Nathanial had refused.
Although his heart still longed for Abigail, he clung almost stubbornly to that small sliver of pride he had left. He had demanded the return of his father’s ring, only to learn how deeply Abigail had betrayed him.
Shocked beyond anything he had ever thought possible, Nathanial had hardened his heart against her, now forced to face the humiliation of admitting his error in judgment to his brother. What would Zach think of him? No doubt, he’d be disappointed, and he had every right to be. Would he ever forgive him?
Nathanial could only hope that Zach would somehow manage to retrieve their father’s ring. If not, Nathanial knew he would never forgive himself. Not that he deserved forgiveness for his failure. But at least he’d learned his lesson.
Never would he dare trust a woman again.
Never.
Little did he know that near Kingston, Jamaica, his future wife was at this very moment on the brink of losing the only family she had left and would soon find her way to London, England…
…and to him.
Chapter One
From Boston to England
England, Summer 1813 (or a variation thereof)
More than a year later
England was a different place, but perhaps that was good.
The past year in Boston had been nothing but sheer torture for Nathanial. Everywhere he went he found himself reminded of a life shared with Abigail. Countless places whispered of her presence, and he could hardly turn a corner without seeing her face.
Mostly before his inner eye.
But every once in a while, their paths would cross for real. He would walk into a ballroom and find her blue eyes turning to meet his. He would see her smile at him from across the room, the look in her eyes whispering of the shame she, too, felt. How could she not?
Her life, too, had been turned upside down.
At first, the scandal surrounding her broken engagement had sent Abigail fleeing from Boston in the dead of night. She had retreated to the country, no doubt nursing her wounded pride, waiting for the gossip to subside. Nevertheless, when she had returned months later, hushed whispers and ill-concealed stares still continued to follow her wherever she went.
More than once, it had seemed that she wished to speak to him. But Nathanial had always evaded her, unable to look into those familiar blue eyes and remain steadfast in his resolve. He knew he was still weak as his heart went out to her whenever her face fell at overhearing the snide comments whispered too loudly for her to ignore. He wanted to comfort her, heal her wounds and assure her that all would be well again.
But it would be a lie.
Nothing would ever be the same again.
Her foolish decision had made certain of that.
It had doomed them both.
The carriage swayed slightly as it drew up a small slope, cutting through the English countryside. The sun shone brilliantly, and it seemed the whole world was in bloom. Different shades of green sparkled outside his window, mingling with deep violets, bright yellows and radiant blues. Nathanial could hear the soft trilling of birds nearby and spotted a few flitting across the sky before seeking refuge in a nearby tree.
Indeed, the world at large was a beautiful place.
Nathanial’s, however, was not.
Leaning out the window, Nathanial saw Pembroke Hall come into view. It was, indeed, a beautiful estate, and a part of him felt as though he already knew it well. After all, Zach had written countless letters to him about all the renovations he’d had done on the place after their late uncle had allowed it to fall into disrepair.
No doubt, it had been his brother’s way of trying to distract him.
Although Zach’s attempt had been in vain, Nathanial had been grateful.
As the carriage pulled up in front of the wide entrance, Nathanial made to disembark when he spotted his brother hurrying out the door. “Nathanial! Finally!” A large smile rested upon Zach’s face, and he moved with the agility of a man who’d conquered the world.
Although Nathanial was happy to see his brother after almost two years apart, he could tell that the smile upon his own face felt like no more than a bad imitation of his brother’s.
Being identical twins, they had always looked alike. In fact, only their parents had been able to tell them apart without difficulty. Now, however, Nathanial knew that would no longer be the case. Zach radiated happiness while he, Nathanial, did not.
It was as simple as that.
“Brother!” Zach pulled him into a bear hug, joyous laughter rumbling in his throat. “It’s been forever!”
Sighing, Nathanial returned his brother’s embrace, relieved to feel sparks of joy shoot through his useless heart. “It’s been too long.” For a moment, Nathanial closed his eyes and savored the embrace of someone who truly loved him.
Clapping him on the back, Zach took a step back, his blue eyes watchful. “You should have come sooner,” he remarked and although his smile never faltered, Nathanial could see the slight narrowing of his brother’s eyes. “How are you?”
Nathanial shrugged. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“Are you?” Zach pressed, and his hand on Nathanial’s shoulder tightened. “Quite frankly, you look miserable.”
Nathanial chuckled, a dark sound if ever there was one. “Charming as ever.”
“Truthful as ever,” Zach countered.
Nathanial nodded, only now appreciating the honesty and openness that had always existed between them. Indeed, it was something utterly rare!
Zach sighed, his eyes lingering on Nathanial’s in a most unsettling way. “Have you seen her…since?”
Nathanial shrugged. “It was not to be avoided.”
Zach frowned at his short, clipped reply. “You still love her.” It wasn’t a question.
That muscle in his jaw twitched as he gritted his teeth. “I’d prefer not to speak of it,” he replied without meeting his brother’s gaze. “If you don’t mind, I’d…” Nathanial knew not how to end that sentence. Fortunately, his brother knew him well.
“Of course,” Zach replied, once more clasping a companionable hand on Nathanial’s shoulder. “You must be weary from your long journey.” He paused and a hesitant grin snuck onto his face. “However, my wife is most eager to meet you. I’m afraid you’ll not get around making her acquaintance here and now.”
Nathanial almost cringed at the mention of his brother’s wife. Why, he could not say. Always had he seen himself as a family man, longing for marriage and family. Now, however, not only the world had changed.
But he himself had as well.
Still, there was no avoiding the inevitable, and so Nathanial nodded to his brother. “Lead the way.” Following Zach inside, he let his gaze sweep the large entry hall. Tall windows allowed for the sun to reach inside and light up the world within, creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere. The walls shone in vibrant colors, speaking to the adventurous character his brother had always possessed. As had his wife, if Zach’s letters were any indication.
“I’ve told her all about you,” Zach whispered with a smirk as he glanced at Nathanial over his shoulder. With quick steps, he moved toward a set of double doors. “She wanted to meet you right away, but decided to give us a moment alone together.”