When I sit up I notice that Jube is asleep on the cement under the hammock. I reach down and pat his head and I hear his tail thump against the concrete in reply.
In the annex, I see Taylor curled up in a ball, sobbing. Mum’s arms are around her. ‘It’s okay. Don’t cry.’
I push into the annex. ‘Is it Dad?’
Neither of them responds. I shake Taylor’s shoulder. ‘Is it Dad?’
Taylor hits me. ‘Rack off!’
Mum sighs and looks down at her watch. ‘Your dad’s fine. He’s at counselling. He’ll be home in about ten minutes.’
‘Thought he stopped counselling,’ I say. ‘Thought he said it was useless.’
‘Yeah, well. He didn’t have a choice this time,’ Mum says, her voice hard. She pats Taylor’s back, but her expression remains distant.
I lean against the support pole. ‘Well, what is it, then?’
‘Adam.’ Taylor’s voice is choked. I can’t see her face, but I know how it must look. Taylor goes blotchy when she cries. Her hair always sticks to her forehead. ‘He’s dumped me.’
‘He didn’t dump you – he’s moving away with his family,’ Mum says, handing Taylor a tissue. ‘He doesn’t have a choice.’
Taylor rips the tissue into tiny pieces and presses her forehead onto the floor. ‘We could have done long distance! I could’ve gone with him!’
‘With him? You’re seventeen.’
‘So?’ Taylor shrugs violently away from Mum and Mum staggers, regaining her balance. ‘It’s better than living in this dump!’
Taylor stalks out of the annex, hair stuck to her face, and Mum sighs again and stays sitting on the floor.
‘I’m sorry,’ I say.
Mum doesn’t respond for a long moment and I think maybe she hasn’t heard me. Then she glances up and her face is so sad. ‘Me too.’
***
‘I’ll go check the river again,’ Dad says. He’d come home two hours after Taylor stalked off. Mum had told him about Adam, about Taylor disappearing and then hadn’t spoken to him.
The three of us sit in the annex with plates of pasta in front of us. We’re not really eating it. I poke at mine with a fork.
‘It’s raining,’ Mum says. ‘She shouldn’t be out in the rain. She’ll be soaked.’
‘It’s warm,’ I mutter. ‘She’ll be fine.’
‘She’s left her phone at home,’ Mum says. ‘What’s the point of us paying for her to have it if she leaves it at home and disappears?’
I blink. ‘You pay for Taylor’s phone? I pay for my own!’
‘You’re older, Stella. And you’ve got a job.’
‘By a few months! That’s so unfair!’
‘This isn’t about you,’ Dad says and I’m startled by the sharpness of his voice. ‘I’ll go check the river again,’ he says.
‘She’s not there,’ I say. ‘She’ll be at one of her friends’ houses. It’s for the best – they’ll calm her down.’
‘I don’t think anything’s going to calm her down right now,’ Mum mutters.
‘Who are her friends?’ Dad asks me.
‘How would I know? I don’t exactly hang out with her at Ascott.’
‘You should know you sister’s friends,’ Dad says.
Mum rests her head against her hand. ‘Charlie.’
I cross my arms. ‘Well, excuse me for not burning down the school library and getting expelled. And maybe you should know your daughter’s friends.’
‘She could be anywhere! She could be in trouble!’
‘And that’s not my fault!’
‘Just stop it!’ he says, heading out into the night.
Mum and I don’t look at each other.
‘He won’t find her,’ I say.
‘Eat your pasta.’
‘Where was he?’
‘What?’
‘You said he’d be home in ten minutes. Took him two hours. Thought he was meant to tell you what he’s doing. Thought that was the idea of the time sheet and all that crap.’
‘I don’t know, Stella.’
‘He was probably at the pokies.’
‘Stop it.’
‘Wonder how much money you can lose in two hours?’
‘Stella – don’t. Just don’t.’ Mum rests her head in her hands.
‘I keep hoping that he will, but he’s not going to stop.’
I wait for Mum to snap upright, to tell me that I’m wrong. But she stays hunched over the table with her head resting in her hands. ‘I know,’ she says.
***
Every possum in the tree, every crunch of gravel is Taylor sheepishly coming home with her green, pink and purple hair and her netball skirt hitched too high. We don’t sleep that night. I hope Taylor isn’t out there, sleepwalking and talking about glitter snakes and ants. Mum keeps going out and driving around the streets of Sutherbend and Dad keeps walking down to the river. I stay in our little cabin at Fairyland and doze on and off. When the sky begins to lighten, I call up Adam and ask him for Taylor’s friends’ numbers.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says helplessly. He doesn’t offer to help us look, like he’s already far away. Like we’re all just memories or chapters in a book he’s long ago finished.
Mum calls the police, but they won’t consider Taylor missing. Not yet. Not until she’s been gone for twenty-four hours.
‘She could be dead by then!’ Mum yells. ‘She’s been gone all night! In Sutherbend.’
I call the friends of hers who I know, but nobody’s seen her. Jube comes and sits next to me as I sink down onto the ground outside the annex and feel the first stab of uncertainty, of fear.
I can hear Mum crying.
‘You can’t drive.’ Dad’s voice.
‘I have to find her!’
‘You can’t drive like this.’
‘I have to!’
‘If you hadn’t sold your bloody auto!’
Mum starts sobbing more loudly than ever.
Dad’s heavy footsteps and then he’s standing beside me outside the annex. ‘What are you doing?’ he snaps.
‘I . . .’
‘We need to find Taylor. What are you doing?’
‘I’m not the one who ran away! I’m not the one who disappeared!’ I stamp my foot. ‘I’m right here!’
***
My sister is missing. I chant it in my head as I wander around Sutherbend. My sister is missing. My sister is missing.
I dip back to Fairyland every now and then, hoping to find her lolling on the wicker couch. She never is.
I find Matthew out on the main road and tell him. The words sound unreal, impossible.
He frowns. ‘She’ll be at one of her mates’ places, right?’
‘None of them have seen her,’ I say.
‘How can I help?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t know that you can.’
‘I’ll go have a look around some of the places around here.’
‘She won’t be hanging around here. She’ll have nicked off somewhere. Probably jumped on a train.’