Lillian lowers the gun to her side.
I press my arm into Kayla’s, willing her to understand what I can’t say. Do not move yet. That gun can be raised quicker than we can reach her. She’s not close enough.
Kayla seems to get it or she’s just thinking the same thing, because she sits perfectly still.
“Did you send that CIT pamphlet to everyone there that night?” I ask.
“Yes. I wanted you, Kayla, Jake and Olly here.”
“Rebekah?”
“I met her a few years ago at a group for burn victims. She’s too easy to manipulate. So desperate for a friend she would do anything.”
“Why Jake and Olly?” Kayla asks.
“They watched and did nothing. Jake was the worst. I saw him later, when I was on my way home. He and Olly were wandering in the forest again. This time they looked right at me and saw the burns. Jake called me a psycho and pulled Olly away. They both ran. I knew then they were there the whole time. Jake’s not sneering now.”
Olly hadn’t mentioned that.
I steal a glance at Kayla. Her eyes are wide.
“What did you do to Jake?”
Jake might have made mistakes, but he was just a scared kid. How could Lillian not see that?
Lillian’s eyes sparkle as she looks at the doors in the back.
Oh God.
“He’s in one of those rooms,” I whisper.
Slowly, she nods. “He’s very quiet.”
“What did you do?”
“Go and see, Esme.”
My heart stalls.
“What?”
“I’ll wait here with Kayla. If you even think about escaping, I’ll put a bullet through her head.”
I lick my lips. “Lillian, please.”
“Get up, Esme!”
With my heart in my throat, I stand up and turn toward the doors. “Which one?”
“Bathroom. Door on the left.”
What could she be doing with him in the bathroom?
I wrap my trembling fingers around the doorknob and turn it slowly.
“Go on,” Lillian says.
The door creaks as I nudge it open.
There is a bathtub.
Jake looks at me from the tub, eyes wide, pupils dilated.
54
I stumble back and grip the edge of the doorframe. Jake. She’s killed him.
Dried blood trails from his mouth to his chin. It looks like it would flake away if you touched it. His face is pale, like a porcelain doll’s.
“Find him?” Lillian asks.
My blood burns. I want to scream at the laughter in her voice.
Turning, I look at Kayla first. She shakes her head, her face crumpling.
Then I look at Lillian.
Lips pursed, dead eyes alight with satisfaction.
“Why?” I rasp.
“He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. People like that make me sick. Star of the football team thinking he’s better than everyone else, worth more.”
“He was probably scared that night too.”
Lillian scoffs. “Yes of course he was. Little Esme, always looking for the good in people. Who are you kidding? You’re not even good.”
“I’m not the same person I was back then. It’s been ten years. I’ve grown up, I’m stronger, and I would never make a mistake like that again. No one is the same as they were when they were eight!”
In the back of my head, I can’t stop thinking, She is a murderer.
I was stupid to ever think we could talk this through. The revenge she wants isn’t the kind that Kayla and I are supposed to survive.
Lillian thinks our deaths will make things right.
“You haven’t changed that much,” she says. “Neither of you told the camp that all of this involved you.”
“We never thought you would do something like this,” I say, nodding back toward Jake. “He’s dead, Lillian. You killed him. How long ago?” It couldn’t have been longer than a few hours. No one knew Jake was missing.
She waves her free hand. “About an hour before you came to me. He was an asshole.”
“He didn’t deserve to die. You could have dealt with this another way.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t advocate talking when you’ve spent ten years hiding your sins. It makes you a hypocrite.”
“What does all of this make you?”
“You are the ones who hurt me! All I’m guilty of is speaking to you that night!”
“You terrified us with that deer’s head. You ran at Kayla when she called you out on it. She only pushed you out of self-defense. She never meant for you to fall into the fire. And now you’ve killed Jake!”
“I didn’t have a choice, and he deserved everything he got. I wouldn’t harm an innocent person. That’s the difference between you and me.”
I push away from the door. The smell from the bathroom is making my stomach churn.
“You were scared of your dad and we understand that. We were scared of our parents too. Can’t you see, Lillian, we didn’t feel like we had a choice either.”
Her face freezes.
We all feared something that night.
I’ve made it sound like our parents were cruel as well. Maybe she’ll relent if she thinks we shared a similar childhood.
“Shut up!” she screams. “Shut up, you bitch. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I raise my hands, palms facing her. “Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t understand.”
Except that I do. I understand fully. Fear can be debilitating.
“Okay,” Kayla says. “Here’s what we’re going to do. Jake was a bully to you, so you did what you had to.”
Lillian looks surprised but nods. “He was evil.”
“Yes,” Kayla replies. “But thanks to you, he will never hurt anyone again. We need to get rid of his body, though. If the cops find him, he can be traced to you. Your DNA will be everywhere.”
My jaw drops.
What is she saying?
Kayla shakes her head at me. “Esme, this is the only way. We have a responsibility to help Lillian cover this up after what we did to her. We’ll scrub Jake clean and bury him deep in the woods. Then, we’ll burn this cabin to the ground.”