Honey and something else, Undrea realized as Mattie took the lid off. Her own concoction, no doubt.
Mattie scooped a little of the mix out on her finger and swiped it across Ethan’s forehead. “Verum monstrant,” she whispered.
The streak of honey turned black.
Mattie’s eyes gleamed with a cold light. “That’s not a good sign. Whatever magic she used, it was something heavy. And since I don’t know what she did to him, I don’t know exactly how to help him.”
Undrea swallowed, feeling sick to her stomach. “This is my fault. All of this has happened to him because of me. I have to do something.”
Mattie tipped her head and gave Undrea a stern look. “This isn’t your fault. It’s Nina’s. You didn’t make this happen.”
“Right, fine, but if he’d never met me, he wouldn’t be lying here comatose on my bed. You can’t argue that.”
Mattie sighed. “We’ll help him. I’m just not sure how. If we only knew what she did to him…” She glanced at Ethan, then back at Undrea. “You can’t remember what she said?”
Undrea shook her head. “It sounded like Latin—Ethan even said that—but she spoke the words so softly, they were impossible to make out. I’m sorry. I wish I could remember.”
Mattie gazed at her with a strange expression. “Ethan knew it was Latin?”
“He seemed to think that. He’s a smart guy. That didn’t seem weird to me.”
“Me either. But it means he heard her.” Mattie’s brows lifted slightly. “You might be able to make him tell you.”
“How would I—no.” Undrea shook her head as she realized what Mattie was suggesting. “I’m not doing that.”
“He won’t know. He’s out cold.”
A chill swept down Undrea’s spine. She’d turned her back on that side of herself a long time ago. The dark side of herself. The deadly side.
Sure, Mattie was asking her to use it in a positive way, but that felt like opening a very dangerous door. How many times could she use it before something went wrong? Before her darker urges took over?
Because if the answer was only once, she’d be in all kinds of trouble.
Mattie put her hand on Undrea’s arm. “I know what I’m asking. I know how much you want nothing to do with those abilities, but this might be your chance to use those powers for good.”
Maybe. But it didn’t feel that way to Undrea. “And it might unleash something in me I can’t shut down. He’s already at risk of my powers. This could make it worse.” She shook her head. “I’m afraid of it taking over. And if it works, how do we explain knowing what curse Nina put him under?”
“I won’t let the darker side of you take control.” Mattie shrugged. “And we’ll just say you heard her and told me and I figured it out.”
“But that would be a lie.”
“A white lie. And only you and I will know it.” Mattie looked at Ethan again. “I don’t know how else to help him without understanding what she did to him.”
Undrea put her hand to her throat, torn with trying to decide what to do.
“It might not even work,” Mattie said. “Nina might be more powerful than you. You might not be able to reach him through whatever spell he’s under.”
“I know what you’re doing,” Undrea said. “You’re using psychology on me.”
“Is it working?”
“A little.” Undrea didn’t know what else to do. She reached out and took Ethan’s hand. “Forgive me.”
Undrea couldn’t believe she was about to do the one thing she’d vowed never to do in her life. Not knowingly anyway. Not with this kind of intention.
“What do you need me to do?” Mattie asked.
“Protect him from me. Afterwards, I’m going to want to feed. And if I get ahold of him…”
Mattie nodded. “I know. I won’t let you. Is there something else in the house that will get rid of that craving?”
Undrea glanced toward the living room. “Yes, but don’t let me near the aquarium. There’s plenty of seafood in the freezer. If that doesn’t seem like it’s doing the trick, give me sugar. That can often balance out the urges.”
“Okay, I’ll make sure that’s what you have.”
Undrea chewed on her bottom lip. “I need to fill the tub too. I’ll have to shift as soon as I can after I feed. It’s the best way to reset myself—you know what I mean?”
“Yep.”
“But you might have to force me into the water.”
“I can do that,” Mattie said.
“Whatever it takes. Use magic if you have to.”
“I promise. I’ll get you in there.”
Undrea felt like crying. “I really don’t want to do this.”
“I know. But I don’t see what other choice we have.”
“Me, either.” She glanced at Bowie. “Sorry about this, buddy, but I promise what you’re about to see and hear is just to help your dad. I swear.”
Bowie meowed and lifted one paw.
Mattie grinned. “He’s a sweet cat. And I’m not just saying that because he’s dressed like a bumblebee.”
“He really is sweet. He hasn’t left Ethan’s side since I got him in here.”
“Maybe he shouldn’t be here during this. In case it freaks him out. The last thing we need is to worry about Ethan’s pet.”
“Yeah, that’s a good point. I’ll put him in the hall bath where his litter box is, then I’ll start filling the tub.” Undrea gave Bowie a little scratch on the head before picking him up. “Come on, little man. Just for a few minutes.”
“I’ll get the seafood out.” Mattie followed her out of the room. She hung by the hall bath as Undrea took Bowie in. “Hey, um, this won’t affect me, right?”
Undrea shook her head. “No. Only men.” She held Bowie close, petting his velvety skin. “Please don’t be afraid of me. I mean, it’s okay to be afraid of me when I’m not myself, but I don’t want this to make you afraid of me beyond that. You’re the best friend I have, Mattie. I don’t want to lose you.”
Mattie smiled. “You won’t. I promise.”
Undrea nodded. “Okay.” But Mattie hadn’t seen the dark side of her. No one had. She wasn’t even fully sure what she was capable of. She just knew that darkness lived inside every one of her kind.
She closed the door on Bowie, then went into her bathroom and started filling the tub for the second time that night. Then she took a long, hard look at herself in the mirror. She could see the monster she was about to become. And if it didn’t make Mattie afraid, then nothing probably would.
Steam began to fog the edges of the mirror.
She went back out and found Mattie in the kitchen, getting the bagged seafood out of the freezer.
Mattie turned toward Undrea. “Should I put this stuff in the microwave to defrost it? It’s all rock-solid. Also, I sent Corette a text and gave her the details. She wanted to know Nina’s full name. Do you know it?”