I shake my head but the memories of what I saw in Nikolai’s head are too raw, and Tobias's mouth twists with disgust.
“Fuck, Maeve,” he whispers. “You saw all that?” I swallow down the lump forming in my throat and nod. “A vision?”
“No. Plans. Please don’t talk about what I saw if you want me to calm down.”
“Did he touch you?” Tobias’s eyes narrow as his anger fuels the growing energy between us. “Hurt you?”
“He wanted to draw out my magic.”
“And he did.” Tobias walks to the window and pushes trembling hands into his trouser pockets as his control over the situation flickers. “What happened tonight is not only the result of Nikolai’s perverse interest in you. I'd lay bets this was a plan to trigger your Blackwood energy. If they use this to consume your benevolent magic, they could mould you into a tool for them. I’ve seen this happen—Ravenhold contains witches corrupted in the same way.”
The dark magic still whispers at the edges of my mind, but I can’t admit to Tobias that I was on the verge of killing Nikolai.
“I know you were, Maeve. I wish I’d found you quicker.”
I blink at his mind reading, but what else should I expect? “Should we leave now? Run onto the estate?”
“No. You’re not thinking straight. At daybreak, we’ll leave and hide. The estate is more dangerous tonight because Dominion vampires are here. The pneuma may detect us.”
What have I dragged him into? I cross the room and he looks up as I approach before backing off, folding his arms tightly across his chest. “Maeve. Stay away. There’s too much emotional energy around you for me to deal with.” He fixes his eyes on mine. “And physical.”
The kiss. I can’t stop picturing the kiss and as I stare at his mouth, I can almost taste him.
“They want something to happen,” he says hoarsely. “Dressed you like this.”
“Like what?” I look down at the dress now covered in dirt, the skirt torn in places. The straps have slipped from my shoulders and I pull one back up.
“Maeve. You’re beautiful to me in whatever you wear, but...” He sighs. “I’m refusing to come back into the fold. They know the curse. They want me dead, so what better way than to torture me first?”
For a moment I swear he's about to reach out and straighten the other strap, but his face pains and he looks away.
“You can’t be sure I'm her,” I whisper and close the space between us. “I might not be that witch.”
He straightens the other dress strap and the light touch bursts across my skin like fireworks. “The one I fall in love with? Yes. You’re that witch.”
“Fall in love?” I say, barely comprehending his words.
“Do you think I would be here, now, if I didn’t love you?”
If Tobias wants the intensity between us to drop, he’s failing. “I don’t know what to think about any of this. But I’m not her."
“Do you honestly believe that?”
“Maybe you believe that and it's why you're attracted to me?”
“No, Maeve. This is me falling in love with a powerful witch because of who she is.”
I reach out and touch his face, still desperate for comfort from him. “I didn’t know. You pushed me away.”
He curls his fingers around my hand. “Because I’ve denied this to myself. I didn't want to accept the curse is true.”
The energised space between us intensifies with his words, and everything we’ve held back since we walked into the room unshackles. My heart swells and beats faster as we look at each other.
Tobias moves my hand to kiss the palm and as his lips touch the skin I’m hit with a blinding light as intense as the shadows before.
“No!” Tobias shouts and recoils. “Maeve. Move the fuck away from me. Now.”
I falter, hurt by the vehement tone and his sudden switch in manner. He looks at me as if I’m abhorrent. “Tobias.”
“Your hand. You didn’t tell me he’d cut you.”
I glance at my palm. "I didn't realise." Nikolai nicked my palm with his blade, but never had a chance to push far before I stopped him. There’s barely a scratch but enough to have drawn blood. “It’s nothing.”
“Nothing?” He laughs and the sound is edged by panic. “Maeve. Your blood just touched my lips.”
The reality hits me and the calm that came over me for those few seconds evaporates at the wild fear in his eyes. “I have to leave.” Tobias appears by the door, moving with the vampire speed.
“No! Tobias! Don’t leave me alone in here.”
“I can’t stay in this room with you, Maeve.”
“Why?”
He places his hands on his head, elbows at right angles. “Your blood. The emotions you’re broadcasting at me. The attraction to you. I’ve spent months keeping control and I’m a heartbeat away from losing my grip.”
I take a shuddery breath because the truth needs telling. “I don’t care. Prove to me I’m more than a curse to you.”
“What are you asking?” He drops his arms. “Maeve. We kissed. That was enough.”
“You’re lying. You know the kiss was the start.”
Tobias rests his head on the door and looks at the ceiling. “Don’t. Just don’t. You are a step beyond temptation now. You’re a need. No.” He turns and takes hold of the handle.
In a bizarre reversal of the last time we were alone and argued, I’m the one to step forward and stop him. I grab Tobias’s wrist in an attempt to pull him away and he freezes. The fear in his eyes switches to something else.
Chapter Twenty-Three
TOBIAS
Returning to the Blackwood estate was a return to a past I’ve sealed in a box and buried in the recesses of my soul. Maeve doesn't understand. She can't begin to comprehend what would happen if I lose control. Before we arrived at this place, I could maintain the distance, even once the barrier created by Professor Whitlock crumbled. I could switch my focus away from Maeve to solving the problems the five of us face.
This distraction away from Maeve helped dampen the fire but never snuffed the flame. Each encounter. Every conversation. Any situation where we almost touched poured oil onto a fire ready to consume us both.
And now I’ve kissed her—the mistake I’ve ached to make with the result I expected. The kiss has destroyed my last hope that Maeve isn’t my cursed future.
Her kiss has destroyed me.
I denied who Maeve is. Over the years, I’ve convinced myself the curse doesn’t exist; that the witch I killed planted a fear she hoped would follow me for life. I met Maeve’s aunt once, aware she’s the only witch with future-sighted powers. My worry I’d be tied to a woman twenty years older than me was for nothing and I walked away reassured.
And then Maeve arrived.
I knew from the first time our eyes met that Maeve was the witch who would end my life.
Or that I would end hers.
Now the part of me that craved her kiss whispers to me: what difference would taking another step make?