He smiles, remembering. He breathes in deep through his nose. “So this is what fresh air smells like,” he says, because of course it’s the first time he’s ever breathed it. He spent his whole life on a ship, too. “It’s different than I expected.” He looks back at me. “Stronger.”
“Lots of things are different than we expected.”
He squeezes my shoulder again. “We’re here now, Viola,” he says. “You’re not alone any more.”
I swallow and look back at the projection. “I wasn’t alone.”
Bradley sighs again, looking with me. It flickers, he says.
“We’ll have to build a fire so you can see for yourself,” I say.
“See what?”
“That it flickers.”
He looks at me puzzled for a minute. “What you said earlier?”
“No,” I say. “Just now, you said–”
What’s she talking about? he says.
But he doesn’t say it.
And my stomach turns in a knot.
No.
Oh, no.
“Did you hear that?” he says, looking even more puzzled and turning around. “It sounded like my voice . . .”
But how could it be my–? he thinks and then stops.
He looks back at me.
And Viola? he says.
But he says it in his Noise.
He says it in his brand-new Noise.
[TODD]
I hold the bandage to the wound on Angharrad’s flank and let the medicine enter her bloodstream. She still don’t say nothing, but I keep my hands on her, keep saying her name.
Horses can’t be alone and I need to tell her I’m part of her herd.
“Come back to me, Angharrad,” I whisper into her ears. “Come on, girl.”
I look over to the Mayor, talking to his men, and I try to think how the hell it came to this.
We had him beat. We did. Beaten and tied up and we’d won.
But now.
Now he’s just walking round again like he owns the place, like he’s completely in charge of the whole goddam world again, like what I did to him and how I beat him is of no concern at all.
But I did beat him. And I will again.
I untied a monster to save Viola.
And now I’ve somehow gotta keep hold of the leash.
“The eye in the sky is still there,” he says to me, walking over and looking up to the dot of light the Mayor’s pretty sure is a probe of some kind. We first saw it hovering over us an hour ago when the Mayor was giving orders to his captains, telling ’em to build a camp down here at the bottom of the hill, to send out spies to see what we’re up against and send out other troops to find out what’s happened to the army of the Answer.
But so far no one’s been sent to the scout ship.
“They can see us already,” the Mayor says, still looking up. “When they want to meet, they can just come to me, now, can’t they?”
He looks round us slowly, at the men sorting themselves out for what’s left of the night.
“Just listen to the voices,” he says, in a strange whisper.
The air is still filled with the Noise of the men but the look in the Mayor’s eyes makes me wonder if he’s talking bout something else.
“What voices?” I ask.
He blinks, like he’s surprised I’m still here. He smiles again and reaches out a hand to rest on Angharrad’s mane.
“Don’t touch her,” I say and I stare at him till he takes his hand away.
“I know how you feel, Todd,” he says gently.
“No, you don’t.”
“I do,” he insists. “I remember my first battle in the very first Spackle War. You think you’re going to die now. You think this is the worst thing you’ve ever seen and how can you live now you’ve seen it? How can anyone live after seeing it?”
“Get outta my head,” I say.
“I’m only talking, Todd. That’s all I’m doing.”
I don’t answer him. I just keep whispering to Angharrad. “I’m here, girl.”
“But you’ll be fine,” the Mayor says. “So will your horse. You’ll both be stronger. You’ll be better for it.”
I look at him. “How can anyone be better after that? How can anyone be more of a man after that?”
He leans down close to me. “Because it was exciting, too, wasn’t it?”
I don’t say nothing to that.
(cuz it was–)
(for a minute there–)
But then I remember the soldier dying, the one reaching for his baby son in his Noise, the one who won’t never see him again–
“You felt the excitement when we chased them up the hill,” the Mayor’s saying. “I saw it. It blazed through your Noise like a fire. Every man in the army felt the same thing, Todd. You’re never more alive than in battle.”
“Never more dead after,” I say.
“Ah, philosophy,” he smiles. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”
I turn away from him, back to Angharrad.
And then I hear it.
I AM THE CIRCLE AND THE CIRCLE IS ME.
I look back at him and I slap VIOLA at him.
He flinches but he don’t lose his smile. “Exactly, Todd,” he says. “I said it before. Control your Noise and you control yourself. Control yourself–”
“And you control the world,” I finish. “Yeah, I heard you the first time. I only wanna control myself, thank you. I ain’t got no interest in the rest of the world.”
“Everyone says that. Until they get their first taste of power.” He looks up again at the probe. “I wonder if Viola’s friends would be able to tell us what sort of numbers we’re actually up against.”
“Too many, that’s how many,” I say. “It’s probably the whole Spackle world up there. You can’t kill ’em all.”
“Cannons against arrows, my boy,” he says, looking back at me. “Even with their nifty new fire weapon and whatever those white sticks are, they don’t have cannons. They don’t–” he nods to the eastern horizon where the scout ship landed “–have flying ships. I’d call us just about even.”
“All the more reason to end it now,” I say.
“All the more reason to keep fighting,” he says back. “There’s only room on this planet for one side to be dominant, Todd.”
“Not if we–”
“No,” he says more strongly. “You set me free for one reason. To make this planet safe for your Viola.”
I don’t say nothing to that.
“And I’ve agreed to your condition and now you will let me do what needs to be done. You will let me make this planet safe for her and for the rest of us. And you will let me do this for you, because you cannot do it for yourself.”
And I remember how the soldiers followed his every command, throwing themselves into battle and dying, just cuz he told ’em to.
And he’s right, I don’t know that I’d ever be able to do that.
I need him. I hate that I do, but I do.
I turn away from him again. I close my eyes and press my forehead against Angharrad.
I am the Circle and the Circle is me, I think.