“I need to get paid so I can leave. Dad will be worried.”
His gaze is back on mine. “The money isn’t that good, Penelope. Why do you stay here to watch Zella? Most of the sitters can only handle one or two visits. It’s almost as though you want to be here.” He touches my cheek, making me flinch. “What is it, sweetheart? You have a crush on an older man? It’s naughty to use a child to seek the affections of her father.”
Is this fucker serious right now?
“Ew,” I grind out. “I need money, not a sugar daddy.”
He barks out a laugh. “Maybe you could have both.”
“Gross.”
“There,” he says. “Finally, the truth comes out. You’re not in it hoping you get some dick, so there are other reasons.”
“Money,” I spit out. “I just want the money.”
He studies me for a long time before he fishes out his wallet. Pulling out some twenties, he folds them and then leans forward, sliding them into the back pocket of my jeans. My blood runs cold at his touch. When he grabs my ass, I yelp.
“If you ever want more money, just ask. I haven’t been laid in fucking forever. I’d hand over my entire goddamn paycheck to get you in my bed, sweetheart. Just how bad do you want money?”
I’d rather throw myself in front of a moving train than willingly ever climb into bed with such a creep.
“I’m seventeen,” I spit out at him. “You’re like forty-five.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” he says with a dark laugh. “Like I said, it’s been ages since I got my dick wet. And trust me, a teenage pussy isn’t the worst place for that to happen. Just let me know how much and I’ll make it happen.”
“I’ll think about it,” I lie, sidestepping his drunk ass and snagging up my bag. “I might be willing to negotiate.”
He boldly rubs his dick over his jeans. “Is that so?”
“Let Zella call her mom and talk to her.”
“Go home, Penelope. I’m fucking tired.”
Not needing to be told twice, I bolt. He’s drunk as hell and probably won’t remember this conversation. I, however, can’t erase the sick feeling roiling through me.
I’m in a daze the whole way home, through my shower, and as I crawl into my bed.
I need…
I need…
My hand shakes as I pick up my phone and text Terrence.
Me: Start talking, Smash.
Smash: Is this you letting me in?
Me: Not sure why you’d want inside, but yes. It’s terrible and dark and lonely. I can barely stand to be here myself.
Smash: Which is exactly why you need to let me in. Talk to me, Penny.
Me: I’m scared.
Smash: Of what…those guys bothering you again?
If only it were that simple.
Me: Bigger stuff.
Smash: Did someone hurt you?
Yes.
No.
Me: More like scared me.
Smash: Who do I need to kill?
Jack Henderson. I choke on a sob.
Me: It doesn’t matter.
Smash: It does to me.
Me: You like me, Terrence, but you don’t know me. If you did, you wouldn’t like me.
Smash: Try me. Let me know you.
Me: I hate sounds. Especially repetitive ones. Some days, I nearly lose my mind from it.
Smash: I’m still here.
Me: I can’t stand the idea of people touching me.
Smash: I came to both these conclusions on my own, you know. This isn’t a new revelation to me. I’m still here.
He is.
He shouldn’t be, but he is.
I’m selfish in this moment because I’d rather deny sweet little Zella the opportunity to have a loving mother and father—a complete family—because I want her dad all to myself.
Me: I’m difficult to love.
Smash: You can repeat the lies you tell yourself all you want, Penny, but I sure as fuck can’t hear them.
Me: Stop talking.
Smash: Only because you asked sweetly.
Me: Good night, Smash.
Smash: Night, Zero. We’ll continue our talk soon.
Terrence
Dread.
It consumes me as I stare through the glass of Cal’s windshield.
Grandma’s house.
Sure, there are lots of good memories here and Grandma has taken care of me like she were my own mother, but there’s a sense of dread that has hung over me like a cloud ever since I woke up from my coma.
The moment I go inside and clean out my shit, I’m officially turning a new chapter in my life. I’m manning up. Letting go of my youth. Starting adulthood…finally.
With a heavy sigh, I exit Cal’s truck I borrowed and trot up to the front door. Before I let myself in, someone pulls in the driveway beside the truck. I look over my shoulder, pleased but surprised to see an orange Jeep.
Penny shuts off the Jeep and climbs out, pulling a bag over her shoulders. “Hey, Smash.”
“Hey, beautiful.”
She walks right up to me, her head tilting up so she can look at me. “Gross.”
A laugh tumbles out of me. “I tell you you’re beautiful and you tell me gross. Learn to take a compliment, mean-ass.”
Her lips quirk on one side. “I meant you, standing there with your cheesy grin and trying to woo me is gross.”
“Then why’re you smiling if it’s so gross?” I tuck an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “I think you secretly like it.”
“You’ll never know.” Her blue eyes twinkle.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” I murmur, dipping my lips to her forehead and pressing a kiss there. “I can read your eyes now. I don’t need your lips to smile for me. Your eyes are the glimpse inside.”
I pull away and she’s frowning again.
“I want to kiss you,” I admit, searching her eyes that communicate so much. “Last time, I scared you off, though.” I rub my thumb along her lip, wishing like hell she would let me do it again.
Her brows furrow harder. “Stop talking, Smash. You know my answer.”
With those words, she stands on her toes, parting her lips for me. I don’t have to be told twice. Gently, I press my lips to hers, needing to taste her more than I need air right now. I groan when her tongue lashes against mine, greedy and ravenous. She gets spooked so easily, so holding her is probably a bad idea, but I need her in my arms. I slide my hand to her back, pulling her against me. A tiny mewl escapes her, sending currents of desire straight to my dick.
She tastes like mint and madness.
A delicious, fresh tease into the unknown.
That’s what it is with her. The unknown. Each second I spend with her is in some subspace I don’t recognize. I understand women, but not Penny. Penny is a mystery that I feel is my duty to unravel.
I will unravel her.
Thread by thread until I reach the very marrow of who she is.
I want her to be mine.
Scary as fuck since I’m not the guy who settles down whatsoever for a chick. Penny’s not some normal chick. She’s everything all the rest weren’t and more. I feel slighted that I’ve been wasting time with women who were only one sliver of what Penny is.
The accident changed me.
For the better.
Opened my fucking eyes.