Which was when he realized that that it probably was.
“Oh my god. Are you—are you sticking around for me?”
CJ blushed, looking coyly down at the glass in his hand, and Jace couldn't stop the rising indignation and anger flame through him. “So my parents were right, is that it? That you think I'm some kind of charity case? I don't fucking believe you.”
“What? No, that's—” CJ stumbled over his words as he turned to Jace, seemingly shocked before his mouth set into a hard line. “Are you fucking shitting me right now? Is that what you think of me?”
“What the fuck am I supposed to think? Because you clearly don't think I can manage by myself.”
CJ threw up his hands. “You're a selfish prick sometimes, you know that? I know you can manage. God knows, you manage to take care of both us often enough. I just don't see why you should have to struggle, when it would be easier for me to help you out for a change, by doing this one small thing.”
“One small—” Jace could hardly believe his ears, could hardly believe how their perfect evening was turning into a blazing fight. “You turning your life upside down just because you feel sorry for me because I'm going to have to slum it for a couple of years isn't a small thing CJ” He struggled to stand, unsure of where he was going to storm off to but knowing he had to get out of there “I don't need your pity.”
“It's not pity, you dumbass.” CJ was just as unsteady on his feet as he got up, ready to chase him.
“Then what is it?” Jace yelled.
“I love you, you jerkoff! Christ, why do you have to be so—?”
Jace wasn't sure if CJ had realized what he'd just admitted or if it was the look of shock on his face that cut CJ off midsentence, but suddenly the room was deathly quiet, even the song coming out of the speakers fading to silence.
“You what?”
CJ's eyes went wide with terror for a second and then his expression shuttered. He started to push past Jace saying, “Nothing. I'm going to make some coffee. That stuff is stronger than I thought.”
He didn't get very far when Jace caught his bicep, forcing him to swing back to face the consequences. “No, don't—don't do that. You love me?”
“Just forget it, okay? I didn't mean to say that. I'm tired and drunk and—”
“You didn't mean it? Or you didn't mean to say it?” When CJ's only response was to try to jerk out of his grip, Jace added low, “Don't play with me, man.”
CJ looked hurt but still couldn't seem to bring himself to make eye contact before trying to jerk away again. He was definitely stronger than Jace and it was no effort to free himself, so Jace did the only thing that he could think of to stop him from storming away and breaking the moment. With both hands, he reached out and grabbed CJ's jaw, drawing him down before he had a chance to wriggle away. He kissed him fiercely and with not an ounce of finesse.
CJ let out keening noise and tried to pull away before he gave in, wrapping his arms around Jace and pulling him close. Jace opened his mouth, letting CJ deepen the kiss, lost in the sensation of getting everything he'd ever wanted.
He'd dreamed about this moment often enough, alone in his bed thinking far too much about the fact that CJ was just across the hall alone in his. But in practice, kissing CJ was nothing like how he had imagined. Having him so close with making him euphoric. As often as they had brushed shoulders, or hugged, or slept with their arms wrapped around each other, nothing had ever been like this. CJ's lips were as soft as they looked, even though he was managing to devour Jace's mouth like he was a predator. He tasted like the booze they'd been drinking and garlic bread, and also weirdly like apricots for some reason. The way he moved his hands, his fingertips pressing into Jace's skin and carding up into his short hair, was making Jace's dick throb. But it definitely didn't help that Jace could feel CJ's interest rubbing up against his own.
Almost as suddenly as it has started, CJ pulled away, stepping back abruptly. Jace felt his heart plummet when he saw his expression of raw hurt. “What? What is it?”
They were both panting slightly, both red lipped and wild. CJ shook his head. “Don't.”
Jace started to feel panicked and reached out to him. “Don't, what? Love you back? 'Cause it's far too late for that.” When CJ only looked stupidly confused, Jace grabbed a handful of his shirt and shook him lightly. “I love you, stupid.”
CJ's mouth fell open. “Since when?”
A laugh blurted out of Jace before he could stop it. “Since the first day I saw you.” CJ shook his head, looking as if he couldn't believe what Jace was saying. “Too much? Okay, then since the first time you came out of the shower only wearing that stupid tiny towel you insist is big enough.” CJ looked like his head was trying to catch up and not doing a very good job. “No? All right, how about since the time you walked all the way across campus to bring me an umbrella in the pouring rain because I was too cheap to get a cab home? Or how about the time I was sick and you made me chicken soup from scratch that was so bad the stray dog down the street turned his nose up at it? Or the time—”
“You love me? For real?” Jace wasn't sure he'd ever heard CJ sound so vulnerable or look so serious.
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“Oh my god.” CJ covered his face with his hands, his chest heaving in a breath like he was about to start sobbing. “You mean, we could have been together for months already? Oh my god.”
Jace smiled and shook him again. “Looks like. You wanna waste some more time complaining or—” The way that CJ launched himself at Jace, he figured that was a no. A hard no, given the way CJ clung to him as if his life depended on it. He didn't grab or force; his mouth and tongue were gentle as they teased open Jace's lips and worked their way inside again. But his hands were shaking, his whole body taut as it pressed up against Jace, quivering as if he might shake apart if Jace let him go.
They kissed for a long time, hands running over the bodies they knew so well, but which they hadn't been allowed to touch for so long. Making up for lost time with three years of touches and unspoken I-love-yous, with every brush of fingertips along a jawline and every breath they shared between kisses.
When CJ tilted his head and started to kiss down the side of Jace's neck, even as the breath shuddered out of him, Jace's hands slid up from cupping his ass and began to pull the shirt from CJ's waistband. CJ didn't seem to mind, only breaking contact with Jace so they could both pull it over his head.
Jace's shirt and sweater quickly followed and joined CJ's in a heap on the floor somewhere. Jace didn't care whether or not he ever saw his clothes again when CJ started trailing his fingertips with a featherlight touch over his skin. Jace tipped his head back and moaned, his knees softening, and somehow, the next thing he knew he was on his back sprawled out on the rug, with CJ slipping his leg between his and kissing down his throat to his chest.
When CJ's husky voice grumbled, “Y'know….” Jace realized that they hadn't said a word in quite a while. Then he wished that was still the case when CJ continued between kisses, “Your nipples are kinda far apart.”