“I do,” Brian said, taking another swallow of the whiskey. He did want her back. No matter how many times she pushed him away, he still couldn’t stay away from her. But a man had his pride. He couldn’t keep going back, could he? “She’s, um, Piper Holloway. You know her?”
“I know of her. Dang boy, she’s pretty sophisticated and out of your league.”
“I’m a high-paid, highly respected lawyer, Leon. I’ve got some polish,” Brian reminded his friend.
“I know, but Piper has something else. She just seems more metropolitan. But as you pointed out, so are you. So it’s not that. What is it that’s keeping you two apart?”
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell him what she’d said but he knew better than to share that with another living soul. She’d claimed she was afraid to lose herself in him. But why? Had he been too forceful, too domineering? And how could she lose herself in him when she’d been hiding her true self from the world?
“She says we are too different, that we want different things from life,” he said at last.
“And all you want is one with her,” Leon murmured.
“Exactly. I’m fucked,” Brian said.
Eleven
Ava was gone when Piper woke up in the morning and she contemplated going back to Dallas. Her sister was going to be okay and Piper had realized overnight that she would be too, eventually. What had always worked in the past when she’d ended a relationship was to pour herself back into her art.
She had a commission for a client in New York who missed Texas and wanted something that reminded her of her home state. Piper pulled out her sketchbook, but her mind was empty. No matter how she tried to come at the work, she couldn’t think of anything. So she just started sketching because sometimes moving her pencil over the paper sparked ideas. She liked the sound of the scratching and started simply, with just a face. Then, over time, she made the jaw a little bit stronger before drawing crossed lines to place the eyes and the nose.
The eyes she drew were wide-set and the nose a sharp blade that reminded her very much of Brian’s. She pushed that thought aside, let go of her conscious thoughts and just sketched. It wasn’t long until the image took shape, and more than the nose looked like Brian. It was Brian.
She’d drawn him as he’d looked when she told him she couldn’t have kids. And it would be easy to tell herself that the look on his face had been disgust, but it had been a shock and, of course, being Brian, empathetic, as well. He’d been ticked at her, but more because she’d misjudged him.
Tossing the sketchbook aside, she stood up to pace to the window that looked over the backyard. She saw that her sister hadn’t left the property but was sitting on a bench in the backyard. By herself.
This was it, she thought. This was what the Holloway women had come to. Two lonely women who had lost on love. Ava when Trent died and when she’d trusted the wrong man, and Piper...well, she’d lost because after Ron she’d never been able to trust any man. She’d never let herself love again because she was afraid to be hurt again.
This time, though, she was pretty damn sure she’d hurt Brian. Badly. She could justify it ten ways to Sunday and tell herself that he’d get over it—get over her—and find someone closer to his own age. But would she?
Could she move on from pushing away the only man she’d fallen in love with? She knew better than to believe that it would be easy. But Brian was gone. There was no way he’d come back after what she’d said to him, and really, how could she rebuild his broken trust when hers was still tattered and in pieces?
She’d have to let down her guard, really just start being herself and be comfortable in her own skin. Was that even possible? She wasn’t too sure.
Piper could only feel safe thinking about trusting him because he had left and that had been final. She sank to the floor and drew her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead on them. This. This was why she wasn’t the wise goddess she projected at the gallery. She was still broken from something that had happened in her twenties, and like someone who hadn’t had their wound properly attended to, she had learned to live with that fractured part of herself.
And while she had pretended that being broken didn’t really matter, and that she was fine, deep down she wasn’t. She hadn’t been since her engagement had ended...until Brian danced with her at Harley and Grant’s reception. He’d swept her off her feet, starting a cascade of change inside of her, but she’d just kept putting rocks back in the dam to keep it in place. And she’d succeeded in driving him away.
This time for good.
She was safe. No one could hurt her. Alone. Again. By her own design.
“Ugh!” she yelled, getting up from the floor.
She was making herself angry with all the whining she was doing mentally. If she wanted Brian back in her life then, by God, she’d get him. If that meant convincing him that she’d made a mistake—admittedly that was going to be the hardest part, but she could do it.
He was worth it.
Wasn’t he?
Ava had pointed out that Brian wasn’t Keith any more than Ava and Piper were the same. He was a good man who’d worked hard all of his life and he was kind and funny. Sexy as hell.
She’d never find another man like him again, she thought.
Never.
That had to be enough to get her out the door. Piper turned and saw her reflection in the mirror. She looked as if she hadn’t had a shower in days, and the fine lines she’d been trying to hide with retinol were visible this morning. She looked like a woman who’d given up.
A woman who’d forgotten who she was. She was that wise goddess. Piper knew it. She’d worked hard to get where she was in life and to surround herself with good friends and family she loved very much.
There was no reason Brian couldn’t be a part of that. She had to deal with any lingering doubts that Ava and the rest of the family had, but then she was going to find a way to try again with Brian.
She winked at herself in the mirror. Feeling loads better now that she’d decided on action. Action was better than wallowing any day.
She showered and put on makeup and her favorite outfit of skinny jeans and a funky sweater before going to find Ava. Her sister was on the phone and that was fine with Piper. She had already made her peace with her choice and she had the insight that only people who were unsure had to rush.
Once you were solid in the knowledge of what you wanted, time didn’t matter. She would take as long as she had to in order to win Brian back.
Uncle Keith was in an odd mood when Brian arrived for dinner. But he was glad to see him. The big house was empty except for this housekeeper who’d served dinner, but then she left too. Keith poured them both a Jack and Coke pretty hard throughout the meal.