“It feels like a betrayal.”
“I know. But where is Jack?”
Damien looked confused by my question, but he answered. “In the Other World with Nyx.”
“Do you think he’s happy?”
His haunted expression softened into a smile. “I’m sure he is.”
“Even though you’re not there with him?”
“Yes. Even though I’m not there with him. Okay, I get your point. It would be terrible if I thought Jack was unhappy and unable to go on without me. It just seems different because I’m the one left alive.”
“Will you try to give yourself permission to be happy? If not for yourself, for Jack?” I asked.
“I will.” He sighed. “But it’s odd timing for all of this to be happening, isn’t it? Especially with Jack and me in the middle of Aphrodite’s vision.”
“It is. I don’t understand it at all. But this isn’t the first time I don’t understand evil.”
Damien paused and tapped a finger on a thin stack of papers that I realized was a copy of Neferet’s journal. “I think we need to keep in mind that according to her own words, Neferet didn’t begin as evil. I’m not even completely sure she realized that she was turning to Darkness. It seems she was simply looking for a savior, and then power so that she would never be in a position of needing to be saved again.”
“How do we move forward keeping that in mind?” I was glad Damien was a fast reader, and that he’d voiced thoughts that’d been circling around in my mind since I read Neferet’s journal, too.
“I’m not sure yet, but I have a feeling we need to remember Neferet was courted by Darkness well before she was Marked.”
“Okay, well, I’ll keep that in mind.” I turned a couple of the old books Damien had spread around him, checking their spines. “Did you find a good protection spell yet?”
“I’ve found several already. I marked some pages here, here, and here.” Bookmarks feathered out of the books he slid over to my side of the table. “Any of them would do, but you don’t need a so-so spell. You need one that speaks to you specifically.”
“But how do I know what should speak to me if I don’t really know what I’m protecting against?”
“Well, Z, that’s why we’re here!” Stevie Rae rushed up to our table bringing her familiar positive attitude, her bright, shining smile, and Shaunee, Shaylin, and Aphrodite in her wake.
“You’re looking better,” I told my BFF as she slid into a chair beside me while Aphrodite took the chair on my other side.
“I feel better, too,” Aphrodite said.
I rolled my eyes. “I was talking to Stevie Rae, but you do look better.”
“What does the bumpkin have to feel better about?” Aphrodite squinted her eyes at Stevie Rae. “You and Bird Boy have a tiff?”
“No,” Stevie Rae said. Then she looked at Damien. “What’s a tiff?”
He answered without looking up from the text he was studying. “Tiff—a petty quarrel, especially one between friends or lovers.”
“Oh. Thanks. Like I said—no. Rephaim and I are just fine. I’ve been a little homesick, that’s all.”
“Homesick? You’re in Chicago still, right?” Aphrodite asked.
“Yep.”
“That’s a city. Not quite New York, but still decidedly better than Tulsa, which is really just an oil slick on steroids,” Aphrodite said.
“I love Tulsa,” Stevie Rae bristled. “And it’s not some dang oil slick. It’s home.”
“Trade ya,” Aphrodite said.
“Any day!” Stevie Rae shouted.
“Uh, how about we redirect this energy into something positive—like trying to help me find the right protection spell. Later we’ll talk about making some moves.” I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. “Hey, are all of you homesick?”
Damien sighed. “I love New York. It’s true that it doesn’t sleep. That’s part of its charm and its neurosis.”
“That didn’t answer my question,” I said.
“I’m homesick,” Damien said.
“I’m loving NOLA,” Shaunee said. “But I’m not a Tulsa native like you guys. And I know this is shocking, but for a fire girl I’ve decided that I really like living close to the ocean.”
“So, your nonhomesickness doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Erik Night happens to be filming in New Orleans?” Shaylin waggled her brows at Shaunee.
“Maybe a little.”
“You two are really a thing?” Aphrodite said. “Exclusively?”
“Apparently,” Shaunee said.
“Our boy Erik isn’t sampling all the young starlets on set?” Aphrodite pushed.
Shaunee pierced Aphrodite with her dark eyes. “Your boy Erik messed around. My Erik doesn’t. I’m not even sure why he doesn’t. I’ve given him his freedom. Told him no damn way am I gonna spend my energy worrying about whether or not he can keep his pants zipped. But he insists I’m who he wants. I don’t even think about it anymore. He comes home to me after shooting everyday. And, let’s just say his enthusiasm for coming home to me is obvious. Starlets? Apparently they can’t compete with a mixture of brown sugar and fire, baby.”
“Huh. Well, that’s a surprise,” Aphrodite said. “And you’re totally right about the brown sugar thing. White boys definitely need to broaden their dating horizons. I’m not as sure about the fire part, but it’s obviously working for you.” Then she added, “I’m happy for you two.”
Shaunee blinked in surprise, but she smiled at Aphrodite. “Thank you. I’m happy for me, too. And I’m perfectly content in NOLA.”
“What about you, Shaylin? How’s San Francisco treating you?” I asked.
“The weather’s weird. It’s cold in the summer and nice in the winter. But I’m getting used to it. And I really, really like the fog. Plus, there’s a big queer community. Nicole and I feel at home.”
“Good to know,” I said. “Damien, Stevie Rae, when we get this new mess figured out, how about you two stick around Tulsa for awhile. We’ll talk about making some changes.”
“I’d appreciate that,” Damien said.
“So would Rephaim and I. He doesn’t say much about being homesick, but I think that’s mostly ’cause I’ve been so miserable and he doesn’t want to heap any more shit on the turd truck.”