“No, you were right. She only cares about herself.”
He pauses.
“What happened?”
“Oh, you know, I found out she was sleeping with Blake during our entire relationship. No biggie.”
At first, he’s shocked.
Then he heaves a bitter scoff.
“Of course she was.”
The reminder feels like a stab to the stomach. That’s right, I lost my oldest friend today. Oh, and my job.
Can this day fuck off?
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine.” I muster a faint smile. “With friends like that, you don’t need enemies, right?”
“If it makes you feel any better, I know a guy who’s going to get the beating of his life at training this week.”
I let out a laugh.
“I’m sorry, did I just get a laugh?” he teases. “I’m just saying I might not know where we stand if you still laugh at my jokes.”
“Sorry. Won’t happen again.” I fight a smile.
“Hey, for what it’s worth…” He nudges my shoulder. “I’m really proud of you.”
I know he’s referring to my standing up to Zoey.
“Thanks.”
I’m proud of myself, too.
In his own, clumsy way, Will was always looking out for me. He tried to warn me from the start.
“I’m not surprised she lied to you though,” I begin. “She told me she’d go after the guy I like since we’re not friends anymore.”
I only realize what I’ve done when his mouth dips open.
“The guy you like, huh?” he smirks.
Shit, shit, shit.
“Does that mean I still have a chance?” He chews on his bottom lip, his eyes gleaming with hope.
Stop looking so damn cute.
“Will.” I draw a breath. “We’ve been through this before. Sure, you may feel something for me, but… you don’t want a relationship. You made that more than clear last week. So, what do you want from me?”
It isn’t lost on me that I asked him that exact question the first time we kissed. He pauses, and for a second there, I think he’s going to bail. He has that look in his eyes, the one that shows up whenever we get too close to something real.
Only this time, he fights it.
He stands his ground, refusing to let the fear win.
“Everything,” he breathes.
“What?”
“Fucking everything, Kass. That’s what I want from you.”
He steps closer.
I let him.
“I want your control freak tendencies. I want your OCD, your quirks and kinks, your sense of humor. I want your big heart, that infuriating habit you have of bending over backwards to please others.” His fingers graze the outline of my jaw. “I want you, Kass. All of you. No more, no less.”
Sorry, Kass can’t reply at the moment.
She’s busy melting into a puddle.
“And just so you know,” he continues, “last week, when you didn’t answer my texts, I thought I was going to die. Breaking my own fucking leg would’ve been more fun than living without your snarky replies for this long.”
I bite back a chuckle.
“I never had to worry about feeling this way. I never had to worry about feeling anything, really. Because before you…” He’s at a loss for words. “Let’s just say I haven’t let myself care like this in a very long time.”
I’m scared what he really means is…
Not since Lyla.
It bothers me that I still don’t know anything about her. Who is she? His ex? A casual hookup? Looking back, I realize I don’t know much about Will’s life either. I know about his past, his tumultuous, difficult childhood, but I’ve never seen his house, heard about his mom post-homelessness. But damn… it’s so easy to forget all this when he looks at me like that.
His hand leaves my face, descending to my waist, and that simple touch is enough to make my thoughts blurry.
“I want to be with you, Kassidy Kingston. It scares me shitless. But it’s true.”
My brain rejects the information.
Rebooting the computer.
Please hold.
Did he just say what I think he just said?
He shakes his head. “Shit, why the hell do people put themselves through this? I can’t believe they haven’t banned feelings yet.”
A laugh escapes me.
I want to cry, kiss him, and punch him all at once. He’s put me through so much, but now that he’s pouring his heart out, I’m right back to square one.
“Please say something.” I love how desperate he is.
How the tables have turned.
“Let me get this straight. You believe in relationships now?”
He hesitates.
“No.”
Was he messing with me?
“But I believe in being with you.”
Pretty sure my smile takes up my whole face.
“So… Does that mean you’re my boyfriend?”
“You can call me whatever you want, as long as at the end of the day, you’re mine.”
Cause of death: Will’s lines. I stretch my neck for a clear shot of his features. He’s tense, anxiously awaiting my answer.
“Okay, boyfriend.”
He smiles, angles my chin forward, and kisses me hard. Deep. Senseless. I reciprocate the kiss without thinking, an all-too-familiar rush bursting through my veins as I wind my arms around his neck and mash my chest against his.
I can’t imagine how hard this confession must’ve been for him. That’s Will. The guy who makes everybody laugh but never truly laughs himself. He can barely get through one sentence without slipping a hundred jokes inside.
So, a whole-ass declaration?
Give this man a prize.
I’ll give him a prize all right. Cupping my ass through my leggings, he grunts, gives my cheeks a squeeze, and hoists me up into his arms. My legs clamp around his waist as he carries me to the bed.
Except he doesn’t carry me to the bed.
He nails my body to the wall.
Holy f… Against the wall?
Yes, please.
His fingers clutch at the hem of my shirt, jerking the fabric over my head in haste. If he spent half as much time obsessing over our almost-sex as I did, we’re not going to wait long. God, we were so stupid. He wasn’t even wearing protection.
This would’ve been a terrible idea.
But that’s what we are. What we’ve always been. We’re a terrible, stupid-as-fuck, earth-shattering idea. And here. Now. We’re going to do way more than break the rules.
We’re going to completely forget them.
Planting my feet to the ground, Will tugs my leggings down my legs, stretching hot, greedy kisses all over my stomach in passing. He’s stripped me down to my underwear before I can blink. It’s only fair that I return the favor. Hooking a hand at the back of his neck, I urge him upward, allowing our lips to reconnect as I fumble with his belt. Try as I may, I can’t seem to get his damn pants off. It’s like we can’t bear to let go of each other long enough for me to see what I’m doing.
“Hold on.” He laughs against my mouth, shooing my hands away and unbuckling his belt himself.
The second his jeans trickle to the floor, he snakes a hand around me to unclasp my silk bralette. I kept it on last time, but I’m fully exposed to him now. I can’t help feeling self-conscious. I don’t exactly have the biggest rack, and the first guy to ever see that rack ended up screwing everything with a heartbeat behind my back. Maybe it’s me.