For a while, as I make myself a cup of tea, I think about him and his vague sense of mystery. It would make me feel more uneasy, but he is a police officer, and even though the spell I did suggests he’s hiding something, my intuition suggests I can trust him. Can I trust my intuition, though? I’m not sure.
Realizing I’m going around in circles, I decide I’m not going to worry about him anymore, and I settle myself at the dining table with a box of coloring pencils and pens, and pull my new Book of Shadows toward me.
It’s beautiful. I run a finger over the pentacle in the middle, and the ivy that winds around it. Then I open the cover. The blank page stares back at me, full of promise.
A Book of Shadows means different things to different witches. Some use it as a diary, to record their thoughts and the spells they’ve done that day, so they can see how much they’ve progressed through the year. That was what my last one was like, the one I lost in the water. I didn’t write in it every day, but I filled it with girlish pictures and thoughts, musings about Jude, and university life. I’m sorry to have lost it, but I’m ready to create a more formal document.
This is going to be a reference journal. I spend some time drafting a list on scrap paper of the kind of headings I want in the book. The journal is divided at approximately every twenty pages with a colored page and a tab to enable the user to find separate sections easily. Spells is an obvious section—I’ll need to speak to Charlie, because I know she has her own reference book on the spells she’s written, and I can copy out the ones I think I’ll use the most, as well as invent some of my own.
I nibble my pen as I think about the other sections. Herbs. Tarot—again, I’ll talk to Samantha about that. Other divination methods, including runes, and crystal balls and mirrors for scrying. The sabbats—the witch’s festivals. Crystals. That can go next to herbs because we use both when doing spells. Chakras, because I know they’re connected to channeling energy and healing. The God and Goddess, because I want to do more research on deities.
I continue writing down everything I can think of until I have a long list, and then I put them in order and begin writing the names of the sections on the tabs. After that, I create a front page—Persephone Hart’s Book of Shadows, and spend some time adding some drawings of herbs and crystals around it, and then coloring it in. When I was younger, I thought coloring and drawing pictures was just for fun, but now I understand more about colors and how they’re associated with the elements, and about symbols and their meanings, so I’m able to fill the page with more meaning.
When I’m done, I sit back and look at it with pleasure. I’ve gone over my name and the words Book of Shadows with black pen, and I’ve done rather a good job of it, if I say so myself. I feel excited, filled with enthusiasm about my renewed interest in the Craft. I’m going to really work hard at it.
Kimi has told us about the center that she and her husband, Damien, run, called the Crux. It’s a large house in the Devon countryside, kind of like a retreat, where witches and shamans can go and live for a while to learn the deeper mysteries about our Craft. She told us—Tia, Samantha, Charlie, and I—that we are always welcome to go there. Tia, Charlie, and I have been too busy and too caught up in our ‘normal’ lives to think about going. Samantha has been once or twice, although she says she prefers working with us at the Crows.
I could go, though, if I get to the point where I feel more confident about my abilities and wish to develop them. Both Kimi and Damien teach there. I’d like to know more about my powers. Especially if it’s possible we’re being hunted.
At one, I realize Mum will be on her way home, so I take the journal and my pencils upstairs, freshen up, and return to the kitchen to make us both a salad for lunch. I’ve just finished preparing it when she comes in. We sit at the dining table and she chats to me about her morning while we eat. I don’t mention anything about Tia or my conversation with Simon, but I do talk about the car insurance. Then I finally tell her I’ve given up my job.
“Oh, Persy,” she says, managing to convey several tons of disappointment in those two words. “Really?”
“It’s not what I want to do, Mum,” I tell her earnestly. “I spent three years taking a degree. I did so well in getting a first, and I want to do something with it. And now I’m not with Jude, it’s my chance to find a job related to archaeology. I’ve already had an interview with a field unit here.”
“Oh?”
I tell her all about it, and by the end she’s somewhat placated. But she does say, “Don’t tell your father yet, eh? Not until you hear you’ve got another job. He’s always going on about the state of the job market at the moment, and he’ll only talk your ear off about it given half the chance.”
Oh good, more secrets. I agree, though. I don’t want to risk getting an earful at the moment.
After we’ve eaten, I help her with some housework and do some washing, then go for a walk. I feel at a bit of a loose end. It’s nice to feel as if I’m on holiday, but I do miss working. I still tire easily, though, and when I finally curl up in the armchair, I doze for a while and wake a little more refreshed.
Just before five, I ask Mum if I can borrow the car, and head out.
It only takes me ten minutes to get to Kimi’s house. Ella, Samantha, and Charlie’s cars are already there. Kimi opens the door before I knock, and I give her a fierce hug.
“Goodness,” she says. “What’s this for?”
“I just want you to know how much I appreciate you, that’s all.” I let her go with a smile.
“Aw, I appreciate you too.” She smiles back. “Come in. They’re out in the conservatory.”
I go through the house to the conservatory out the back. It’s not snowing at the moment, and there’s a clear view across the moors, covered in a white blanket.
They’re sipping mugs of tea, talking, but they come over as I walk in and give me one-armed hugs.
“How did the date go?” Charlie asks me.
“Good, mostly.” I tell them about the wolf prints.
“Goddess,” Ella exclaims. “How awful.”
“What’s going on?” Samantha says as Kimi joins us and closes the door. “Are the Crows really being hunted?”
“Possibly.” Kimi doesn’t pull any punches. She goes over to the kettle in the corner and makes me a cup of tea. “Here, Persy. To ground you.”
I know she’s picked up that I feel all at sea at the moment. I’m excited at the thought of doing a spell, and at finding Tia, but nervous too.
I take the tea and sit on a cushion, and the others pull cushions close and sit with me, so we form a square.
“I’ll cast the circle in a minute,” Kimi says, “but first, I just wanted to go over what we’re doing here. We’re going to try a location spell.” She reaches behind her, brings forward a map of Devon, and spreads it out between us. “As I’m sure you know, it’s not easy to connect with another person’s energy from a distance.”
I study my hands as I think about how I attempted to enter Mac’s memory palace without his permission. I still can’t believe I did that. How did I do it? It felt easy at the time.