He laughs again. “No getting caught.”
I’m good at that. So is Kayla.
I take a deep breath. Everyone still thinks the fire was caused by kids from town, which means Lillian never spilled either. I just need to get through these six weeks and never return.
“Here it is,” Tia says, bouncing up and down. She shines her flashlight around. There is a large clearing. A five-minute walk from camp.
I stand at the edge of the forest and do a three-sixty, looking around in every direction. This is crazy.
My heart thumps against my rib cage. My chest tightens. A lot of work has gone into these woods to make sure forest fires don’t get out of hand—strips of land between the trees, large circles of rocks around campfires, and fire prevention signage.
Those rocks saved the woods that night. We accidentally set fire to only three trees. It was contained.
But that wasn’t the worst thing that happened here.
11
Today we’re going to the lake for swimming lessons. Thankfully not taught by me. I’m confident I could swim to save my life, but I’m nowhere near good enough to be able to teach. Besides, I’m not qualified.
We also have water volleyball. The lake is very deep, and dark, in the middle, but about three-quarters of the way in, there’s a ring of rope that we’re not supposed to go beyond.
“I remember being excited for a day on the lake,” I say to Kayla, and take a big gulp of my second coffee.
“Yeah, it was so much fun. The kids are going to love it.”
This is our first full day in the water and around it. We’re having a picnic lunch on the beach and dinner around the campfire. Andy had a lot of burgers and hot dogs delivered early this morning to feed hungry children.
I can almost taste the lightly charred hot dogs just from thinking about them.
“I can’t wait to get in the water. Texas is so hot,” I say.
Kayla smirks. “You’re getting in?”
“Totally. I can referee volleyball or something.” I haven’t been able to focus on anything since last night. Not even sleep. I see angry orange flames consuming three trees so clearly that it’s as if it’s happening right now. The screams are imbedded in my memory, refusing to leave no matter how hard I try.
“Ready to go get changed?” Cora asks, stopping by our table.
I nod and grab my empty bowl and mug.
“See you out there,” I tell Kayla.
Cora and I head out. As we walk, she asks, “Where did you go last night? I saw you guys walking around the lake and into the woods.”
I lick my lips. “Tia wanted to see the old fire damage.”
“Gosh, that was so bad. It was lucky the fire didn’t take hold.”
“Seemed to be held up by the rocks,” I say as if I have no idea.
“Yeah. The trees in the middle of the clearing were the only ones that burned, thankfully.”
Cora knows a lot about this.
My heart skips a beat. “Were you here then?”
I don’t remember her.
“No. I had a good look around when I first came as a CIT, though. It’s such a nice man-made campsite, shame the dead trees ruin it.”
That’s all that’s left. The forest has recovered; new growth has long hidden the mess left behind on the ground. But the burned trees are still there, one of them just a stump. I’m hit with a pang of guilt whenever I think about it. Which has been often lately.
If the site hadn’t been man-made and the ground cleared to protect the forest when campfires were used, the whole woods could have gone up.
Kayla and I almost destroyed acres of forest and the campsite.
Cora heads down to the lake while I return to the cabin to change into my bathing suit. I tie my long hair up on my head, pinch my pale cheeks to give them some color and stare into my green eyes. They really are the color of leaves on a tree. As if I need more reminders of what I’ve done.
Grabbing my towel, I head to the lake. Some of the campers are in the water already, with the swim instructors taking groups of eight each. The other campers are by the two volleyball nets and split into teams. The Buttercups, who aren’t actually twins or even related, are in the water near the volleyball nets, as are Olly and Jake. I bet Kayla regrets her decision to be on swim watch now.
Out of nowhere, a young girl from Cora’s group runs in front of me and trips on a large rock. She lands on the ground with a thud. For some reason, when she falls, I startle more than I should.
“Alana, are you okay?” I ask.
She’s a shy girl. She looks up from the ground and I can tell she’s holding back tears.
I sit down next to her. “Let me see.”
With trembling hands, I inspect her knee. There’s only a slight scrape and it’s not bleeding. Still, I can hear my heart beating in my ears.
“I’m okay,” Alana says.
“Do you want me to get you an ice pack?”
She hesitates, then shakes her head. “I want to get in the lake.”
“Great. Our groups are doing volleyball first. Shall we go?”
She stands and her eyes dart to the swimmers. “I can’t swim. I’ve never had lessons.”
“You’ll be able to by the end of the summer. There are lessons three times a week.”
We walk around the lake to the others.
“Most of my friends can already swim,” she says.
“You’ll be able to tell them you can too when you go back to school.”
Alana beams, her big eyes alight with the excitement of such a simple skill. She doesn’t want to be the best swimmer in the world or go for the Olympics, she just wants to be able to do it like her friends.
She seems to have already forgotten about her fall. But I haven’t.
“Stay waist-high, Alana,” I tell her as she splashes into the lake.
She shouts a very quick okay over her shoulder and joins her team.
“All okay?” Cora asks.
“Um, yeah. Just a small scrape,” I say.
Cora nods. “Thanks for taking care of her. I’ll follow up later and see how she’s doing.”
“For sure.”
I barely hear Cora tell me she is going to check out the water. My mind is still elsewhere. Back at the night of the fire. Only now, new memories are surfacing. They came to me the minute Alana hit the ground and have only grown clearer since. Kayla and I had snuck out. When we reached the clearing, we built a small fire, but we used too many logs. Only after the fire was burning did a young girl come out of the woods. She told us her name was Lillian and that she had run away from home. She wanted to show us something. Something…horrible. Kayla called her a freak and pushed her. Lillian fell, knocking the wood from the firepit. The flames started to spread, hot and vicious, and we all ran.