“That look on your face says liking her isn’t the full extent of your feelings.”
He pulled off his boots and set them aside, then stretched out his legs. “I suppose I should say you were right when you said I needed to send away for her.”
She grinned. “I’m always right, Caleb. A mother knows these things.”
They shared a laugh before he leaned back and stared into the fire.
“So, what happens now?”
A barrage of things filled his mind but one outshined the rest. “Now, I do what I should have done the moment she arrived.” The corner of his mouth tilted into a half smile. “I’m going to marry her.”
Rebecca leaned against the door with her heart pounding so hard, it was a wonder everyone in the house didn’t hear it.
She grinned before sighing.
Her first kiss had been everything she’d thought it would be. Well, almost. It had been sloppy, and she knew she hadn’t done it very well but Caleb hadn’t seemed to mind. His enthusiasm chased away any doubt she had that he wouldn’t want an inexperienced girl.
If she thought about it hard enough, she could still feel his arms around her. Still smell his shaving tonic. The scent lingered on her skin and she wanted to roll in it so she’d never forget what it smelled like and she knew without a doubt the feel of his body against her own was branded into her soul.
She sighed again, then chuckled. “You’re acting like those silly girls you always made fun of for getting all doe-eyed over some man.”
Pushing away from the door, she hurried to the bed to pull her boots off. Shoving a pair of socks into the toes of them made them easier to walk in but her foot still slid back and forth with every step and she’d worn more than one blister on the bottom of her feet because of it.
Rebecca continued to undress, moaning in pleasure when she loosened the corset strings. She knew why those ladies in Charleston always looked so snotty now. It wasn’t disdain she saw on their face—it was pain.
Slipping on her sleeping gown, she sat to take her hair down. Kissing Caleb flashed back into her mind. It had been impulsive on her part but seeing Hazel standing so close to her, knowing she could ruin everything, made her rash behavior necessary. Now, she was glad she’d done it.
The kisses she’d shared with the boys back at the orphanage were a pale imitation to the way Caleb had kissed her. Her lips still tingled, and she wasn’t sure her heart would ever stop racing.
A soft knock on the door drew her from her musing. It opened a moment later, Amanda sticking her head into the room. “Is it okay for me to come in?”
“Of course.” She removed the last of the pins in her hair and grabbed her brush. “All ready for bed?” Amanda had changed into her sleeping gown and a pair of thick wool socks.
“Yes. I just wanted to come say goodnight first.”
Amanda had told her goodnight every evening since she’d arrived but not once had she come inside her room to do so. The only reason she could think of now as to why she changed her routine was the kiss the girl had witnessed between her and her father.
She hung by the door, an uncertain expression on her face. “Is there something else you wanted, Amanda?”
The girl shrugged her shoulder before looking at her feet and running a toe over the floorboards. Rebecca said nothing. Whatever was on Amanda’s mind would come out eventually so she waited, the minutes ticking by before the girl lifted her head.
“Are you going to stay and marry my Pa?” When Rebecca didn’t reply right away, Amanda blurted, “I know your letter said you wanted to wait until the new year to decide.” She shrugged her shoulders again. “But I figured you wouldn’t be kissing my Pa if you didn’t like him a little.” She straightened and that uncertain expression washed over her face again. “You do, don’t you? Like my Pa, I mean.”
Like him? Yes. She liked him. More than liked him to be honest, which scared her like nothing else ever had because once he found out what a miserable liar she was, he was going to break her heart into so many pieces she’d never be whole again and it would be her own fault.
But she didn’t tell Amanda that. She smiled at the girl and nodded. “Yes, I like your father. I like him very much.” She looked away and ran the brush through her hair. Staring at such an innocent face when nearly everything she’d told this family about her was a lie made it difficult to look at her.
Amanda ran across the room and threw her arms around her neck and squeezed. “I’m so happy!” she squealed. “I knew you’d be my forever momma once you got to know my Pa better.” She straightened with a beaming smile on her face. “Are you going to wait until the new year now? Or do you want to get married sooner?” Her eyes widened. “You could get married at Christmas! Flint Carroll married Ginger at the town Christmas party a few years back.” She grinned so big the skin around her eyes wrinkled. “I bet everyone would love that. Plus, it would mean Pa would have to go this year. He never goes to the party. He just sends me along with the Johnsons and tells me to have fun.”
Amanda’s excitement spilled out and in a matter of minutes, the girl was forming wedding plans. Rebecca watched her pace the floor as Amanda listed all the things they’d need to do between now and then but not once did she mention getting Caleb’s approval. What if he changed his mind about marrying her?
That kiss he gave you said he hasn’t.
She smiled to herself and finished brushing her hair. She had started that kiss but Caleb had certainly taken control of it.
Amanda’s plans for a Christmas wedding sounded wonderful to her but she couldn’t shake that nagging feeling that something was going to go wrong before it ever happened. She needed to find that letter Diana Hale sent to Caleb, or she'd end up doing or saying something wrong and the lies would catch up with her and ruin everything. Caleb would hate her when he found out she’d deceived him.
Her heart ached at the thought, the happiness she’d felt a moment ago gone in an instant. How could she marry Caleb knowing every second of their marriage would be based on a lie?
But how did she tell him the truth without losing him?
Chapter 11
“Pa, we’ve decided you and Diana are going to get married at the town Christmas party.”
Rebecca choked on her coffee. She cleared her throat and set her mug down, her gaze flicking to Caleb. He was staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face and if she wouldn’t have looked ridiculous, she would have crawled under the table and hid.
Caleb was the first to recover and shifted in his seat. “Is that right?”
“Yes.” Amanda beamed at him. “We talked it all over last night and it's decided.”
“We who?”
“Me and Diana.”
Amanda went into great detail about her plans, telling him what she’d decided the night before. The memory of the girl pacing her room filled her mind’s eye. Amanda had laid out all her plans and Rebecca had listened and nodded and agreed to whatever the girl said. It hurt nothing to let her talk about it but Rebecca had no idea Amanda was going to blurt it out over breakfast. Then again, Amanda did things her own way and was outspoken about everything. Why would she not tell Caleb what she’d decided and expect them all to go along with it?