How could I have let this happen? How could I have let someone take him? How could I have taken so long to rescue my destined from this hell?
With every step I took, my anger grew, and I latched onto it. Anger was easier to handle right now. Much better than the overwhelming guilt and heartache, much better than the fear still clenching my chest and icing my veins. Anger was easy, so I clung to it. Although, I made sure to keep my movements gentle so I didn’t hurt my sweet Lazarus.
The three of us headed out, and Iz and I ignored everything else, not caring in the least about all the questions everyone was asking us.
The only thing that mattered was getting Laz home, making him healthy, keeping him safe. Making sure he knew we cared about him.
Chapter 20
Isiah
The drive home was horrific. Laz had stayed curled up in Raph’s lap, but that didn’t stop him from whimpering when we went over big bumps or made a turn. He had woken up in the car, seeming a little more alert than before, so my healing had helped a little, at least. Raph still had the healing tonic, so he’d made Laz drink a little more as well. But I’d had to only catch glimpses in the rearview since I’d been driving. My hands hurt from gripping the wheel so tightly.
The Conclave had cleared out of our house the moment we’d found Laz, and when we walked inside, I wrinkled my nose. I’d have to straighten up the kitchen, but that was a worry for later. Right now, I only cared about our little human feeling safe and healing.
When Laz flinched at the sound of Raph setting the healing tonic down, I knew what I needed to do. Raph was being incredibly gentle, but I could practically see him vibrating with anger, and Laz couldn’t handle that right now. Not that I could blame my soul-pledged. I knew he’d latched onto that emotion to help him get through this. The anger wasn’t directed at Laz, but that didn’t matter. What Laz needed was patience and gentleness.
So once Raph set Laz on the couch to take a break before we tried to conquer the stairs, I walked over to Raph, cupped his cheek, and forced him to stare into my eyes so he could see how serious I was. “Raphael, you’re not helping.”
“He—”
“No.” I cut him off before his raised voice scared Laz. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Laz flinch, though, and from the wince on Raph’s face, he’d seen it as well. “Babe, I need you to calm down. Laz doesn’t need your anger.”
“I’m not angry at him.” He practically growled it.
“I know that, so does he, but you need to cool off. I’m going to take him upstairs and get him cleaned up for bed. I need you to burn off your energy before you come up there.”
“But—”
“Strengthen our wards. It needs to be done now that he’s here with us. Take care of that, use as much energy as you can, then you can come up. I’m too weak to help with the wards, anyway, so you’ve got to do it.”
He scanned my face for several seconds before he blew out a breath and nodded. “Alright.” Pulling away from me, he stepped over to Laz, who flinched again. Raph hesitated, but then he kneeled off to the side and very gently ran his finger over the back of Laz’s hand to get his attention. When Laz met his eyes, Raph said, “I’m strengthening our wards. They’ll keep us safe. You’re safe here, baby. You’re safe, okay? Izzy’s gonna help you get upstairs. We’re going to keep you safe. He’ll never touch you again.”
Laz swallowed and nodded. It wasn’t much, but at least he acknowledged him.
Raph hesitated before running his finger over his hand again. There weren’t many places to touch that weren’t injured or caked in blood.
As Raph passed me, I grabbed his arm, saying, “I’ll take care of him. I promise.”
“I know you will.” He kissed the side of my head before walking out the front door.
When the door closed, Laz flinched and turned wide, fearful eyes toward it, but then he saw me and breathed out in relief.
Slowly, I approached with Laz watching my every move. “Hey, treasure, let’s get you upstairs, yeah? We can clean you up and get you into some fresh clothes. Do you think you can walk?” I cringed internally. Maybe I should’ve had Raph carry him upstairs first. Laz had only managed a step or two inside after he’d asked Raph to put him down.
Laz gave me a single nod. I didn’t know if he was still in shock and that was why he wasn’t speaking right now, or if it was because his vocal cords were damaged and sore from… from all of the screaming he’d done while they were torturing him. I closed my eyes and took a breath so I didn’t let my own anger overcome me and scare the poor man.
Gently, I helped him stand, then put his arm over my shoulders, and we walked up the steps. It was slow going, and I took on most of his weight, but we eventually made it up to the bathroom.
He was breathing hard, so I pressed his butt against the counter so he could take a little break. Since he couldn’t hold himself up, I figured a bath was in order, so I got the tub going, then stood in front of him and bit my lip for a few seconds.
Taking all the bravery I had left, I said, “I’m, uh, gonna have to remove the blankets. I don’t think you can get in the tub on your own.” When he didn’t say anything, I moved closer and took hold of the edge of the blanket that was wrapped around him like a robe. “Is this okay? I’ll try not to peek.”
A flash of amusement flitted behind his eyes, but it was gone quickly. He nodded, so I gently pushed the blanket off his shoulders, trying not to eye his cock as I knelt to untie the blanket Raph must’ve tied around his waist in the car. Laz didn’t seem to mind or maybe he didn’t notice.
The tub was filled, so I turned off the water and helped maneuver him into it. Once he was in the water, I sighed in relief because I was trying my hardest not to make him uncomfortable. I grabbed a washcloth, handed it to him, and stepped back, saying, “I’ll wait right outside. Call me if you need me, okay?”
As I grabbed the bathroom door handle, Laz croaked, “Stay.” The word was so broken, so filled with fear and heartache, it made my chest lurch. It was the first word I’d heard him utter since he told Raph he didn’t want to go home.
Releasing the handle, I turned back around, only to see him staring at me fearfully. “I’ll stay.”
He blew out a relieved breath, so I leaned against the counter, facing sideways to give him a little privacy. The water splashed a little here and there, but when he started making a lot of noise, I turned to him.
Laz had the washcloth in one hand, his other arm out of the water, and he was scrubbing his skin so furiously, so hard, I could see it turning red. When he rubbed it enough it began bleeding a little, I rushed over, kneeled, and yanked the cloth out of his hands. That made him freeze and turn to me. The second he met my eyes, he burst into a gut-wrenching sob that tore my heart out.
I pulled his head to my chest and held him. His fingers dug into my arms as he cried and wailed into my neck.
“Shh. I’ve got you, Laz. I’ve got you. You’re safe. They can never hurt you again. I’ve got you.” I whispered reassurances over and over, holding on tight as my own eyes filled with tears, hardly noticing how water was soaking my clothes. He was hurting so badly, and all I could do was sit here and hold him. I wanted to take away his pain, I wanted to make him forget, I wanted to go back in time and stop him from being taken. But I couldn’t.