment her, but no one will hit on her when they see she’s with all of you. Please. Show some respect. Demons don’t steal spouses.”
Tryphon just casually leaned back in his chair.
“We don’t know the first thing about demons, but cheating has been going on way before Zeus stepped out on Hera. It goes on in the Underworld too.”
Barbatos just sniffed.
“That’s because none of you torture cheaters properly. People learn.”
Kimon just held up his hands.
“I, for one, would love to see where River comes from. I don’t care if anyone hits on her in front of me because I know I’ll be the one in her bed that night.”
“Hogging big spoon,” Pavlina said.
“As sexy as that display was, I know how much River misses Hephaestus,” Kimon said. “Hades is gone all the time, and we aren’t in the loop. Is there any news on getting Hephaestus back?”
“Hades has been trying to negotiate with Zeus to get Hephaestus back with no one else dying. He has to phrase things in a way that there’s not an entire forge of those weapons because if Zeus knows, he’ll try to get them so he can kill Hephaestus for good. Once that’s done, he’ll come for the Underworld. The only reason he didn’t take Hades with him is because of the Titans. If they got out and Hades wasn’t here, there would be nothing stopping them from coming for Olympus.”
“If Zeus is truly scared of the Titans, is Hades playing that card?” I asked.
Barbatos shook his head.
“Not yet. It’s not time. He’s trying to reason with Zeus first and is telling him everything Demeter did while she was here. Persephone is in on the talks too and letting him know what Demeter did to her as well. Hades is trying to play the card he contacted Zeus several times to come to get her, and Zeus refused.”
I sipped my wine.
“I realize I’ve only met the guy once, and all I know about him is what I learned in class, but he doesn’t really seem like the kind of guy you can reason with,” I pointed out.
“He’s not,” Tryphon said. “He’s worse than Poseidon. But even with those weapons, all the Olympians together in one place are a lot stronger than some humans Artemis conscripted into her army. There are also demigods and chosen humans in Olympus who are innocent in all of this. Their only crimes were that they were liked enough to be allowed in. Most of the time, that just means they kissed a lot of asses. It’s going to be a bloodbath on both sides, and a lot of innocent people will end up dying if Hades doesn’t at least attempt to negotiate first. That way, he can say he tried and plead his case to the people left standing so they don’t retaliate.”
I deflated because I knew he was right. As much as I wanted Hephaestus back, a lot of these demons who had agreed to help would die. My monsters could die, and so could I. I had to be patient.
I wasn’t holding my breath. The man was a serial adulterer and rapist. He injured Hephaestus for asking him not to hurt Hera.
But sure, he would totally listen to reason when it came to Hades and Persephone trying to explain everything Demeter had done to deserve that knife to the heart.
Chapter 4
Hephaestus
O
lympus didn’t have jails when Zeus kicked me out. If someone wanted to get rid of you, they did it in the Pits of Tartarus with the Olympians. The only reason I wasn’t there right now was that Zeus wanted to know about the weapon I used to kill Demeter. Not that he was mad Demeter was dead. He’d only ever liked her to warm his bed. Zeus wanted that weapon. It would mean he could kill Olympians without having to lure them to the Underworld first. That didn’t work anymore. Everyone knew if an Olympian asked you there, it was to get rid of you for good.
I knew exactly where I was. I was in Ares’ playroom. Ares like to pretend he was this fantastic Dom, but he was just a sadist who enjoyed hurting women. He had to stick to humans because Aphrodite was the only Olympian who would play his games anymore. After I trapped them, he refused to play with her anymore. Minor victories, I guess.
They had chained me to his playroom wall for the longest time. A human servant came in sometimes, but rarely enough to give me food and water. My bad leg was screaming since I’d been standing for so long. Sometimes, I’d try to relieve my leg by hanging from my arms, but I couldn’t do that for very long.
Zeus had only visited once. He beat me with his fists and demanded to know how to make the weapon. I refused to tell him. I hated him, and he had no way of killing me here. Yeah, I taunted him and just took his fists. It wasn’t the first time he beat me like this, but it would be the last when this was done.
After his first visit, he just left me alone, and that wasn’t Zeus. This wasn’t some form of isolation torture. That was too nuanced for him. He was more of a fist and lightning type of guy when he wanted information.
When the door opened, I expected it to be him. He’d left me alone way too long when Zeus wanted information. It wasn’t someone bringing me food and water because they did that last night, and they were pretending like I didn’t need to eat and drink regularly.
I was totally shocked when my fucking ex-wife walked in. What was Aphrodite doing here? She preferred living with humans. As far as I knew, she still was. She looked at me with pure hatred when she saw me chained to the wall. Fuck her. I had someone who looked at me with total adoration now. Aphrodite could take her stink eye and go straight to Tartarus.
She tossed her long, blonde hair over her shoulder and glared at me. She was still beautiful, but she’d changed since living with the humans. It looked like she was consistently baking herself in a tanning bed, even though when we were married, she’d insist on bathing in milk so her skin would be creamy white. Her clothing had a lot of things sucked in or pushed up. She might have used to be the Goddess of Love, and humans thought she was the most beautiful woman ever to exist, but she just looked cheap right now. Her perfume was tickling my nose, and that smelled cheap too.
“I was going to get so many new followers and likes because I had Coachella tickets. Zeus forced me back here to deal with you. I thought I was done with you when Zeus dissolved our marriage. You’re like herpes.”
My lips were cracked, bruised, and bleeding. My mouth was so dry, it felt like someone had repeatedly shoved cotton down my throat until there was no room for anything else. My lip started bleeding again, but I smirked at Aphrodite.
“I’ll bet you know all about herpes, right, Aphrodite? You certainly didn’t get it from me.”
Aphrodite stomped her foot and shrieked.
“I hate you! I hate everything about you. I had every eligible perfect Olympian ready to go to war for my hand when Zeus stepped in and picked you so there would be no fighting. He never asked me what I wanted. I didn’t want to live in that filthy volcano, and if I had to have a husband, I didn’t want one that was defective!”