My eyes fill with tears and I press my fingers over my mouth, stifling a sob. This is tearing him apart.
‘Our phobias haven’t come true, Danny,’ I say softly. ‘Jefferson fell off a cliff but the other stuff – the snake, the spiders, the fire, the message, the blood. None of it happened. Meg’s not making our phobias come true. You’re not well, Danny. The things you saw are all in your head.’
Chapter 34
DANNY
It all began on the second night on the island. He was drunk, stumbling away from camp, feeling the warmth of the sea breeze on his skin as he neared the boat. The others were asleep, knocked out by the vodka and rum; most of them in the shelter and Jessie curled up on the sand, a safe distance from the fire. Even Anuman was flat out on his back, mouth open and snoring softly. But Danny couldn’t sleep. Honor’s voice was on a loop in his head.
‘I’m going back tomorrow. I don’t want to be here.’
He didn’t want her to go back to the hotel where she’d shut herself off from him with a book or avoid him completely. There was no way they’d sort out the issues in their relationship if she did that. They needed to do it on the island, where there were no distractions and where they could fall asleep in each other’s arms at night and wake up to the sunrise each morning. They could walk hand in hand down to the beach or swim in the waterfall pool. The island was Danny’s best chance of getting Honor to fall back in love with him again. If she left he’d never get the opportunity to put things right.
The idea to cut the engine starter cord had come to him in a flash – quite literally – as he sat alone at the fire and drained the last of the vodka. But it wasn’t the tiny sparkling flames that lit up the darkness that had caught his attention, it was the glint of the knife lying on top of Jefferson’s rucksack. Danny couldn’t see the boat in the distance but he knew it was there, bobbing around on the sea, taunting him, reminding him that tomorrow it would carry Honor away from him. Anger bubbled in his belly. It wasn’t fair, not when he was fighting so hard to save their relationship. He reached for the knife and stood up, swaying slightly as he fought to keep his balance. He hadn’t been able to stop his mum from leaving him but he could stop Honor.
Less than five minutes later the starter cord was severed, the pull handle lobbed far out to sea. He woke up the next day, foggy and confused. His head hurt and everyone was moaning about being hungover. It wasn’t until he saw the empty vodka bottle in the sand that he remembered what he’d done. By cutting the starter cord on the boat not only had he forced Honor, and everyone else, to remain on the island, but he’d pretty much single-handedly destroyed Anuman’s livelihood. He’d pay for the starter cord to be fixed, he told himself. He’d borrow some money from Honor’s mum and pay her back when they returned to the UK.
Only Anuman never discovered what he’d done to his boat. He died and Meg discovered that the starter cord had gone. Danny couldn’t admit what he’d done, not then as they panicked about getting Anuman help and not later when the reality of their situation sunk in. He could never, ever, tell any of them what he’d done. They’ll never forgive him. And he doesn’t blame them. He doesn’t forgive himself.
Honor. He glances at his girlfriend, crouched at Jefferson’s feet like a frightened child. She looks at him, only for a split second, but it’s long enough for him to register the fear in her eyes.
How has his life gone so horribly wrong? He was happy once, wasn’t he? He had a girlfriend who loved him and friends who laughed at his jokes. When he clambered into Anuman’s boat six days ago did they sail into a nightmare? Is the island a dark force that will destroy them all? Or is he dreaming? Is that what this island is – a dark, twisted fragment of his imagination where all his worst fears come true? But if it’s a nightmare why can’t he wake up? He’s already jumped off a cliff. Nothing happened. Is it hell? Did the boat sink when it left the harbour and his bloated rotting body is floating out to sea? Because it feels like hell, with his pounding heart and his bleeding feet and the grotesque twisted faces swimming in and out of his mind.
He clutches his head, stumbling forward now, not running, as a lightning bolt of pain tears through his head. His eyeballs burn behind his screwed shut lids and he feels as though he is flying and twisting, turning and landing and there’s the pain again. And the voice, the voice he’s spent so long trying to push out of his head.
Danny! Danny! Oh God! No! No! Danny! Danny! Hold on!
He sinks to his knees, his hands over his ears but he can still hear it, his mum’s ear-splitting scream.
Chapter 35
JESSIE
As Danny drops to the ground Milo rushes forward and gathers Meg into his arms. He half carries, half pulls her back to the safety of the edge of the jungle. At the same time Jefferson scoops Honor up and, lifting her over his shoulder, carries her back to the trees.
‘Jessie!’ he shouts. ‘Come on!’
But I don’t follow.
‘Jess!’ Milo’s yell follows Jefferson’s. ‘It’s not safe.’
He continues to shout after me as I walk slowly across the clearing towards Danny, still crouched low beside the cave, one hand pressed to the side of his head, the other clutching the flaming torch. His eyes follow me as I duck down to pick up the knife and throw it behind me, but no emotion registers on his face. He stares at me blankly – not afraid, not curious, not relieved, nothing. It’s as though he’s looking straight through me.
‘Danny?’
He flinches at the mention of his name but he doesn’t speak. He just keeps on staring.
‘Danny, I want to help you.’
I glance over my shoulder, to check on the others. Jefferson’s set Honor back on the ground and she and Meg are clinging to each other and sobbing. Jefferson and Milo are watching me, their hands clenched at their sides.
‘Danny,’ I say again. ‘Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. Let me help you.’
His shakes his head. It’s the tiniest of movements but it’s enough for me to know that he’s listening.
‘You don’t want help?’ I ask. ‘Or you don’t believe me?’
‘I don’t believe you.’ His voice is a low guttural moan.
‘Why not?’
‘You’re all in it together.’ He stands up suddenly, making me jump, and waves the torch in front of him. The flames dance and spark in front of his face.
‘What is it we’ve done, Danny?’
‘YOU’RE ALL LIARS!’
The force of his scream makes my heart gallop and I tense, prepared to turn and run if he attacks. But I don’t turn and I don’t run. I stay rooted to the spot, my hands hanging loosely at my side.
‘It’s OK to be scared, Danny.’
‘I’m not scared of you.’
‘What are you scared of?’
‘Whoever’s behind all this.’ He waves the lit torch from side to side. ‘Whoever wants to punish me, to make my phobia come true.’ I pause. He’s never told me what he’s scared of but I’m starting to guess. ‘Why did you tie Honor up?’