“Reece and Seph are practically married. Of course he’s not out living it up and making it rain.”
“And what makes you think I’d be doing that?”
She shrugged.
I pulled up to the front of the house. “You think I’m going to turn into a different person? This isn’t my chance to transform into some Grade A asshole. I’m digging my parents out from under their bills, helping Quinn with college. That’s what it means for me.”
“I forgot. You’re the saint and I’m the jerk.” She grabbed the handle.
I jammed my finger into the door lock button. “Why would you say that? You saved my dad’s life, stop trying to pretend anyone thinks you’re a jerk.”
Her shoulders stiffened. “Let me out.”
“No, we’re going to talk.”
She flicked the button and I hit mine again.
“Are you holding me prisoner?”
“Hardly.”
“I’m the one who should be upset. You weren’t even listening when I asked you about Italy.”
“I’m sorry. I screwed up. I was…distracted. Now tell me why you don’t think I should be upset about you leaving for two years.”
“All I’m doing is leaving first.” She jerked the handle and flung the door open, slamming it shut, abandoning me in the slowly-fading glow of the overhead light.
After graduation we were supposed to have all the time in the world. After graduation we were supposed to finally have our chance. But after graduation she was running to Europe and ready to say goodbye.
10
Marisa
The crowd at Archer’s was heavy for a Tuesday night. Techno Tuesday came with $2 rail drinks and music loud enough to drown out most conversations until the happy hour ended at nine. After dinner at Ron’s last week, I’d successfully avoided LJ. It helped that I’d only had to do it for three days, and I’d taken a tutoring session on Thursday instead of our traditional movie night. After that, he’d been gone from Friday morning until yesterday afternoon.
But I wasn’t here to drink. I was here to dance and hang out with Liv. I’d had enough experience to know that drinking to dull the pain or numb myself would lead to a shitstorm of epic proportions. It didn’t mean I never drank. But never alone, never enough to get more than a little tipsy, and never to escape what was happening in my life.
She tapped out a message on her phone and slipped it back into her bra. “Ford says he’ll stop by after he’s finished at the rink.”
“Awesome, we can party all night.”
“Are you sure you want to be here tonight?” Liv shouted in my ear and took a sip of her drink.
“Why wouldn’t I want to be here?” I threw my arms up over my head and jumped around to the music.
“Because you look like you’re trying so hard to have fun.”
“I’m having fun. I’ve got my water. I’ve got great music. I’ve got my best friend.” I flung my arm around her and tugged her close and planted a kiss on her cheek.
“Now I know something’s wrong. What the hell did LJ do to piss you off?”
“Why do you think this has anything to do with him?” I laughed at her out-of-nowhere question. I hadn’t talked about him the whole night.
“Because you haven’t mentioned him once. Not the first three games of the season. Not what movie you watched on Thursday. Not something he’s done to annoy you.”
Dammit. Did I really talk about him that much? Stupid LJ. “So what?”
“And you just called me your best friend.”
“You are.”
She leveled her gaze at me like a disappointed coach. “Plus, he and Keyton got here about twenty minutes ago and he hasn’t come over here and jumped onto your back or anything, but he’s checked you out at least fifty times.”
I whipped around, putting ballerina Liv to shame—well, probably not even close, but a girl could dream. Good thing I hadn’t had a sip of booze or I’d have had the spins for the rest of the night.
Sure enough, the two of them were at the bar. Of course, they were gaining the attention of more than one of the groups of women over there.
In full T-Rex mode, I made it to LJ and leaned my back against the bar, resting my elbow beside his beer. “What are you doing here, LJ?”
Liv popped up beside me.
He whirled around like a contestant in a beauty competition with big, Barbie eyes. “Marisa? What are you doing here? We had no idea you were here.” He slapped the back of his hand against Keyton’s shoulder. “Did you know Marisa was here?”
Keyton shook his head and sipped his beer, evading my gaze.
“You had no idea I was here? Cut the crap.”
“I can’t go out?” LJ clinked a beer with Keyton who looked uncomfortably bored. “Archer’s is the closest bar to the house with good music, why wouldn’t we come here? It’s not like I decided to come because I knew you were here.”
Least convincing acting ever. Almost as bad as our seventh-grade class performance of Peter Pan. “Then why’d Liv say you were watching me?”
“What? Me? Never. I maybe saw someone out on the dance floor who maybe looked like you and squinted a few times to see if maybe it was you, but I couldn’t tell with all the spinning and arm flailing. Just here to have a beer and hang out with my roomie. Right, Keyton?”
I lasered in on Keyton, who set his beer down without looking my way. “Yup, just like he said.”
“Fine, as long as you’re not in watchdog mode, I’m going to go have some more fun with my bestie. Let’s go, Liv.”
Linking my arm through hers, I turned us back toward the dance floor.
“That was cold.” She checked over her shoulder. “He looks like you just told him there’s no Santa.”
A rumble of regret raced through me. “Don’t take his side. I sat down for a heart-to-heart with him about the next two years of my life and apparently he was running through football plays in his head. And then he made me second guess the whole thing while I was sitting in front of Ron. He’s supposed to be there as part of my united front.”
The sea of people on the dance floor was more of a pond, so it wasn’t like I could avoid seeing LJ.
“Shouldn’t you be the least bit happy he’s worried or sad you’re planning on leaving?”
“Why is he so shocked? He’s leaving at the end of this year. Am I supposed to stay behind as the girl pining—waiting around for him to call me or throw me a few free tickets for his next game?” I wasn’t going to be the pathetic person chasing after him, vying for a crumb of his attention when he’d moved on. I’d seen my mom go on that path over the years with guys whose faces I couldn’t even remember, let alone their names, and all it led to was her crawling deep inside a bottle.
“No, but…” Her gaze drifted to where the two of them sat at the bar.
I followed it and LJ snapped forward. “It hurts to think about losing my best friend.” All the convincing, all the preparation, all the reminders wouldn’t lessen that hurt.