She’s broken and hurting, too. Today’s the first day back at school, and she’d rather face the sleet and the cold than walk fifty feet passed the gym, for fuck’s sake. I don’t even know how she’s mustered the strength to show up here today after all of the shit that’s gone down inside this school. She’s a fucking miracle, this girl. Remarkable, and so much stronger than anyone can possibly realize…
The icy wind blasts into me as I carefully tread through the frosted, brittle blades of grass, staying close to the building’s perimeter. Rolling my feet, heel-toe, heel-toe, heel-toe, I try not to make too much noise, but I don’t really need to worry. The snap and crunch of the undergrowth giving way beneath the soles of my boots is loud, but the low, mournful howl of the wind is louder.
Up head, Silver’s hair stirs, creating a halo of blonde and copper around her head as she turns the corner at the end of the building. One last look at her before she disappears inside the school. That’s all I really need. Somehow, that will be enough to sustain me until I can drive by her place later on tonight. Hurrying, I jog the remaining distance to the end of the brick wall, sucking in a breath and holding it in my lungs, as if that will somehow render me invisible. I’m two long strides away from turning the corner myself when I hear his voice.
“I didn’t mean to startle you. I should have called out or something…”
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.
Anger sizzles up my spine like a spark chasing along a fuse. He shouldn’t be here. He…he has no fucking right to be here. Approaching her like this…the bastard’s lost his fucking mind. My hands have already made fists. My feet move with a mind of their own, propelling me forward, urging me to run around the corner and make the fucker bleed for this outrageous intrusion, but…
Hush, Passarotto. Let him speak. Then you’ll know what he wants…and how to make him leave.
It goes against every scrap of sense I possess, but I manage to still myself, planting my feet into the frozen earth. Paralyzed, too afraid to move a millimeter in case I snap and lose all control, I lean against the wall, closing my eyes, straining to hear what’s being said against the rustling of the leaves.
I almost chip my teeth when my father starts to make excuses for his past behavior. I break the skin of my palms, fingernails gouging into my flesh, when he comments on how protective Silver is over me. Hot bile burns at the back of my throat he tries to worm his way into her good graces, asking for her help to get me on side. Pride and relief wash over me like a winter squall when she basically tells him to go fuck himself.
That’s my girl, Silver. That’s my girl.
The door to the building slams closed behind her when she goes, sealing her inside the light and the warmth of Raleigh High, and a deadly calm settles over me. The anger’s still there, but it isn’t the searing brand it was a moment ago. No, this is a different kind of anger altogether—the kind that cools to tempered steel and runs soul-deep, woven into the very fabric of a man’s being. I shove away from the wall, rounding the corner just as my father begins to walk away.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I growl.
He stops in his tracks, his head whipping in my direction. A calculating smile forms on his lips as he looks me up and down. “Well, well, well. The man himself. Didn’t think I was gonna see you today, son.”
“Bullshit. You know I’m enrolled here.”
He stifles a laugh, tipping his head back to look up at the stark, winter sky. “Yeah, well…you have to be enrolled somewhere. There’s a difference between being on the books and actually showing up, right? And us Morettis, we’re hardly the further education type, are we?”
He says ‘further education’ like it’s something to be embarrassed about—a dirty, shameful secret that guys like us would ever consider being associated with such a lame concept as learning.
“You don’t know shit, old man. Just because you were happy to remain ignorant the rest of your life, doesn’t mean the rest of us want that. You kept yourself stupid. And to what end? To look cool? Hate to burst your bubble, Giacomo, but flunking out of high school, not even bothering to get a GED? That’s not cool. That’s the dumbest thing a guy can do.”
He grimaces, his mouth pulling down at the corners. “I got plenty of money, kid. A solid roof over my head. Food in the cupboards—”
“That’s more than you left Mom with.”
He slowly blinks, visibly side-stepping the comment. “What did I need math and science and fucking theater class for, huh? It’s all fucking pointless. You’d do just fine if you turned around and walked out of this place right now. Waste of fucking time if you ask me.”
“No one did ask you, though, did they. No one’s asked you for anything at all. You’re the only one wasting your time. I’ll never forgive you for what you did. You could have hurt me all day long. You could have rejected me and Ben and I would have found a way to make my peace with it. Men like you have been disappointing their kids since the dawn of fucking time. But the way you hurt her? It was unforgiveable. She was convinced you were gonna come back, y’know. She used to talk to you all the time, like you were standing on the other side of the front door, about to come through it any fucking seco—”
“That’s because she was fucking crazy, Alessandro!” The words explode out of his mouth, echoing out across the dell, the deep cavern behind the school repeating them back to him like the report of a gunshot. Rooted to the spot, I stand perfectly still as he rushes toward me, jabbing a finger angrily into my face. “You have no idea what it was like, boy. She was unstable when we met but it was cute back then. Kinda exciting. You never knew what she was gonna do next. The unpredictability was fun. But when you were born, she…” He shakes his head, disgust carved deep into the planes of his face. “She lost her fucking mind, Alex. And not in a fun way. She tried to stab me, for fuck’s sake. How’s a guy supposed to handle a bitch when she’s fucking certifiable like that?”
“If you refer to my mother as bitch again, I will personally see to it that you never eat solid food again.” There’s an electrical storm building in my chest, and any second I’ll crack open and unleash it upon him.
Jack holds out his hands in a placating gesture. “Alex. This is exactly why I came to see your girl first. I hoped she’d help you see that I didn’t come here to cause problems. That all I wanted was to build a relationship between us finally, after way too many years—”
I lunge forward, slamming my hands into his chest. “Where were you when they locked me and Benny in that group home, huh?” A current of fury bristles just beneath the surface of my skin. “Where were you when I got kicked out of my first foster home?” I push him again, grinding my teeth together. “Or the second?” He does a good job of standing his ground, but when I push him again, he loses his footing, slipping in the rotten snow. “What about the third home, Jack? Did you know the guy in my third home wouldn’t let me wear underwear? He used to strip me fucking naked and lock me in a dog crate in the garage. He thought it was funny to piss on me through the bars when he came drunk every other night.”