A stupid favor. Everything we’ve done in the name of the Red Court was for something of no actual worth.
April continued, “The plan fell apart when the alarm was tripped early. But I stupidly tried to salvage it and ended up falling from the catwalks like I said. I think it scared everyone, because they left me there. And I haven’t seen any of them since. I was so angry when none of them came to see me in the hospital. Not even Haley. I had dedicated two years to the Red Court, yet she cared more about anonymity than seeing if I was ok. So I painted them as the bad guys and somehow recruited you on my side against them. I’m not the person I was when I joined the Red Court. I’m not the person I was when I lied to you. If I could change things, I would.”
“You wouldn’t have joined the Red Court?”
If April had never joined, her accident would have never happened.
“No, not that. I love my job and studying psychology. I am where I am because of the choices I made, but I’m happy. I would have never lied to you. If I could change that, I would. I wish I’d had the courage to tell you the truth.”
When she finished, I rose from her side. “Thank you for telling me.”
“What are you going to do?” April looked truly afraid now.
“What I’ve planned to do all along. It stops now, April.”
“Now that you know everything, can’t you just leave it all behind? You don’t have to do this for me anymore.”
“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for everyone the Red Court has ever hurt. I’ve gone this far, and I have to see this through. For myself as much as anyone else.”
“Please be careful. I know what some of them are like, and they won’t go down without a fight.”
Maybe I should have been scared, but I wasn’t. Maybe the smart thing would be to walk away, but I couldn’t. I bent down and kissed the top of April’s head. “It will be ok,” I whispered.
Then I walked out of her room and into my own. Firing up my laptop, I began to write. And I didn’t stop until Sunday night.
CHAPTER 45
THE SCHOOL WAS mostly abandoned when I arrived early on Monday morning. Only a few cars were scattered across the student lot. I grabbed my bag, heavy with supplies for the final step in my plan, and caught my reflection in the rearview mirror.
“You can do this.”
A sharp rap on my window startled me from my pep talk. A figure in a dark Heller hoodie stood next to the car, back to the blinding sun breaking over the horizon and face in shadow. I scrabbled for my pepper spray, convinced a Red Court member had sent someone here to murder me.
The figure leaned down.
“Chase?”
“I, uh, wanted to talk.” His eyes flicked around the lot, but there wasn’t anyone nearby. He looked paranoid, like I was going to reveal a Red Court ambush at any moment. I swallowed down my irritation. He had no reason to trust me. I was a liar. April wasn’t the only one who had a complicated relationship with the truth.
I climbed out of the car and checked my phone. “Ok.” I had to be in place in ten minutes, not exactly enough time for a heart-to-heart or whatever Chase had in mind. “Can you walk with me to the theater room?”
I didn’t wait for an answer before I started walking as quickly as I could. There were several very likely scenarios to come out of my confrontation with the Red Court and most of them weren’t great for me. I couldn’t handle another round of hearing why I was the worst. I sucked. I thought we’d moved on from that. Next.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
I pulled up short and spun around to face Chase. “You’re what?!” Thank goodness there was no one around to hear me roar at Chase. In my defense, an apology from Chase was about as likely as the entirety of the Red Court politely agreeing to disband over a nice cup of coffee.
He grimaced at my tone. “That day when you told me about the Red Court, I was angrier with myself and what I’d done than with you. I’m the one who made the choice to bargain with the Red Court.”
I dropped my bag to the ground and then promptly joined it. I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the inside of my arms. I was keyed up, true, but I didn’t think this was a hallucination or a stress dream. Chase sat down next to me and I risked a peek at his face. He looked concerned.
I laughed, embarrassed at my reaction. “I...appreciate the apology. But you don’t owe me anything.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were trying to stop the Red Court?”
Chase’s presence and apology shifted into focus.
Gideon, I swear to God I will wring your neck when I see you.
“Because it didn’t matter. Some of what you said about me was absolutely true. I got caught up in the worst of what the Red Court stands for.”
He looked at me, and it was then that I noticed his expression. He was looking at me the way he used to, like I was his favorite puzzle.
“I was tired of lying, and you deserved the truth.”
“I should have seen it,” he murmured.
A smile stretched my face. It felt unpracticed. I hadn’t had much to smile about recently. “Seen that I was trying to destroy the Red Court from within and went a little too far down the rabbit hole? Of course. How could you not?”
“I should have seen how conflicted you were. It was tearing you apart. I should have tried to help you.”
I shook my head and placed a hand on his. “It was something I had to do myself. Even Gideon couldn’t bring me to my senses.”
“I’ve been thinking that we both made mistakes with the Red Court, and that no one can understand what we went through better than each other.”
He was right. This was the first time we’d talked without our biggest secrets between us. We knew who the other was, even the darker parts, and we weren’t looking away.
My internal alarm clock chimed a reminder. I had somewhere to be. I stood up and heaved my bag onto my shoulder. “Well, it’s not over yet.”
“Right. Gideon mentioned something about that. What can I do to help?”
“Gideon might need a hand. He’ll be in Carson’s room in a few minutes. I need to do my part solo.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Positive. I’ve got this.”
“If anyone can do this, it’s you.”
Chase pulled me into a tight hug. I leaned my forehead against his chest, drinking in his spicy scent. “I missed scowling at you.”
“I missed being scowled at. It’s not enough to just beat you in everything anymore.” He looked down at me with a smile and I couldn’t help but laugh. “I want to be with you.”