Silence reigned for several moments.
“I’ll do it,” Tate said. “Whatever it takes.”
My pulse pounded as the implications of what was being said hit home. “No. You can’t. You can’t use your power on them. You can’t risk your onyx mage status coming out.”
“Exactly,” Lorenzo said. “The tincture I gave you will only hide you to a certain degree, but if you go up against the Wardens, the Mageri are bound to find out. They’ll come for you.”
“Then I’ll run.”
I grabbed Tate’s hand. “No.”
He turned to me, squeezing my hand. “Quinn, as soon as I became an onyx mage, I knew our time together was limited. I knew there’d come a point when I’d have to leave. Knowing you won’t be alone when that happens has been a source of comfort. Not knowing what will cause it has haunted me, but this…Sacrificing my time with you to save your life is totally worth it.”
I glared at him. “I won’t lose you over this. I won’t. We do the shackles, and we find another way.” I speared Orina and Nyx with a second glare. “We find another way.”
They both sighed in unison and nodded. “So be it.”
Lorenzo exhaled in relief. “Okay, so this is how they work…”
I drew Tate into the conservatory away from the others. I needed to look him in the eye, just the two of us, and have him swear to me that he wouldn’t risk his life for me.
“No,” he said.
“You don’t know what I’m going to say. You don’t even know if I’ll be asking a question.”
“I know exactly what you’re going to ask, Quinn. I can see it in your eyes, but I won’t make a promise I might not be able to keep.”
“Dammit, Tate.” I had to make him see sense.
“I’m sorry, Quinn.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and peered up at him, earnest and desperate. “Tate, if you do this, we can never be together. If I lose you, then—”
He gently gripped my forearms. “You’ll live. You’ll still have the Faoladh and Dillon. You’ll have a chance to conquer the taint.”
His tone was calm and flat. The tone he used when he’d made up his mind. The tone I’d named his mule tone.
I’d usually back off at this point, knowing there was no hope of changing his mind, but not this time. I had to try.
“Yes, I’ll have the others, but I won’t have you.” My eyes welled and I blinked back tears. “Tate…” My voice cracked on his name. “I love you, so fucking much. You’re more than my lover, you’re my best friend. My home. You’re a part of me.”
His jaw tightened, as if he was steeling himself against me. “None of that will change if I’m not here.”
I shook my head, not bothering to stem my panic. It saturated my tone, lacing every word. “Please promise me if the shackles fail you won’t use your onyx power. Promise you’ll stand down. We have a plan, remember?” My pitch rose. “I have the sea to hide me, remember?”
Fuck, I sounded desperate even to my own ears, and Tate’s expression softened.
“You don’t want that,” he said. “To be cut off from land. To be on the run from the Mageri forever.” He stroked the insides of my forearms with his thumbs. “You don’t want to live like that, Quinn.”
My stomach dipped, becoming hollow and empty. “It won’t be forever. We’ll figure out some other way eventually, and then we’ll be together again. But if you show them what you are, it’s game over for us. Don’t you get it?” My words ended on a sob. “Promise me. Please, Tate, promise me.”
He cupped my nape and kissed my lips softly. “You taste salty, like the sea.”
I sighed against his mouth. “Don’t change the subject.”
“Lorenzo’s my father.”
My gaze flashed up to meet his. “What?”
“The Faoladh know. I told them. I wanted you to know too.”
What did I say to that? Too many words crowded my mind, tying my tongue in knots.
His smile told me he understood my mental overload. “I’m telling you this because whatever happens, we’ll have Lorenzo as a go-between.”
A fist of panic gripped my lungs. “No—”
He kissed me hard on the mouth. “I love you, Quinn, but this is my decision. My life—”
“Our life, dammit.” I gripped the back of his neck. “Our life, and you do not get to check out like that. If you kill the Wardens, you’re killing us. Is that what you want?” His shoulders drooped. I had him. “Use the shackles. Use them, and if they don’t work, if the plan fails, then we retreat and regroup. We figure out something else. There’s time. We have time.”
“Tate?” Lorenzo appeared in the doorway, his gaze flitting from me to Tate and back again. “We should head to the boundary line now. We need to fill the others in on the plan and get the shackles to them.”
Tate nodded, then kissed me on the temple. “Go shower. You smell like brine. This will be over before we know it, and then I’ll cook us all some steaks.”
He extricated himself from our embrace and followed Lorenzo out into the hallway. It was only when the door slammed behind them that I realized that despite my demands, he hadn’t promised me anything.
18
I stood in the shower, allowing it to wash away the briny scent of the sea along with my disappointment and doubts. Tate would do what Tate decided in the spur of the moment.
There was nothing I could do about that. Nothing I could do to stop him, and the impotence of my situation was a hot coal in the pit of my belly.
We had a plan, and if we managed to execute it, everything would be okay. It had to be, because there was no way I’d lose Tate.
I didn’t register the other presence in the room until familiar calloused hands were on me and a vanilla aroma filled my head.
I leaned back against Bryce as he wrapped his arms around me. So many thoughts filled my mind, so many things I wanted to say, but when he kissed my neck, those thoughts melted away. Insignificant and undeserving of focus.
I tipped my head to the side, giving him better access to my neck, moaning as his hands slid up to cup my breasts. He rubbed and kneaded, sucking on my skin and hooking an arm around my waist to anchor me before pushing me forward. My palms slapped the tiles.
I knew what he wanted, and I gave it to him, pushing out my ass and opening my legs to allow access, which he took immediate advantage of, entering me hard, fast, and deep in a raw, primal coupling that produced carnal sounds that echoed against the tiles. Sounds that heightened my need and desire and made me push back against him as I reveled in the wet slap of flesh and the thick invasion of his arousal.
He wrapped my hair around his fist and tugged my head back. “Mine.” The hot growl vibrated straight through me, settling at my core in a thrum that pushed me over the edge.
I came quickly, violently, fingers curling against tile as I rode the wave, ass grinding into his groin while my body milked him.
He made a guttural sound of satisfaction, hips snapping against mine as he found release.