“Then why the fuck is she still enrolled in school?” I asked. I hadn’t been there for her like I’d promised. I hadn’t been there to protect her. I was dropping out. I was never fucking going back.
Zane kept his head down, until he looked up at me and met my eyes. I felt my stomach fucking plummet. I knew, of course. Or I’d guessed it was because of me. Zane didn’t have to say fuck all about it. He knew that, deep down, I’d known. “She doesn’t trust anyone. Go near anyone. Talks to hardly anyone…”
But me.
My heart fucking raced. I had to push the image of her panicking from my mind, of her being fucking restrained by Phebe for her own safety. I just couldn’t see that shit right now. I couldn’t deal with any of this shit. Why was everyone so fucked up? Why had everything gone to shit?
Clearing my throat, I said, “Well she ain’t got to worry about it anymore. I’m not going back.” I felt Zane’s eyes boring into me. I turned to him. “I’m gonna apprentice with Tank, at the bike shop. He already agreed.” I was so fucking over school. What was the point of even going? Surrounded by a bunch of rich pricks, who knew nothing of living a hard fucking life. A bunch of cunts, who judged us on belonging to Hades. They could all eat shit. I didn’t even have enough credits to graduate at this point and I wasn’t repeating the year. Not a fucking chance. “She’ll be better at home. Tell her she never has to go back. I’m fucking out.” Before Zane said anything, I got up at went out the back of the barn to take a piss.
“Baby Flame!” Rudge emerged from behind a tree. When he walked toward me, I saw a club slut pulling down her dress behind him. She walked past. He ignored her. “Just got my dick sucked. Is there anything greater in life than that! Well apart from fucking pussy, obviously. Or maybe fucking a peach of an arse while the bitch screams, losing her fucking mind.”
Rudge sought out a tree stump nearby and bent down. Reaching into his cut, he pulled out a packet and poured some white powder onto the stump. He cut it into lines with a razor blade from his cut and snorted the coke with rolled up paper he happened to have in his pocket. “Whew! Fucking snow! My fucking best friend in the world!” He sniffed, rubbing his nostril with his hand and I saw his eyes fucking light up as the drug hit him. He handed me the rolled paper. “Want some?”
I wanted to get this fucking shit from my head. I wanted the people I’d killed to stop haunting me. Wanted Slash to stop haunting me, blaming me for his death. I wanted Flame to be okay. Wanted Saffie to stop breaking the fuck down, because she was trying to do good by me. She needn’t bother. I was fucking damned, there was no redemption.
“Yeah,” I said, and took the rolled-up paper out of his hand. Rudge cut the coke into lines for me and I snorted. The moment it hit me; numbness spread like wildfire throughout my body. All my pain and the agony plaguing my mind disappeared. Finally, I felt was fucking free. I closed my eyes and felt nothing. Sweet. Fuck. All. I’d never felt this fucking good in my entire life.
“Fucking good snow, eh mate?” Rudge said, smiling wide. I opened my eyes. “Here.” He handed me the packet. “Take it.” He also gave me the blade and rolled paper. “I got more where that came from.” He nodded to the packet. “You need more, I got you. That’s grade ‘A’ fucking cocaine, my friend. My dealer is the shit.”
“Thanks,” I said, and just breathed in fucking fresh air. My lungs had never breathed so good. No pain. No tight throat. Just sweet fucking air.
“So, baby Flame, what’s your preference?” Rudge asked. I frowned in confusion. What the fuck was he talking about? “You like sticking your wick in the pussy or arse of a club slut?” I shrugged my shoulders, too busy loving the ability to breathe right, to not be thinking about anything but this sweet fucking feeling rushing through my blood. Suddenly, Rudge got in my face and shouted, “No. Fucking. Way!” He grabbed my arms. “Mate, please tell me right fucking now that you’re not a virgin, that your dick has at least been sucked or wanked off. That you’ve t-bagged the shit out of some whore’s mouth?” My silence told him everything. Rudge slapped my cheeks with his palms. “Then pull it the fuck together, baby Flame. Tonight you’re handing in your V card. I’m gonna find you the filthiest, dirtiest slut to ride your pole all the fucking way to come-dump heaven.”
Rudge grabbed the back of my neck and pushed me into the barn. “Brothers, did you know we have a fucking virgin in our midst!”
“Rudge, keep the fucking volume down,” Tank shouted and shook his head.
“Fuck you, arsehole. I’m gonna get our Lil’ Ash here a tight pussy to fill.” I laughed, the sound ringing strangely in my ears. But it felt good. It fucking felt good to laugh. “You, in the red dress, get the fuck over here.” A bitch with long blond hair came over on Rudge’s command. I fucking froze as she ran her hand up my chest.
My dick hardened by the second. She had long blond hair. If I strained my eyes enough, she looked just like… “Saff,” I murmured. My voice sounded fucking weird as it spilled from my mouth. “Is that Saffie?”
“Laura,” the slut said in my ear. She bit my earlobe. “But I can be anyone you want me to be, gorgeous.”
“Full works, sweetheart,” Rudge ordered. “And wrap him up first. Don’t know where you’ve been pushing that rancid pussy.” She put her hand in mine and headed for the door. Her hand felt nice in mine. I liked someone holding my hand.
Zane jumped in my path. “Ash.” He looked to the slut, then back at me. “You don’t have to do this. Think about it.” He stepped closer to me, ignoring the slut running her hands through his hair. “You don’t want her. You want someone else and we both fucking know it. Don’t fuck that up. Not for club pussy. You do this, there’s no fucking coming back from it. It’ll crush her. You know who I mean.” Saffie’s face burst into my mind. Zane stared at me, trying to make me change my mind. My stomach started feeling strange as I thought of Saffie. But I wasn’t any good for her. I ruined everything. I wouldn’t ruin her too.
Pushing past Zane, the slut led me to the forest. I stumbled on the grass, whiskey running thick in my blood. I glanced down at her hand. Everything was blurred. I caught sight of long blond hair… Saffie? Was this Saffie? No. That’s why Zane had tried to stop me. But Saffie was too good for me. This was a club slut. I deserved a club slut.
The slut pushed on my chest and my back slammed against a tree. The slut’s hand pulled open my zipper and she dropped to her knees. “Damn, honey. You’re hung.” My eyes rolled back when her mouth quickly wrapped around my cock. My hand pushed into her hair. I looked down. Blond hair. Long blond hair. Saffie. Saffie… My mind blurred, yet all I felt was Saffie around my cock. I groaned, my balls aching. But she pulled away before I could come.
My knees gave out and my ass slammed to the ground. Saffie just climbed on top. “Get ready, kid. You’re about to have the best ride of your life.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I spat. She didn’t sound like Saffie when she spoke. I didn’t like her voice. When she was quiet, with that blond hair she was Saffie. Then she sank down on my cock and my head flung back. “Fuck!” I hissed when she started moving up and down. My balls tightened as she scraped her nails along my chest. It should have hurt because of the stitches, but I felt nothing, nothing but Saffie’s pussy choking my cock. My balls tightened and I felt heat rush up my thighs. Saffie started moaning above me, her big tits falling out of her dress. I gripped them, palming them on my hands.