“Head onto the straight. I want to see how you handle the turns,” Kayden orders gruffly, and I have to grip the steering wheel tighter to keep from twisting around and slapping him.
Focusing on the asphalt ahead, I make my way down the straight, picking up speed, enjoying the feel of the pedals underfoot, and the way the car feels as if it’s flying. When I reach the left bend, I gear down, but I fuck it up with my shaking hand, and I curse myself.
“Slow. You need to focus on your footwork while your hand is gearing down,” Kayden says coolly, but there’s a hint of amusement in his tone. Yesterday when I raced him, I didn’t make this mistake. He knows it because if I did, he would’ve been able to overtake me.
My stomach churns with embarrassment and anxiety. I move through the corner and onto a shorter straight but speed up before gearing down smoothly. He doesn’t say anything about it, which only frustrates me more.
I take the second bend, which is short, sharp, and the moment I lose focus is when Kayden clears his throat as he glares at his phone screen. My body burns with rage at the fact that he’s not even paying attention. The loud ding of a message coming through on his cell makes my blood boil over, and I bring the vehicle to a quick stop on the shoulder.
Killing the engine, I pin a glare on him as he looks up from the glowing screen. “What?”
“You’re such a fucking asshole!” I push open the door because I need air. I have to get away from him before I lose my cool. No man has ever had fury shooting through me as much as he does.
“What the fuck is your problem?” he bites out, rounding the front of the car and practically pinning me to the vehicle. His large, looming frame makes me shiver when he leans over and looks down at me. He’s taller. I only come up to his chest, and when I tip my head back, those luminous eyes practically glow when he regards me.
“You. You’re my problem. You have no respect for me. You clearly hate or resent me. Why the fuck didn’t you ask Colton to give me another trainer? I would happily take anyone else.” My words make him flinch, and he pushes away from me. The cool air that now surrounds me makes me miss his warmth, but the moment the thought enters my head, I push it away.
“Hate? That’s a futile emotion, speedy,” Kayden tells me. “Those innocent eyes of yours seem to hold the hostility of a thousand fucking engines. I don’t deal well with petulant teenagers.” His remark, along with the satisfied smirk on his face, has lava roiling in my veins. I want nothing more than to hurt him too, but I can’t. I don’t know enough about him to even start an argument. “And don’t throw respect at me. That’s earned on the track. When you show me you can handle your ride,” he informs me, his gaze trickling up and down my body before locking on my gaze. “Then you’ll have my respect.”
“If you don’t want to do this, then fucking leave. I can learn myself,” I bite out, opening the car door and sliding into the seat. But he’s beside me in seconds, and I’m once more trapped in the front of the vehicle with him.
No matter how angry I am, just the scent of him makes me shiver with want. I hate my stupid hormones. They’re taking over, and I don’t want them to. I want to wish them away, but I know it’s no use. The only way I’m going to get over this useless crush is to ignore it.
“With every race, it gets more difficult,” Kayden speaks once we’re back on the track. “With every car you sit in, with every podium you stand on, the pressure only becomes more unbearable.”
I don’t know if he wants me to respond. He doesn’t seem to be looking at me, so I keep my mouth shut. I take the turns and bends perfectly. But I know my time is lacking. I’m too slow. Coming out onto a straight means I need to speed up sooner. That’s something I knew I needed to work on before I got to try out here.
We do three laps, four laps, then I don’t know how many more before I find myself getting tired. I lose count how many times I’ve seen the same scenery, and I realize it’s time to go home.
Fighting with Kayden but still wanting him has exhausted me. I could drive all night, all the way through to the next morning, but beside him, it’s difficult.
Kayden doesn’t speak all the way through the session, and I wonder if he’s given up on me. I don’t know why, but the thought of him doing that makes my chest tight.
When we finally pull back into the garage, Kayden turns to me. “Never underestimate your opponent. They can draw out your worst fears, your deepest anguish. When you’re in the public eye, they know everything there is to know about you.”
“You know nothing about me because I’m a nobody.”
“Yes, you’re right.” He nods. “You are a nobody, but someday, when your name is up in lights, remember what I said. Boys, men, they’ll always attack you in this business because not all of them are like Colton Donavan.”
“Why? Because they’re like you?” The wince on his expression is enough, and I push open the door with a shaky hand and exit the vehicle before he can respond, leaving Kayden inside. I’m right, though. He didn’t deny it.
By the time I reach Colton’s office again, almost two hours have passed. When I stop to say goodbye, he looks up at me, standing on the threshold. His gaze holds questions, but he doesn’t ask them.
“Thank you for today,” I tell him. My voice sounds sad as if I’ve finally given up. I haven’t, at least that’s what I tell myself, but right now, all I can think about is lying in a bubble bath and not thinking about the man with the endless teal eyes.
But I know it’s a lie because nothing can remove Kayden Mercer from my mind.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Colton sounds hopeful. Perhaps he realizes putting me with his newest driver was a mistake, or maybe he put us together for another reason he hasn’t yet told us about.
“Yes. Goodnight,” I say before heading out to my car. In the driver’s seat, I suddenly burst into tears. It’s stupid. I can’t explain it. As if I need more heartache in my life, the thought of Kayden not liking me hurts me so much more than I thought it would.
So much more than I thought I could handle.
And that’s when I realize I’m utterly and truly fucked.
6
Kayden
I need to get out tonight. I pull on the black leather jacket and look at myself in the mirror. Grabbing my wallet and phone, I head out the door, shutting it behind me before stepping into the elevator, which takes me down to the garage.
After my afternoon with the sexy little speedster, I decide I need some time out. Drinks and women. That’s what I know will get me in the right frame of mind to forget about Haelee. Even her fucking name sends heat down my spine.
When I told Curtis I found the girl with the pink bikini, he didn’t believe me. I had to explain how and where, and then he finally realized I wasn’t fucking joking. It took my patience, but now that he knows how I feel about her, how she affects me, the fucker won’t let me forget it.
I’m in the car on the road, but my mind replays the track, replays every moment with her. The scent of her perfume—cinnamon and spice—and the flavor of her anger. I tasted it, and I want more. When I leaned over her, when I took her in, I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk away from this.