Each person shifts in their seat when I fall silent. I give it a moment before I nod when nobody leaves. A few of the old members are still here, and they seem focused on me, but half the board my father had in place has stepped down. Those who wanted me to allow them to take over. Thankfully, those who are seated around the table have chosen to be here.
“Now, without further ado, I have brand new contracts set up, with terms I’m sure you’ll find beneficial. If there are questions or concerns, I trust you will contact me. Once you’ve signed, I will make a public announcement of the new board, and we will then meet to talk about any concerns regarding Mercer Industries.”
One man, Philip Gordon, who was here when my dad was lifts his hand and I give him a nod to speak. “What about your time spent at the office? We know you’re still racing. Or is that something you’ve given up?”
“I would like to continue, but that is something I will look at once I’ve spoken to Mr. Donavan. I can assure you, whatever my decision on that topic, I will be here when I’m needed. Mercer Industries is my legacy, and I’m not about to let it slip through my fingers.”
I mean not only for the company, but my promise is for Haelee as well.
22
Haelee
My chest aches. My heart feels splintered. I’ve never had my heart broken, but the first man I give it to took it and looked after it. It was my choice to walk away because his legacy means more than a relationship that might not work. At least, that’s what I’ve convinced myself of.
Kayden was everything I wanted. Knowing each other for four long weeks, going on a few dates, but nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of agony that sliced through my chest when I saw his face crumple.
I’ve kept my distance. I haven’t answered his calls, because I need him to do what he needs to for his father’s company. Even though deep down I know his mother was trying to hurt me, and I’m nothing like my own mother, Mrs. Mercer hit me where it hurts.
The memory of what his mother said hits me as I stand under the hot spray of the shower.
“You’re going to be nothing to him if you force him to choose between you and the legacy his father left him.”
She was right. He would always regret losing the company because of me, and I couldn’t live with myself if he did. He’s better off without me, running the company his father built from the ground up.
But it doesn’t stop the pain that slices through me. It doesn’t mend my heart at all. Those tiny cracks only seem to get bigger with every passing day. Two days, forty-eight hours, and I can’t remember how many fucking minutes, but there are far too many.
“You’re not good enough for my son. The daughter of a junkie whore. You’ll only end up like her.”
The words cut deep. They slice and stab at my strength, and I slide to the floor as I allow my tears to disappear in the spray of the water that hits me with a vengeance.
She knew about me. She knew everything. About where I’m from. About my birth mother and the past. And she even knew my birth mother was dead. The sneer she graced me with was nothing short of evil.
Thankfully, Mom wasn’t here to see her. But I’ve hidden away in my room and haven’t faced the woman who adopted me and gave me a life I never thought I could have.
And all those doubts that plagued me for years, that I’m not good enough, take hold and refresh themselves in my mind. They remind me that I’m nothing but a charity case. As much as I attempt to fight off those thoughts, I can’t stop them from replaying in my mind in a constant loop.
I’m not sure how long I sit on the tiles, but when the taps shut off suddenly and a towel appears, I glance up through wet lashes to find Mom standing over me.
“You’re getting out of there now, and you’re coming down to talk to me,” she informs me with a tone so hard, so rigid, it causes me to shiver. I’ve seen her angry a few times while growing up, but this is something else. I’m afraid I’m in deep trouble, so I quickly scoot up, and I take the offered towel.
“I-I—”
“Get dried and dressed,” Mom says. “We have to talk.” Without waiting for me, she spins on her heel and leaves me in the bathroom, shivering. I quickly wrap myself in the towel and race into my bedroom to get some clothes on. I have a feeling I’m in for it now.
When I reach the living room, Mom is sitting on the couch. I join her, settling on the soft cushions, crossing my legs, and taking her in. “I’m sorry you saw that.”
“I know what happened,” she admits.
“What?” Snapping my gaze to her, I watch as she lifts her head and observes me for a long moment. “How did you—”
“I got a call from Kayden. He told me you don’t want to speak to him,” she states slowly. “I think you should give him a chance to explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain, Mom,” I insist, trying to stop the whine from escaping my lips. “His mom told me everything. If he’s with anyone outside his social circle, he could lose his father’s company. And that’s something I couldn’t live with.”
“Did he tell you that, Haelee? Did he agree with his mother?” Mom poses two questions I can’t respond to because when I think about it, I realize I pushed him out without so much as giving him a chance to say anything.
“No, Mom,” I finally answer, knowing she’s going to be disappointed in the way I’ve conducted myself. But in my defense, the thought of Kayden losing his dad’s company was scary. I couldn’t let that happen.
“What did she say to you?” Mom asks, her gaze locked on my face, taking in my expression. That’s something she could always do, gauge my emotions by simply looking at me.
“She told me I’m not good enough for her son. That one day, I’d turn out just like my junkie whore mother.” She flinches at the words. One thing about Mom is that I’ve hardly ever heard her cursing, but I want her to know the exact phrase Kayden’s mother used. Even though I have fought all my life not to be like my birth mother, the fear I may end up just like that is something I’ve lived with daily.
“If that’s something you believe, then I’m sad.” Mom’s words have my attention snapping to hers. “You’ve come so far. I understand you’re nervous. Genetics is something we can’t understand, but already, you’re not like her. You have an education you’re going to put to use and a passion that will gift you a career for as long as you want it.”
“I know all that, Mom,” I agree. “I can’t stop the fear from taking hold of me, though. It’s not something that I can just put at the back of my mind and forget.”
She nods. “No, it’s not, but you need to look at the life you have now. You need to believe in the present, not the past. If you spend too much time focusing on what’s behind you, how can you see what’s right in front of you?”
Silence hangs in the air for a long while as I consider her words. I know she’s right. I know it down to my inner core, and I need to do as she says. My mom has always offered the best advice, and she’s definitely more understanding than I thought she’d be.