I took a look at my brother, propped up in his hospital bed. Even in his weakness, he looked strong and self-assured. As if nothing could touch him. My jealousy twanged. Same DNA, but completely different realities. Frank looked pretty good for getting hit over the head with a shovel after, being hit with a beer bottle and fighting two beefy bouncers. Frank was particularly vain about his shiny black hair, which he kept at shoulder length. The nurses shaved his head in order to properly dress and clean his wounds. Infuriatingly, the buzz cut did not detract from his good looks. Even bald with a dozen bandages stuck to his head, Frank was still an Adonis Brainiac. And I was his loser brother that dressed up a few times a week to suck up to high society.
Jen’s tongue clicked against her teeth and her head shook. Was it pity or blame? Did she even see me? I’m probably like the furniture in this room, a necessary fixture in her bland day. There was a spark inside of her, visible and smoking. Being a nurse might be exciting to some, but it was certainly conventional. I can see you Jen. Show me what you’re hiding.
“Well everything looks good. Nice and clean. The plastic surgeon did a nice job on the sutures. I’ll come back to check on him in about thirty minutes. If he wakes up before I come back, give me a buzz.” She rolled up her sleeves and started to walk towards the door.
Now was the time to play confused. Make her stay. Draw attention to your suffering. I’m not a good actor, but I’ve gotten a lot of practice over the years. The sad reality is, despite the efforts we make to blend in, most of them are unnecessary. Most humans don’t pay attention to the world around them. “Wait, you mean he might wake up?” I tried to put an inflection in my voice of surprise. I knew that Frank was going to be fine. It was nearly impossible for a human to kill a shapeshifter, especially with their bare hands.
Jen stopped in her tracks and spun around. “Why would you think he wouldn’t?” She cleared her throat. Her face tensed with concern. Her gaze was powerful, unwavering. It was as if someone was shining a spotlight in my face. After a couple of seconds of stunned silence, I found the words to respond. Why was she confused? Did I say something wrong? Okay, time to improvise. “They told me he was in a medically induced coma. Doesn’t that mean that he’s going to be out for a while?”
“Did Dr. Burke tell you that?” She folded her arm against her side and jutted her hip out. Fuck. She wasn’t buying it. I was playing with fire. Please, please, let me see the sass every day. I will stoke her flames every day if she will let me. “I don’t remember who it was. Tall guy. Um, freckles. Ginger.” Would it be weird to ask her out? Ask. Say it. Blurt it out right now. I think you’re incredibly sexy. You are not going to get anywhere with her pretending to be clueless or concerned about your brother.
“Hm... Dr. Burke is the same height as me with olive skin and curly hair. He has a…distinct profile.” She brought her pointer finger up to her face and traced a large half circle. That is definitely not the doctor I spoke with. I didn’t expect her to know every single doctor in the hospital. “Who did I speak to?” This was not going well for me.
“We have a couple red-headed doctors, but not one of them is working tonight that I’m aware of...are you sure it wasn’t a nurse? We have a male red-headed nurse. Lots of guys assume he’s a doctor. You know, because he has a penis.”
Her face was chiseled with irritation. She was challenging me. Testing the waters. Great. Now she thinks I am a sexist jackass. Think. Say something witty. Funny. Let her know that you are the opposite of sexist. “When he shook my hand, he introduced himself as Frank’s doctor.” I think. Did he really? Or am I a sexist sack of hot air? Please believe me. Even though I’m half lying. I just want to get to know you better. Stay.
Her face softened. She managed a weak smile. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to accuse you of being a royal shit. Sometimes the guys around here like to present themselves as more important than they are. Lots of male nurses take more credit than they deserve. And lots of female doctors have to battle the assumption they are a nurse. Not that there's anything wrong with being a nurse.” Jen’s cheeks flushed a deep scarlet. “There’s a lot of underground politics in a hospital. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. My bedside manner game is weak today. It’s been a rough week.” Her words tumbled out, her hands moving frantically.
“Well, it doesn’t show. I’m curious about your politics.” I’ve heard wild stories coming out of hospitals. Swingers. Cheating. Drugs. And that was only the medical staff. She was far from the angelic nurse-on-a-pedestal, but there was an easy nature about her. Jen’s goodness radiated from within. She was quite worked up over this ginger fellow. Ex-boyfriend, perhaps? I scanned her face for more information. Who are you, really? We all have our public masks. What was behind hers? Although she was speaking as if I knew her, she might speak to all patient visitors this way. Her face was lit up. She broke into a large smile. Jen looked up towards the ceiling and clutched her face. “Tell that to my dark circles and fine lines.” She waved her hands over her face, as if there was something I couldn’t see. She had no idea how good my eyes actually were. I could see the fine blonde hairs on her skin, the pores on her nose, the beginnings of wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. And I was enthralled. She was perfect.
“You are luminous.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, her face darkened. Luminous? Was I a poet? Beautiful. Pretty. Cute. Sexy. Why couldn’t I have just said something, normal? My chest tightened and my neck grew hot. I’m going to be alone forever.
“Listen, I uh…it’s…” Jen stuttered and took a few steps backwards.
I bent down and covered my boiling face in my hands. “I’m sorry. I wish I could say that I’m usually not like this, but I don’t want to lie to you. My brain malfunctions around beauty.” Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse. What was my malfunction? The scuff of her heel against the waxed floors only added to the humiliation. She was backing away, trying to put as much space between us as possible. Her silence battered my ears like the roar of the ocean. You are never going to find a mate. Frank was right. The only chance you had at a mate was to share Frank’s, if he ever decided to wake the fuck up. Or Jared, if he ever decided to pick one.
“Thank you.” Jen whispered, barely audible.
Her voice was low enough that I wasn’t sure if I heard her correctly. I looked up to see her standing in the doorway, holding the door frame. Did she want to run away that badly? What was keeping her inside?
She chewed her lip and met my eyes for a second. Jen opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off.
“Jen! It’s time to turn Mrs. Delilah!” a gruff voice barked from the hallway.
Jen inhaled sharply. She hopped out into the hallway. I could hear her calling to someone.
“I’ll be right there!” Her voice was stretched thin, almost shrill. Her footsteps echoed down the hallway.
Beeps, clicks, and whirs from the hospital outside the door filled my ears. The quiet of her presence was gone. Well, it’s safe to say that you’ve successfully scared away the nurse. Next time, maybe you can pull your head out of your ass and say something interesting. Why was I the only brother that couldn’t get a girl? It was as if Wes and Jared were twins, not triplets. They were both brave, bold as hell, and chiseled. I’m two servings of French fries away from chubby. I took another look at Frank. In his paper-thin gown and unconscious, he looked ten years younger. When are you going to grow up Jared? We’re almost forty. I’m tired of cleaning up your messes. This is the last time. We’ve claimed enough territory. When will you be satisfied? How many times does Frank have to be in the hospital unconscious and bleeding? How many surgeries does he need to pull through? And how many times do I need to play the part of the concerned brother and handle anything suspicious or paperwork? The universe’s irony was not lost on me. I was the only one that wanted to choose a mate and settle down. And I was the only one who had a shot in hell at it.