She opens her mouth to challenge me.
“Kayla, you know I’m right.”
“Will you at least take Olly?”
“Hell no.”
“It’s him or me.”
I roll my eyes. “We’ll discuss this later, but I don’t think Jake and Olly need to know any more than they do already.”
“So it’s all on me and you.”
Now we’re a team, huh?
“That’s the way it’s been from the start, Kayla. This is our responsibility.”
“It was an accident.”
“That doesn’t mean we’re not to blame. We didn’t help Lillian.”
“Because she was crazy and we were scared.”
That’s not a very good excuse.
We’ll end up going around in circles if we keep talking. “Whatever. You should get back to the beach, your group is playing.”
With a huff, she wanders off, whipping her hair the way mean girls in movies do. She’s really playing the part now that she’s dating the quarterback.
I’ve annoyed her. She wants a say in what happens next, but she doesn’t want to step up and try to figure this out.
If she’s not with me, then she can’t make any demands. I’m going into town tonight and she can stay here. And I’m not going to think about it so that I can’t talk myself out of it. All I know is that I can’t keep doing this.
“Esme, can I have a word?” Olly asks.
Cora looks up from where she’s standing waist-deep near the girls. “Take ten, Esme, I’ve got this.”
Well, I can’t say no now.
I give her a tight smile. “Thanks.”
Slipping my flip-flops on as I step out of the lake, I ask, “You want to walk?”
“Let’s go to the food hall instead. I told Andy I would get the snacks ready for after the activity.”
“Okay.”
We walk up the steps and into the kitchen.
“What are we having?”
“Orange wedges, watermelon, crackers and yogurt are on Andy’s list.” Olly holds up a piece of paper with today’s snack highlighted in case Olly didn’t see the date beside it.
I bet Andy’s never been late or unorganized in his life. Lillian is really messing with his order.
“I’ll grab the fruit. Can you get the rest?” I ask.
“Uh-huh.”
We work in silence at first. Olly glances at me occasionally as I slice oranges into wedges.
“What did you find?” he asks.
“Sorry?”
“Last night, in the files. What did you find?”
I put the knife down. “What do you mean? We didn’t find anything.”
His eyes narrow. “Esme.”
“Can we please not have the same argument over and over? I didn’t find anything. But while we’re talking, do you want to go into more detail about why you and Jake lied about knowing each other? It can’t just be because you were there the night of the fire. Why have you never said anything about knowing me? Didn’t you think it was weird that we all just happened to be back at camp at the same time?”
He chucks the box of crackers down on the countertop and turns away from me.
“You’ll think whatever the hell you want anyway, so forget it, Esme.”
I watch with my mouth catching flies as he shoves the door open and storms out of the kitchen.
46
I used to love the mystery of night.
Things can exist in the dark that can’t in the light. Elves and unicorns could be running around for all we know.
No, I haven’t lost it. I know logically that’s not true, but if you can’t see something, then how can you be sure it doesn’t exist?
Five-year-old me loved the thought of her toys coming alive at night and mythical creatures flying around outside.
It’s not such a fun thought anymore. Not since I know what is lurking in the dark.
I’m currently sitting around a campfire listening to a conversation about football. I like football as much as the next nonobsessive American, but I don’t want to spend hours talking about it.
I tap my fingers against my soda can and wish everyone else would get up and do something else. When we break off and go our own ways, I can get away. The radio is in my pocket already and Kayla has one too.
While Andy was briefing everyone, I swiped two radios from the staff cabin. It was embarrassingly easy to do. I can see how Lillian managed to get keys.
Olly watches me from the other side of the fire.
I don’t know what he’s thinking, but we’re still in a fight. Usually, he would be sitting next to me. Tonight, however, he sat as far away from me as he could.
His little tantrum over my simple question hasn’t been forgotten. I still have a lot of questions and he clearly doesn’t want to answer any of them. There has to be a reason for that.
“Why is he staring?” Kayla asks, looking anywhere but at the boys across from us.
I shrug, not really in the mood to talk to her about it. “I don’t know, but it’s starting to freak me out. He’s going to have to find something else to look at if I want to get away.”
“You remember at school when you needed to call your cousin about Bieber concert tickets, so I told the teacher you were about to hurl? She let you go to the bathroom.”
“Please don’t tell everyone I’m about to hurl.”
She laughs. “I just mean I’ve got your back.” She takes a breath. “You have to be careful out there, Esme.”
Kayla will always be my best friend, and I love her, but she is blowing so hot and cold at the moment. I don’t know how much I can rely on her.
“I’ll be careful. This could all be over tonight.”
Sighing, she looks up at the sky. “I hope so. I hate being scared.”
“We’re going to be fine.”
“I can’t die,” she whispers, curling her hands into fists.
“You’re not going to die.” I can practically see her heart rate spike. “Kayla, it’s going to be all right, I promise.”
She purses her lips, and I know she’s thinking of her grandma. It was awful. Kayla watched her nana die in that car and thought she was next.