Then I realize that I’m mouth-breathing way too loudly to be normal.
Attempting to focus extra hard, I finish off Frank/Paul’s coffee. I don’t think about what happened at the hotel. I don’t think about his lips, tongue, teeth, fingers, and bare skin pressing on mine. The harsh mechanical grinding of coffee beans serves as a reminder of my present, not-so-unpleasant reality.
Even though I’m terrified of what the future will bring, I’m also secretly excited. But in order to be okay, I first need to understand myself. I keep hearing Ruby’s words Diǎo sī in my head to describe Frank/Paul, which apparently means “loser” in Mandarin. She’s a loyal cousin and thinks that anyone who hurt me is worth her hippopotamus wrath.
“Diǎo sī,” I accidentally say without thinking, trying the phrase on my tongue.
Frank/Paul looks shocked. “Excuse me?”
“I have nothing to say to you, and I don’t believe you have anything to say to me.”
“Iris—” he begins.
“Please don’t contact me anymore,” I say firmly.
I’m honestly surprised by my own answer.
Then I stand up, pay the bill, and don’t even look back.
After I leave the coffee shop, I find myself picking up a Forbes Asia at a newsstand and browsing the headlines. As I walk to Wangfujing Snack Street to buy an assortment of deep-fried bugs and crunchy doughnuts, I circle the Top 10 marketing companies in Asia. When I start my internship at Feng Construction Corp, I’m going to help by promoting events for Uncle Dai’s investors. I wonder if I could become a successful entrepreneur by the time I’m twenty-one. I could literally become a millionairess, since money seems to run in our family’s DNA. I could even be on the cover of Forbes Asia and even the American Forbes one day. The possibilities are beautiful and infinite.
Excitedly, I begin to clap for myself. And a pigeon takes a huge shit on my head. I start to laugh and can’t stop.
WECHAT GROUP (#1WangFamily!!!)
IrisDaddy: How are you? We heard from your uncle that English teaching is going well?
Iris: It’s fun but hard. I’m reading the kids Archie comics and even learning grammar myself. I have to know prepositions and pronouns in order to teach it hahahahaha. My vocabulary has improved too.
IrisDaddy: Hahaha that’s good.
Iris: Sometimes I read my GED book to more advanced students and we learn together.
IrisDaddy: Hahaha.
IrisDaddy: How is Ruby?
Iris: She’s good. She likes teaching but is more interested in rescuing Beijing’s stray dogs.
Iris: Also she tied for first place with her Miss Piggy mastiff!!!! Someone from Germany had a cool Elmo terrier.
IrisDaddy: Good for her.
Iris: We start our internship at Feng Corp next week!
IrisDaddy: Wow. Make sure you listen to Uncle Dai!
* * *
WECHAT GROUP (#1WangFamily!!!)
Mom: We are so proud of you.
IrisDaddy: You are doing amazing work. Uncle Dai sent us the article from South China Morning News!
Mom: You are even on the Beijing News and China Daily!
IrisDaddy: I can’t believe you have been teaching English for three whole months!
Iris: ME TOO.
IrisDaddy: This is the longest you have ever done anything!
Iris: I KNOW!!!!
Mom: Did you get the box of Twix and Oreos we sent you? There’s another box of Snickers for Ruby and Mars Bars for Uncle and Auntie on its way.
Iris: YUM! Thank you!!!
WECHAT GROUP (#1WangFamily!!!)
IrisDaddy: Am I talking to Iris?
Iris: It’s me, Dad.
IrisDaddy: Haven’t heard from Iris in a long time. Uncle Dai keeps you so busy at his company. How do I know it’s you?
Iris: Umm … ask me a question?
IrisDaddy: Okay, what is the square root of 25?
Iris: I don’t know!
IrisDaddy: Okay, it’s my daughter. How did you pass your GED?
Iris: Hey, I studied hard. Ruby helped me.
Mom: We miss you. Are you sure you don’t want to come home?
Iris: Yes. I love Beijing!
Mom: Dad and I are booking flights to see you at Christmas. We are so PROUD of you!
IrisDaddy: We love you so much! Can’t wait, one more month before we see you. Send us a selfie when you finish work.
WECHAT GROUP (#1WangFamily!!!)
IrisDaddy: We just got to JFK. So many delays because of the snow. We have to pay extra for overweight luggage. Too many Xmas presents.
IrisDaddy: Ruby really likes those Snickers bars …
Iris: Hahahaha I know! She is obsessed with American candy bars.
Mom: How’s it going?
Iris: Fine.
IrisDaddy: Okay, good. I heard you are dating another boy?
Iris: No boy.
IrisDaddy: Hahaha, right.
IrisDaddy: Iris always has a boy.
Iris: Guess what?!! I got into NYU SHANGHAI!!!
Mom: Are you serious?!!
IrisDaddy: Great joke.
IrisDaddy: Hahaha.
Iris: No seriously, I GOT IN!!!!!!!
IrisDaddy: Right.
Iris: You don’t believe me?
IrisDaddy: LOL
Mom: Hahaha.
Iris: I GOT INTO COLLEGE!!!