“You embarrass family!” he says.
Is it that huge of a deal that I posted photos of Frank and me in our underwear? It’s exactly like being in a hot tub, but outdoors in nature. Doesn’t he admire my iPhone photography skills? There are flowers, rocks, magpies, and gushing blue-white waters. I even got 114 likes on Instagram this morning.
Why is Uncle Dai so focused on the fact that I hooked up with my tutor?
Isn’t Frank better than a random person on the street?
Would he be having the same reaction if I told him that I slept with a rickshaw driver? Or a dude who operates a food stall at Fucheng Street Market?
Anyway, he’s not serious about not letting me see Frank again, is he? Can uncles in Beijing prohibit modern-day Romeo and Juliet relationships? Are Chinese relationship laws based on medieval Shakespearean times?
Stunned, I turn to Ruby to ask her, but she’s looking at me like I’m a mess. A centipede that she wants to skewer and deep-fry alive but won’t actually eat.
Unexpectedly, Uncle Dai’s phone rings and he goes into his office to answer it. Auntie Yingfei, glancing nervously at us, quickly follows him.
I turn to Ruby. “Why did you show your dad the photos of Frank and me?”
She gives me a funny, hurt expression. I almost miss her severe eye-rolling when I first arrived in Beijing.
“You were supposed to pick up the dog so my dad wouldn’t find out!” she hisses. “The monks couldn’t reach you, so they phoned the spa owner, who phoned Mr. Chen, and they are boarding the dog for a few days before they ship it back to the temple! Now I can’t practice. My dad doesn’t want me ordering any more dogs with my allowance.”
“Oh my god, Ruby,” I say, shocked. “I’m so sorry, I completely forgot about the mastiff.”
“You promised, Iris! What type of person promises and forgets?”
She’s right. I’m truly an awful person who can’t remember to help her cousin when it counts.
“And guess what? I got a B-minus on the paper you looked at!” she continues. “We’re both grounded for the summer.”
“But that’s a good mark,” I say, confused. I have never gotten a B-minus on a paper before.
“I needed a high A. And congratulations. You also just lost both of our allowances.”
“What do you mean? I thought your dad was joking,” I say.
“You don’t take anything seriously, do you?” she retorts. “No one gets less than perfect if you’re related to the great Feng Construction Corp, who only builds award-winning, perfect celebrity hotels. I can’t believe we are even related.
“I want my boots back,” she suddenly says, crossing her arms.
I forgot that I was still wearing her beautiful gold leather boots. I wore Ruby’s gift for the entire weekend in Chengdu, except when I was in the hot springs, obviously.
Can’t Ruby see that her boots honestly look amazing on me?
“They make my complexion better,” I tell her, before realizing that it was the wrong thing to say.
“Take them off right now,” she insists. “I want them back. I shouldn’t have trusted you.”
I unzip them and hand them over.
“You are the worst person I have ever met,” she says coldly.
Tears of horror, shame, and guilt prick my eyeballs. I feel horrible for not remembering my promise to Ruby. I can’t believe that I made a commitment without even thinking about it. Does that make me a shitty friend or a shittier cousin?
My phone dings. At first, I think it’s Frank, but Ruby is texting me, perched on an armchair across the room. Eyebrows bunched up as if she’s about to cry, she seems unable to have a face-to-face conversation when it comes to emotional matters.
SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: I actually thought you were okay for a while
Iris: Ruby i’m so sorry
Iris: It’s no excuse but I completely forgot about picking up your dog
SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: You don’t care about anything except yourself
Iris: That’s not true
Iris: I’m enlightened now!
SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: Wtf are you talking about?
SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: You’re SO selfish
SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: You were having fun and forgot
Iris: I’m sorry
SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: Sorry doesn’t mean anything if you keep doing it
SuperPrincessQueenRuby8421: I thought i misjudged you but you are the most spoiled and laziest person i have ever met and i know all the top 10 richest families in China
Finally, Uncle Dai storms back in, his face scrunched up and worried. “We need to move to new hotel NOW. Leave everything.”
WECHAT GROUP (#1WangFamily!!!)
Mom: HOW COULD YOU BE SO SELFISH?!
IrisDaddy: How could you shame us in front of your uncle and aunt? They think we did a terrible job raising you.
Mom: You betrayed everyone’s trust. You have no respect for your elders. You didn’t tell anyone where you were going. Why didn’t you phone us???
Mom: EVERYONE has been so worried
Mom: We thought something horrible had happened
Mom: You need to think about other people before you disappear. We thought you were kidnapped/murdered/dead
IrisDaddy: We have not slept for 48 hours. We called the US Embassy in China
IrisDaddy: We thought Beijing would change you! Your behavior is out of control
Mom: CALL US BACK
WECHAT GROUP (#1WangFamily!!!)
Mom: NAKED PHOTOS, Iris?
Mom: Your uncle thinks you’re an internet porn star!!
IrisDaddy: You spent a weekend with a strange boy?!!
101 messages.
27
Confrontation
“Not safe,” Uncle Dai says as we exit the building with hotel security. I notice that my uncle has hired a dozen additional bodyguards, who follow us in shiny black cars. Apparently, the police think that he’s being targeted by a specific group of protestors who will do anything to stop my uncle from building his new hotel.
I’m suddenly nervous. It seems incredibly serious if we have to evacuate the Shangri-La in secrecy. I’m not even allowed to bring my toothbrush. Uncle Dai won’t even let Ruby leave the house with the gold boots, so she puts them on instead.
“What’s going on?” I ask. “I deserve to know.”
“They don’t want us to build brand-new hotel,” Uncle Dai says.
“Who?” I say.
“People in Beijing very angry this time. We pick site that is not accepted by everyone. Many write letter and say they want to hurt us. Someone follow Auntie Yingfei home from bank yesterday. Feng Corp number five company in Asia and our job is to build best hotel. But people destroy hotel site last night. They think we are kicking people out of their home, but we already have many investor put money in. We make big mistake.”
“What?” I ask, confused.
I stop breathing for at least a few minutes, until I feel what I think are my lungs exploding like microwave popcorn. My heart beats uncontrollably. I’m actually terrified. Nothing newsworthy like this has ever happened to me in New Jersey.
How can Uncle Dai be so nonchalant and businesslike about this problem? Is he just extra talented at hiding his feelings? Or is he downplaying his fear so we won’t get scared? He seems to handle trouble better than my dad, who would be either screaming or sobbing (like me).