‘He certainly should have. When Jennifer was diagnosed, I tried to help. I offered to leave work and nurse her at home but she didn’t want me to. She put herself into palliative care in hospital and stayed there until she died.’
‘But what about her parents? Surely they would have offered to help care for her.’
‘Her parents were both dead. They were killed in a car accident when she was a teenager. Jennifer was raised by her grandparents. By the time she got cancer, they had passed away.’
‘I see. It sounds like there were no brothers or sisters either.’
‘No. She was an only child. The circumstances of her upbringing made her very self-sufficient. She didn’t like to need anyone. She was so damned tough at times. She told me once that she hadn’t wanted to fall in love with me. She confessed she was afraid of losing me. Yet in the end it was me who lost her.’ Sebastian’s heart squeezed tight as he shook his head from side to side.
‘What kind of cancer did she have?’
Sebastian’s normal practice would be to stop talking about Jennifer as soon as possible but he couldn’t seem to. ‘Inoperable brain cancer. It came from a melanoma. She died within weeks of her diagnosis.’
‘That’s so sad.’
‘People said it was a mercy she died so quickly but I couldn’t handle it. It was all too sudden.’
‘I can understand that. You didn’t have time to get used to the idea of her dying.’
Was that why he’d fallen apart afterwards? he wondered.
Only partly, he accepted.
‘Mum and I had two years to get used to her dying,’ Ruby said. ‘I valued that time I had with her. We became very close.’
‘I envy you. Jennifer didn’t want me to see her suffer, so she pushed me away. Every time I visited her in hospital she would tell me not to come again. I felt so helpless. Helpless and hopeless.’
‘That was wrong of her,’ Ruby said gently and Sebastian struggled not to cry.
‘But that’s no excuse for you not having her photos around,’ she went on, less gently.
‘That’s a matter of opinion,’ he said gruffly. ‘People handle things differently, Ruby. I suggest we change the subject. It’s going to be hot again today. How about coming for a swim with me later?’
‘Am I allowed to wear my bikini?’ she said cheekily.
‘Absolutely not. That bikini is the work of the devil. That’s what started me off on the road to ruin and damnation, seeing you in that bikini. So no, Ruby, I don’t want you to wear that bikini. I don’t want you to wear anything at all,’ he finished up, smiling the sexiest smile.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
RUBY DID HER best to stay cool in the face of the wickedest of temptations, knowing instinctively that if she kept on giving in to this man, she would lose control of her life, and her emotions. She really didn’t want to fall in love with Sebastian any more than he wanted her to fall in love with him. He didn’t seem to appreciate the danger, however. But she did. It was bad enough that they’d started sharing confidences about their lives. Already she felt sorry for him. Already she wanted to somehow fix him.
Compassion and passion were a dangerous mix. Or they were where her soft heart was concerned.
‘Sorry, Sebastian,’ she said without a hint of the rampant desire raging within her. ‘I have plans for today. First I have to do some Christmas shopping this morning. Then I have some studying to do this afternoon. I have an assignment coming up.’
‘Can’t you at least spare me a couple of hours? Surely you’ll need a break from studying at some stage.’
‘No. When I study I need total concentration. Going skinny dipping with you would certainly break that concentration, as you very well know.’
‘Fair enough. But I can’t stand the thought of today without spending some time with you. So how about I go shopping with you?’
‘You want to go shopping with me?’ she asked, stunned. ‘What if someone sees us together?’
‘Like who? Gloria’s in Adelaide and my mother never goes shopping on a Sunday. No one else matters.’
‘I don’t know about this, Sebastian,’ she said worriedly. It was a strangely intimate thing, to go shopping together. Almost as bad as sharing confidences about your past life.
‘I’ll buy you lunch out,’ he tempted, coming around to pull her into his arms.
She gasped at the feel of his near nakedness pressed against her, her heart racing as desire threatened to overwhelm her. His mouth sought hers and it was so exciting, his kiss, his nearness.
The sound of the house phone ringing startled both of them. Ruby reefed out of Sebastian’s arms and snatched it up, glad of the distraction. If the kissing had gone on much longer, she’d have been back in bed with him. And she really didn’t want to be that weak.
‘It’s your mother,’ she told Sebastian as she put the phone to her ear.
‘Good morning, Frieda,’ she said breezily. ‘How are you this morning?’
‘Very well thank you, Ruby,’ she returned, her voice not at all fragile. ‘I just wanted to call and thank you for last night. It was a wonderful dinner. You are a wonderful girl. I hope Sebastian appreciates you.’
‘I’m sure he does, Frieda,’ she said, a naughty smile itching to break out.
‘You’d make some man a wonderful wife.’
‘You think so?’
‘I do indeed.’
‘That’s very nice of you to say so. I’m afraid I have to go, Frieda. I’m in the middle of making your son’s breakfast,’ she lied.
‘He’s a fool, my son,’ she muttered and Ruby pretended not to hear.
‘What was that, Frieda?’
‘Nothing. You go, my dear. Thank you again.’ And she clicked off.
‘Your mother thinks I would make some man a wonderful wife,’ she murmured when Sebastian drew her back into his embrace.
That stopped him in his tracks. ‘I’m sure she does,’ he bit out. ‘Why do you think I want to keep us a secret?’
‘She just wants you to be happy, Sebastian. Mothers are like that.’
‘Marriage is not necessarily the recipe for happiness. You should have told her you don’t want to get married either.’
‘Perhaps I should have. Now, I have to get us some breakfast,’ she said, pulling out of his arms. ‘Time is a-wasting. I’d like to get to the shops before they close.’