DJ’s tears made me pause. I was that person. I’d made him cry. And why? Because I was pissed I was stuck on this ship and was determined to make everyone as miserable as I was? I felt like a prick, but instead of apologizing like a normal human being, I lashed out. I wanted him to fight me. I wanted DJ to feel as angry as I felt. “Give me time and I’ll change your mind.”
DJ ignored my comment, refusing to take the bait. “If you and Jenny and I work together, we can learn how to fly Qriosity. We can stop the ship from jumping around. We can go home.” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “But only if we all work together.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Please leave me alone.”
I could tell DJ was still sitting beside me, but he was quiet for a few moments. I wondered what was going through his mind. Finally, he said, “You’re not the only one missing folks, Noa. Jenny’s got family she cares about. And I… I had someone too. Someone I cared about. I wish he was here instead of you, but he’s not.”
Of all the things DJ had said, that one hurt. But it’s not like I didn’t deserve it. If our positions had been reversed, I wouldn’t have wanted me around either.
The couch groaned as DJ stood. “When you were drifting in space, thinking you were gonna die, you made me promise not to leave you alone, and I didn’t.” DJ’s voice was soft. His anger gone. “And now I’m asking the same of you. Please don’t leave me alone, Noa. This ship needs you. I need you.”
The door opened and then closed again. The projector powered back on, and the episode I’d been watching resumed right where it had cut off.
TWO
IT TOOK AN HOUR STANDING in the shower, letting the near-scalding water run over my head, to wash away the stink of despair that followed me around like a toxic cloud.
Nothing had changed. We had still been abducted and dumped on a spaceship we didn’t know how to operate, we were still lost, and I was still salty about it. DJ would probably believe it was his little talk that convinced me to clean up, but it was actually a scene from Murder Your Darlings. Anastasia had been upset because the exchange student she’d had a crush on had been murdered, and she didn’t want to go to the Valentine’s Day dance alone. The advice Mrs. Darling had given Anastasia reminded me of something my mom had said to me after Grant Choi broke up with me in seventh grade.
“What do life and a large sausage and mushroom pizza have in common?” she’d asked.
“They’re both a little oily?”
“You can’t finish either if you quit when things get rough.”
“Is this your way of telling me you ordered pizza for dinner?”
My mom grinned in the way she did when I was being a smart-ass. “Yes, but also that life goes on. Don’t let it go on without you, Noa.”
My mom might have been thousands of light-years away, but she was still with me. She would always be with me, and I took comfort in that.
I scrubbed and washed and rinsed. I brushed and flossed a week’s worth of Nutreesh gunk from between my teeth, shaved my patchy stubble, and tamed my wavy hair. Feeling somewhat more human, I raided the crew storage containers—which, thankfully, someone had unlocked—for clean underwear, a pair of jeans that mostly fit, and a hoodie. I planned to incinerate Nico’s onesie at the first opportunity.
DJ was sitting at the table when I strolled into the galley. He couldn’t hide his surprise, but he kept his mouth shut. Jenny stood behind the counter, trying to cook. Her hair was piled on her head in a messy bun, and her face and clothes were smudged with flour.
“Out,” I said.
“I was making—”
“A mess.” I pointed to the table and didn’t budge until she removed her apron, handed it to me, and left. I wasn’t sure what Jenny had been making, but I had everything I needed to whip up some pancakes.
DJ and Jenny whispered amongst themselves while I cooked. I didn’t know what they were discussing, though I imagined it was me. I was jealous of the bond that they’d seemingly formed while I was hiding in the rec room. I’d wasted a week getting to know Anastasia Darling when I could have been getting to know the people I was probably going to spend the rest of my life with. It was enough to make me consider running back to my quarters and never leaving again. But I didn’t. I stayed and finished cooking.
When I was done, I carried a plate stacked with soft, fluffy pancakes to the table and set it down in the center.
“Dig in.” I caught DJ’s eye and added, “I’ll bake your cake later.”
“You don’t have—”
“You’re not the only one who keeps his promises, DJ.”
Jenny hardly waited a second before grabbing a couple of pancakes. Then, to my horror, she unwrapped a Nutreesh bar and crumbled it on top before covering the whole mess with syrup. I might’ve puked in my mouth a little.
“These are delicious, Noa,” DJ said.
I shrugged. “They’re adequate. I’ll be able to do more when I’ve had a look inside that Freshie thing.”
“Everything’s fresher in a Freshie,” Jenny sang. When she caught me and DJ staring at her, she said, “What? It says that every time you walk inside. Every. Single. Time. It’s stuck in my head now and forever.”
We didn’t talk while we ate. The only noises were the scraping of forks and the happy sounds Jenny made each time she took a bite. There was a kind of normality to the meal that was relaxing until reality reminded me that we were on a spaceship.
“Seeing as we’re all together,” I said, “I guess we should discuss what happens next.”
“Then we’re not going to talk about how you spent a week stewing in your own sweat and depression?” Jenny asked.
“Not if you want me to continue cooking,” I replied.
“Hey now,” she said. “I’m the reason you’ve got clean clothes to wear.”
“You cracked the locks on the crew storage containers?”
Jenny beamed. “It wasn’t even that hard.”
“Clearly, you two have been busy.”
DJ quickly said, “Well, we were trying to learn what we could about Qriosity, though we weren’t going to do anything without discussing it with you first.”
“Definitely not,” Jenny added with her mouth full.
I understood that I’d made an ass of myself, and DJ and Jenny were tiptoeing around to make sure they didn’t set me off again, but I was embarrassed enough as it was and just wanted to skip past the awkwardness.
“It’s fine,” I said. “Did you learn anything?”
DJ set his fork down and pushed his plate aside. “Here’s where we stand: communications work, but there’s no one out there. Someone, somewhere, might get our messages eventually, but since Qriosity only sticks around one place for nineteen hours—”
“It’s useless to us,” I finished.
DJ nodded reluctantly.
“Sorry about it,” Jenny muttered.
“We also found a small shuttle that looks like it was designed for short-range travel,” DJ said.
I snorted. “Too bad we don’t have a pilot on board.”