The television breaks part upon impact on the concrete of the parking lot. Dropping from a second floor will do that to electronics. The broken pieces take their place among the clothing scattered on the ground.
“Better make it an hour,” I say with an embarrassed smile.
The woman on the balcony is shouting as she empties belongings onto the ground, Lily frantically picking them up. Her hair is longer than I remember it being, certainly it wasn’t as disheveled as it is now. I guess when your stuff is being thrown from a window, your vanity goes right along with it.
I’m not surprised to find her in this situation, monogamy isn’t her forte. She could walk into a nightclub and instantly attract people on both sides of the fence—and make no mistake, she played both sides. She had enough sex in high school to satisfy both of us and even set me up to get laid by one of her friends, Jaime Dupree during junior year of high school. Jamie was the only person who could match Lily’s sex drive, and when I protested about being entrant number sixteen into Club Jaime, Lily would have none of it.
“Remember when you got your first car?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t care about mileage right?”
“Nope.”
“Well, the same thing applies here. Don’t worry about whose driven it before, just be happy it’s yours to drive now.”
Lily and I bonded over our love for hip-hop and disdain for our parents. When they would go out of town, we’d take the Mercedes on road trips to to hip-hop clubs in other cities. We’d find partners and have make out sessions in the car before dropping them off at home, vowing to keep our secrets with each other. We would spend hours debating who the best rappers were and dreaming of leaving our parents house, starting a hip-hop magazine and contributing to the culture that kept us believing that we could be someone. As I watch her gather her belongings, I feel a twinge of regret for how far we’ve drifted apart. I didn’t realize until now, for two people as close as we were, that indifference was betrayal. Lily needed me to stand with her as she did for me in high school.
I watch from a distance and briefly consider driving back to the airport and telling Dr. Felt that it didn’t work out. Knowing her, she’d see right through the bullshit.
As I watch Lily scrounging for her belongings like an animal, I feel a deep sadness.
How did I let it get here? Obviously that question could apply to the last six months of my life, but I mean my relationship with Lily. Why is it that, as human beings, we wait until everything is burned to the ground? Why does it take that for us to realize it could’ve been prevented? I’m unsure how to approach this though. When someone tells you they never wanna see you again, that’s pretty definitive. It’s like watching a movie that’s great but the main character dies. You want a sequel but, the way the story played out, it’s not within reason. Plus, by the looks of it, Lily has enough on her plate without me adding to it.
I step out of the car and, as I get closer, the conversation becomes clear. The woman on the balcony is accusing Lily of cheating. I could’ve told her that would happen. Lily is way too free spirited to be hamstrung to one person for long.
“Hey Lil,” I say.
She whips around greets me with a look of confusion and disgust.
“As if my day couldn’t get any better,” she says, shaking her head, “what are you doing here.”
“Who the hell is that, are you fucking him too?” her partner yells from the balcony.
“Actually, I’m her brother Miles,” I give a small wave that’s probably more creepy than intended.
“The one with the dead wife and kids?”
I know I shouldn’t expect sympathy from someone I just met—especially one being played by my sister—but the bluntness of her description of my current situation is jarring nonetheless. It does get Lily to redirect her focus away from me for a second.
“That’s my niece and nephew. I’d choose my words carefully if I were you.” Lily’s veins bulge out of her neck, which is never a good sign. If Lily is one thing, it’s loyal—well to her family, at least. She’d never met any of my children but, even in death, she protects their memory.
“So I ask again Miles, what are you doing here?” she asks, turning back to me.
“I really just wanna talk. You’re the only person I have right now… well, you and John.”
“Who the hell is John?”
“This homeless guy I met at a coffee shop near your school. I’ll explain later, can we go somewhere and talk?”
“I told you already, we have nothing to talk about. Why is that so hard for you to understand?”
I’ve always marveled at how women can field requests, deduce them, and then ask a question that makes you feel stupid for asking in the first place. All women have this ability. It’s like God felt bad for the wage gap and discrimination, so he gifted them this little gem of a skill. “You have no idea what my life is like right now.”
“Always the selfish one. Not sure if you noticed, but this isn’t exactly the best time.”
“I couldn’t help but notice this is one of those moments where you might need me.”
Her partner seems to have run out of things to throw and joins the fray, “Excuse me … but we have—”
“Shut the fuck up!” We yell in unison, forcing her partner to retreat inside the apartment.
Just like old times, we found someone that insulted both of us and the dynamic duo rides again—at least temporarily.
“Did Mom send you here?”
“Yes, but I asked for your information. She’s getting divorced, by the way.”
Lily cracks a smile at this. She wants to hate me, to tell me to get out of her life, but she can’t. If the situation was reversed, it would be the same. There’s always people in your life you give a pass, no matter their transgressions. You can try to convince yourself that’s not the case, but there will always be someone in your life that you need to know is on your side. We’d been through too much together to truly cut each other off. She’s gonna make me grovel and there will be the occasional asshole remark but, in the long run, I think we’ll be alright.
Out the corner of my eyes I see an object flying toward us and push Lily out of the way as the glass shatters on the ground between us. We take cover behind an old truck as glass continues to rain down.
“You sure still know how to pick them, Lily.”
“My life has actually been pretty good lately.”
“We’re dodging projectiles in the parking lot of an apartment complex, just what part of the good life is this?”
“She’s actually a good girl, just a little crazy sometimes.”
We share a laugh about it and, for a moment, there’s a sense of normalcy between us.
“I’m here for the week at least, and you’re now somewhat temporarily homeless. You wanna get outta here?”
“Ok. But this doesn’t mean I forgive you and, once we’re outta here, you drop me off somewhere,” she says as she picks up a brick and sneaks around the car.
“Got it.”
I break for the car and, as I open the door, I hear the sound of a window smashing. As we pull up, I notice Lily sprinting away from a maroon Volvo with a shattered back window. Lily hops in the passenger seat and Jah guns it down the street.