I quickly shake my head, pressing my palms flat against his suit front. “No, it’s not about me or even us. But it’s still something I know that you don’t, and I can’t let it sit inside me and fester. Or worse, you find out I’ve known all along and feel betrayed all over again.”
The suspicion doesn’t clear from his eyes, though, and that’s another gouge out of my heart. “What? If it’s not about us, then why do you look so scared?”
I gulp. “Rose. You know she was like a sister to me. I watched her get hurt, raped by Sal, used and brutalized over and over again. The entire time I tried to protect her and keep her safe. In the end, I wasn’t strong enough. Not even to save myself. I watched it all unfold, and I didn’t do enough. But I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.”
His tone is clipped. “You’re starting to scare me, Angel. Just fucking tell me what it is.”
I shake my head. “No, I want to make another deal.”
The second the words are out, he drags me to my feet, almost picking me up off the ground completely. “If this is a deal, then I won’t be on my knees, and neither will you. Not unless you’re begging for something.”
I blink at the heat in his tone. Another wave of arousal pours through me. How can I get so turned on in mere seconds with just a few words from him? It seems impossible.
I clench my fists. No, I need to focus and get this all out so we can come up with a solution together.
“What are you proposing, Angel?” He leans in and presses his warm lips to my pulse point. Involuntarily, I wrap my hand around his neck and hold him there.
It takes me another minute to come to my senses. “If you keep doing that, I won’t be able to get this out.”
He shrugs like he doesn’t care, but I know damn well he does. I can’t let him distract us both.
I grip the hair at his nape and pull lightly. He comes away from my skin with a little growl. “Angel, you better fucking know what you’re doing.”
His tone is deep, dipped in dark chocolate and oh-so delicious. Fucking hell.
I step away from him, and thankfully, he lets me have a few inches. “I want to make a deal. I know what happened to Andrea and who was involved. She told me in the kitchen earlier when I went to find food. If I tell you the names, you have to let me help you kill them.”
His jaw clenches, and I stare him down so he can see how serious I am about this.
“I won’t fail her like I did Rose. If I tell you the names, we go after them together.”
All thoughts of distance are gone now when he seizes me around the waist and hauls me against him. “I will not put you in danger.” There’s absolutely no give in his tone.
I wrap my hands around his neck, holding him just as tightly. “So keep me safe then…but I want them all dead.”
16
ADRIAN
“Angel, let’s pretend, for a moment, you didn’t have a complete meltdown after what happened to your father.” I carefully word my statement and consider my next. The last thing I need is to spin her right back through her trauma. “I don’t know that you have it in you to kill someone unless they are actively trying to hurt you.”
She tucks her chin, her eyes taking on an accusatory glint. “Or you. I’d fight to protect you too.”
Well, fuck. Something hot slides through my chest. I curl my hands around her hips and pull her tight against me. “Don’t say shit like that, Angel, or I’m going to bend you over the bed and make you scream for me.”
She gulps, her throat working, as she tries to school her features. Except she’s not sure where we stand—which makes two of us. I can see in her eyes how much she wants me, and it makes my blood boil with my contained need for her. However, I have to keep her safe, and pushing her too fast or too soon won’t help her ease back into our life together.
That’s all I want.
To go back to when she looked at me like I was the sun she revolves around. Now, every glance is a big fucking question mark in my head.
I knead my hands around to her ass, squeezing the firm globes in my palms. Fuck, she feels good like this. Nothing much to hide her body from me except my own shirt.
Her eyes flash to mine, still full of questions but also the lingering heat that always exists between us. No matter what has happened between us, she still wants me, and I have no intention of keeping my hands to myself.
I clench my fists tight, letting my need for her roll through me. Things are different now. I need to be careful with her. Slacking this feeling is something I’ll have to handle on my own. She’ll only get the pleasure.
I scoop her up by the ass and skim my mouth up her neck even as she lets out a tiny squeak of surprise. Her breath fans against my ear, and her arms wrap around my neck to keep herself steady. God, every fucking time, I forget how perfectly she fits in my grasp.
“Angel, if you aren’t up for this, tell me now so I can walk away. Otherwise…” I trail off, letting her imagination fill in the blanks.
“I don’t want to stop,” she says against my cheek and clutches me tighter.
That’s my girl.
I gently set her on the bed. She unwinds from around my neck and uses her hands to scoot backward from the edge. I spend a minute looking at her, all her pale soft skin and gleaming eyes. Everything in her face, from the clench of her jaw to the heavy gulp she takes as her gaze glides down my body, says she wants me as much as I want her right now.
“Lie back, Angel. I want you to touch yourself for me.”
Her eyes fly wide, skimming back up to mine. Then her body flushes pink from her cheeks to her knees, and I clench my fists again, needing the ache in my hands to keep me from climbing on the bed after her. “Touch yourself for me. Part your cunt and show me how wet you are.”
The gulp she gives me is loud enough that even I can hear it, but then she slides her hand over her belly, between her thighs, and into her panties. I reach up, grab the lace, and tug them down her legs. “Open for me. Let me look at you. You’ve been feeling guilty about leaving. Let this assuage some of that guilt.”
Her fingers glide through her pussy, and she lets her thighs splay wide open so I get a look at everything. “That’s not fair, using sex like that.”
I lean over on the bed, bracing my hands to bring my face low enough I can smell the soft musk of her arousal and the scent of my soap on her skin. “When did I ever say I play fair? Now stop teasing and touch yourself like I would.”
She arches her wrist to dip her fingers inside herself, then back out to circle her clit. “Or you could get up here and touch me yourself.”
If I climb onto the bed, I’ll rail her into the covers so hard there will be stitch lines on her ass from the blanket. No, better if I keep my distance until I can touch her with control. “Keep going,” I encourage her.
I lick my lips as I watch her, the need to kiss her there overwhelming. But I ignore it in favor of cataloging this moment, this feeling, for when I take the edge off later. Alone.
She sighs and drops her head back onto the bed, hips tipping upward to increase the pressure of her fingers. All I can do is tighten my grip on the bedding and watch. My cock’s so hard it’s leaking pre-cum all over my slacks. Control is something I know well and something I know I can give her.