“I may be an adult after today, but I’m still not old enough to drink,” she tells me when we sit.
She looks at me skeptically when two drinks are set down on the table without question. “Did you forget who I am?” I ask her.
“I’m pretty sure you’re the guy who had his finger in my cunt a little bit ago,” she says, making me choke on my drink.
“You can’t say shit like that,” I cough.
“Oh, but the look on your face makes it so worth it.” She smirks, taking a sip of her drink.
God help me with this woman.
Ruby and I met up with Dez once the show ended. The drive to her house was pretty silent, no one willing to broach the awkward subject of what happened earlier. And I was thankful that my loud-mouthed friend was able to keep quiet for once. At least until Ruby was out of the car.
“You are so fucked,” he chuckles as I watch her walk to the door, ignoring him for a few seconds longer. Once I see she’s safe inside, I turn and punch him across the face. “The fuck’s that for?!” he yells, rubbing his jaw that just took a hit.
“For touching her. For starting anything at all. For even thinking about her in any way other than platonically.”
“Fuck you, Sonny. She’s my been my best fuckin’ friend while you’ve been away. Don’t give me this shit. I never crossed that line with her. And tonight? I knew exactly what she was doin’, tryin’ to work both of us up more than we already were. She’s more of a teasing vixen than a pure innocent. The faster you realize that, the better. ‘Sides, you needed a push. I gave you one,” he says smugly.
With a snort, I say, “So, I’m learning.”
“Sorry I touched her, but at the same time, you gotta claim her or let her go. You can’t keep playin’ her like this. She’s gone through too much to get to where she is. She’s finally in a good place, and I don’t care who the fuck you are. I ain’t letting you ruin that.”
I can’t help but smile at his admission. As mad as I am for what happened earlier, for allowing it to happen, I’m glad that it’s also making us clear the air about where we both stand with our little Ruby Rose.
“I’m glad you were there for her while I was away,” I admit. “Dez, I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to her,” I add to my confession. Leaning back in my seat, I let out a sigh.
“You better figure it out soon,” he tells me, pulling back onto the road and driving us home.
We ride in silence to my place, where I tell him to just crash for the night since it’s late. I go straight for the bar in the den, pouring a glass of amber liquid, hoping it’ll help quell the thoughts in my head telling me how much I want Ruby. And how much I shouldn’t.
“Am I gonna get another smack to the face if I ask for a drink?” Dez asks from the doorway.
Without answering with words, I pour him a drink and walk it to him. “I’m so fucked,” I say with sigh, falling back onto the leather couch.
“I don’t get why you keep fightin’ it. ‘Specially now. She’s legal, and you don’t even acknowledge Harry anymore, so who gives a fuck?”
He gives good points, but there’s still this nagging feeling in my gut that tells me it’s not right and to back the fuck off. And I know exactly what part of my past it’s coming from.
“I don’t want to bring her into the life, Dez. It doesn’t matter how sassy her mouth is or how strong she is; she doesn’t deserve to live a life like my mother.”
“She wouldn’t,” he says simply. I give him a look like yeah, right before he continues. “You aren’t your old man, Sonny. You wouldn’t cast her aside and force her to live in a loveless marriage where she’s trapped and alone. That’s not you.”
Downing the rest of my drink, I stand and pour another. “But the secrets, the blood that will be on my hands… What if I go back to prison? I can’t do that to her again.”
“So, you do things different. Isn’t there some rule of spousal privilege or some shit like that for the secrets?”
With a surprised look, I say, “Look at you with the big words.”
“Fuck you, I’m being serious. That answers the secrets. As for the blood on your hands, that’s what your goons are for, unless you have to protect yourself, right?” I nod my head because he’s right, and I’m not a killer by nature. That is, unless someone tried to hurt someone I care about. “And if you go to prison again, I’ll be here. ‘Sides, conjugal visits.” He wags is eyebrows up and down. “Am I right, or am I right?”
I try to stay serious, but I can’t with my friend. Looking into my glass, I laugh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Of-fuckin’-course I am! Now, get your balls back and make her see that she belongs with you.”
Once I decided that Dez was right, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I just had to tell Ruby and convince her that we were made to be together. As much as I wanted to protect her from everything bad and the evil that lurked in my life, I couldn’t deny the need to have her hands on me.
I knew I’d devour her the first chance I got. Marking her. Claiming her. Convincing her that she was mine. Only mine.
Always had been and always would be.
But as convinced and determined as I was to do that, it had to wait. Business pulled me away, and this time I couldn’t ignore it. I told my father I was ready, sacrificed enough already, so now, it was time that I took my seat at the table and accepted my rightful place with the family.
I was getting tense and agitated the longer I had to wait before going to Ruby. I hadn’t talked to her since her birthday. On one hand, it was probably a good thing since she still had a few weeks until graduation. But on the other, I needed her.
Just her mere presence calmed me. It always had. Which was why she was the perfect woman to have by my side.
“Are you even listening?” my father yells, his hand slapping the table before us. Breaking out of my thoughts of Ruby, I meet his hardened gaze in challenge. “It’s important that you not only keep a good presence with the family but that the others don’t see you as weak.”
“I’m not weak. And I’m sure any weakness I may have had washed away when you sent me to prison.”
“What about that little girl you keep running to?” He asks about Ruby, instantly making my blood boil. “What about her? Is she your weakness?” he adds with a smarmy smile.
“She’s not a little girl, and she’s none of your fucking business.”
Chuckling, he says, “Well, your reaction just gave me my answer.”
To shut him up, I inform him, “I plan on making her my wife. It would bode well for you if you stopped making a mockery of her.”
His faces changes from one of amusement to one of shock and surprise. “Your wife? But you were promised to—”
“I’m breaking that promise and choosing my own wife. I may be part of this so-called family, but I am not going to live under the same rules you grew up with. This is one. I’ll do your bidding, I’ll sit beside you until it’s my time to be head, but I refuse to force a woman to marry me and live a miserable life.”