“Marissa, you were twenty-two when Jordan was born.”
“Twenty-one. I graduated early.”
“You’re a smart lady,” I tell her, wishing like hell her brains were around to help this situation.
I wouldn’t have blown several lives to kingdom come.
There’s a long silence.
I’m about to excuse myself so I can go home and call the attorney. Marissa’s custody agreement should help us get Jordan back to Chicago. Then when I get off the phone, I can resume drowning myself in scotch because I’ve lost the best thing in my life.
I stand. “I’m going to call the attorney and—”
“Wait. Don’t go yet.”
“Okay.” I sit again.
“I just wanted to say thank you.”
I’m shocked. This woman has been in a coma for weeks, woke up to find I’ve lost her only son, and she’s thanking me? What the fuck?
“What for?”
She starts laughing and stops a few seconds later.
“Don’t make me laugh again, Magnus. It hurts.”
“Sorry? I don’t understand.”
“Thank you for taking care of Jordan and bringing him to see me. I know you guys were here almost every day. I’ll never forget it.”
I cock my head, unsure what she means.
“Jordan’s my little brother. I was happy to help. I’ve told you that ever since the day I found out he existed, and what my father did to you. It’s rough being an only child. And just between you and me...I always wanted a kid brother.” I smile.
Of course, I never expected said brother to come from my dad’s disgusting affair with his intern, but I’m being honest.
Even if J-man curses me for the rest of his life, I’ll never regret the time we had.
“How did you know we were here every day? The nurses told you?”
“Oh, I could hear you. I thought I was dreaming, at first, but once the staff convinced me I’m in the hospital and this isn’t a dream...I knew it was real. I missed some things, I think. I had a hard time hearing everything and it was hard to follow your voices. But I knew Jordan was here. I heard your voice and a woman’s. She was here a lot too. Did you finally get married?”
God. That’s like a punch to the gut. I wish.
The light in Marissa’s eyes kills me. Just like it leaves no doubt she heard us wishing her well in her coma.
And did I really talk to Brina like she was my wife? I must be even more fucked in the head than I thought.
“No,” I say slowly. “Not quite.”
“So she’s your girlfriend, then?” Marissa looks up with these hopeful eyes.
“She was my assistant,” I whisper, my throat so dry.
“Oh, wow. I was sure you were together. You seemed too perfect. It was almost like you were co-parenting Jordan. He sounded like he liked her too. He liked her a lot. I could tell.”
I laugh because it’s the only thing I can do not to feel shredded. “You got all that from our visits, while you were in a coma? Damn, you’re good.”
“Funny thing about being stuck in bed—you get a lot of time to think, and you guys were my only entertainment except the gossipy nurses...” Her smile is all warmth, and it makes me fucking abhor what my father did to her.
“Brina and I weren’t perfect together. We couldn’t have been.”
Though I’ll admit it made me wonder...what would having a kid of my own be like? What would it be like with her?
“You couldn’t be perfect because she’s your secretary?”
No, because she dumped me.
“She’s not interested,” I say.
“I seriously thought she was with you. Her voice usually came from the same place as yours. I even thought I heard you kiss a couple times. Maybe I was dreaming.”
“You thought we were perfect because we stood close together?” I stare at the floor, remembering one or two occasions when I stole a quick peck, usually when she was trying to coax Jordan away for the night and being so sweet about it.
“She just always seemed to know...when you needed space and when you needed her,” Marissa says with a weary smile.
Damn it all. We should be talking about Jordan.
Still, I wonder.
If Sabrina was perfect for me, was I ever perfect for her?
“Forgive me, I think we’d better move on bringing Jordan home. I’ll call the attorney about your custody agreement.” I stand, heading for the door.
“Magnus?” she calls after me.
“Yes?”
“Am I seeing things or are there a couple of strawberries on your collar? I need to know for the doctors.”
I look down, holding in a growl.
Sure enough, there’s a shameful strawberry hiding under my collar and another tucked under my lapel. I pick them out and trash them. “It’s strawberries. Good eye.”
She laughs and then winces. “Oww! I’ve got to stop doing that. I just asked because they told me I need to let them know if I see anything funny.”
I have no idea what to say to that.
“Um, why are you walking around with strawberries on a three-piece suit?” she asks.
“My former assistant’s roommate pied me,” I grumble, immune to her knowing the truth at this point.
“Pied you? Oh my God. What did you do?”
“I left. What could I do?”
“No, I mean, what did you do to deserve a pie attack?”
“I—I upset her.”
“The roommate or the assistant?”
“Both. It’s a long story.”
Technically, not that long. Either we were really together and I was foolish enough to throw it all away or I had a fling with my employee.
No, it wasn’t a fling, and I know it.
I’d die for that woman.
And I’d rather die a thousand deaths than ever be the reason Baxter Heron and other filthy old men talk shit about her.
“You took care of Jordan while I was here...now I want to help you,” Marissa whispers. “She loves you. It’s that obvious even to a woman in a coma. Don’t give up on her, you hear me?”
I nod, stunned that I’m taking advice from this lady who’s barely conscious. I’m even more amazed she’s able to deliver it so poignantly.
“If you have to take two or three more pies to the face, do it. Fight for her. I think she’s worth it. I realize I don’t know her and don’t know you that well. But she came to the hospital with you every day and did everything she could to take care of your little brother. That doesn’t sound like an assistant. That sounds like someone who loves you. And whatever you did—people forgive almost anything for the ones they love.”
“She blocked my number,” I tell her for some unholy reason.
Why? Her issues vastly outweigh mine.
“Because. If she’s really important to you, you’ll find a way, Magnus.”
I leave then, telling her I’ll talk to her later. When I get to the parking lot, Armstrong is there in my town car waiting.
Marissa’s words echo in my head.
You’ll find a way.
“Armstrong, honest question...do you think Brina and I were good together?”
“Your personal life’s none of my concern, boss.”