“You have to stop letting dudes clown you all the time,” Javon says to me but keeps his eyes on the kids. “You too gullible.”
I nod then shrug. “I guess. But it’s good to trust people sometimes, right?” Nobody trusted Javon—that’s how he got popped in the first place. Nobody trusted me when I told them Nic was missing and didn’t just run off. I didn’t trust Bowie enough to let him in my business. But Riley trusted me. Look at how that turned out.
“I should’ve trusted you,” I continue. “I should’ve believed you no matter how much Hunter got in my ear. But I treated you like how everyone treated you. How everyone treats people who look like us and live where we live. And for that, I’m sorry.” I’m not just gaming Javon. I actually mean it. After leaving my family at the hospital, I tried to remember the last time I saw Javon’s people, and I couldn’t. Don’t even remember Nic mentioning them. It hits me even more sitting next to him: the only reason I didn’t become Javon is because I had a MiMi. A Nic. A Man Boo. A Riley. Hell, a village. I glance over at Javon. He’s so still, so steady, that I can’t tell if he fell asleep with his eyes open.
Finally, he nods toward Lil Chuck and them. “Remember what it was like to be that age?” he asks. “All carefree and laughing all the time. Not worried about what others thought about you. Back then, everyone’s your friend until they don’t share their snack cake with you or some shit. And you can be anything you want to be, you know?”
I give a slight nod. I grew up a little too fast after what happened to my parents, but MiMi tried her best to keep me and Nic young.
“I miss that feeling, yo.” Javon looks over at me. “I’m going back to community college. Turning my business over to Slim and Quan.”
The breeze from under the trees just about knocks me over. “You trust those clowns?” I ask.
Javon snickers. “They’ve been doing it long enough to know the game. But it won’t be my problem anymore. I have enough bread saved up. I’m gonna tell them to find a new spot. Get up out of the Ducts. Those kids deserve better.” He nods over at Lil Chuck then sighs. “How’s Nic?”
“She’s good. She’s getting out of the hospital today, actually.” I pause. “You coming by to see her?”
Javon tilts his head, like he’s really considering his options. “Nah. That’s not a good look anymore, you feel me?” He glances at me again like he wants to make sure I do. “What you said to me . . . in my car the other night? I get it. It’s not Nic’s job to make me feel like a king. I need to handle my own shit.” His eyes squeeze closed for a few seconds, like the thought of letting Nic go causes him physical pain.
I get it, too. I feel the same way about Riley. That’s why I’m going to try to be a better person. Take care of my own things so she doesn’t feel like she has to do it for me, but she wants to because she loves me. Javon and I continue to watch the kids play football. They laugh as one of the kids fumbles the ball and Javon joins in. I can get used to this lighter Javon. Even though he won’t be around Nic much anymore, maybe I can check in on him sometimes to make sure he’s still floating in a good way. The kids keep laughing and it’s contagious. Their laughter so sweet it should be the theme song to the Ducts.
Thirty-One
NIC AND I WALK THROUGH THE HALLS OF YOUNGS MILL HIGH. Of course, heads swivel in our direction. A few polite waves are thrown at Nic, followed by curious whispers.
“I wonder how long this is going to go on,” I mutter.
Nic waves at a classmate and smiles. “I mean, it’s not every day that someone rises from the dead. I’d be nosy too.” We reach her locker and she looks at me. “Don’t you have your own class to get ready for?”
“I’m making sure you’re straight.”
“You don’t have to babysit me, Jay. I’m fine. Much rather be back in school than cooped up in my bedroom or a hospital.” She pauses as she grabs a book. “Wow, it’s been a long time since I said the words ‘rather be in school’ together.”
I laugh. “I’m sure that’ll grow old soon.”
Nic frowns. Not a frown like she’s pissed or anything—more like she’s had a moment to think about something. “You know, I don’t think it will. I mean, yeah. I’m sure I’ll complain about getting up early or writing an essay that I’ll forget about a week later. But there were times over the last few weeks that I thought I’d never see you, or MiMi, or even Principal Gilbert.” She laughs at that. “Every night in that basement, I kept praying to God that if He got me out of there, I would do everything better. I’d take advantage of every moment I had. He did His part, so I got to do mine.”
I smile at her, impressed. “You getting all biblical on me?”
“Bruh, I’m going to start spitting verses at you on the regular now.”
We both laugh as Sterling timidly walks over to us. She gives Nic a tiny wave as Nic’s laughter dies.
“Hey, girl,” Sterling says, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I wanted to come visit you in the hospital, but . . .” Her voice dies out. Nic and I stare at her, waiting for her to continue. Not letting her off the hook. “So anyways, you look great.”
Nic nods at Sterling. “Same to you.”
Sterling raises her eyebrows, her face all filled with confidence. “You want to leave campus during lunch? Maybe hit up Tropical Smoothie like old times?”
“I’m eating lunch with my school counselor,” Nic says.
“Oh.” Sterling blinks. “Well, maybe we can catch up over the weekend. You could stay the night. We could call that lady from the mobile spa over and get our toes done.”
Nic sighs. “I have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on. My nights and weekends are going to be booked. Probably for a long, long time. Maybe even for the remainder of the school year.”
I stifle a laugh. Sterling looks over at me and I start clearing my throat. Even hit my chest to get up more imaginary phlegm.
“I’ll just catch you whenever then.” Sterling gives another wave to Nic, then scurries down the hall, her head hanging low.
I look over at Nic and raise my eyebrows at her.
“‘Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.’ Isaiah . . .” Nicole pauses. I wave my hand at her, try to get her to conjure up the chapter. “Look, I just recently turned a new leaf, okay? It’ll come to me later.” She closes her locker and playfully pushes my shoulder. “No stalking me today. I’ll see you this afternoon.”
I give her a salute to show I’ll follow her orders. But I still watch as she walks down the hall, make sure she remembers the way to her first class. Our conversation hangs in the air over me. About doing better. About taking advantage of every opportunity. Youngs Mill may not be the best school, but at least there were people here that wanted to see me do my best. Like Mrs. Chung. Or Mr. Booker. Hell, Mr. Branch even gave me his home email address in case I needed to bump gums about more than matrices.
I head toward the main office and the person I’m looking for stands at her hall duty post near the entrance, reminding students to take off their hats and pull up their pants.