“And …” He starts, then pauses, and swallows thickly. “What did he say?”
“That you’ll hurt me,” I answer, seeing the words as if they physically slammed into him. He doesn’t even try to keep how he’s feeling from me. “Though, he said it wouldn’t be intentional,” I add, as if that would make it better.
“He doesn’t know me well enough to be giving you those thoughts, Olivia.”
“He sees your pain, honey,” I mumble softly. “He thinks that I can ease that for you.”
“You do,” he answers immediately.
“He was coming from a good place. He’s a good man.”
“I have not one doubt about that, but it still wasn’t his place to put those doubts in your head.”
“He thinks I’m your person.”
My eyes round when that comes out of my mouth. His face relaxes quickly, and I get the gift of seeing it change to a boyish expression with not one ounce of pain making it look hard.
“He isn’t wrong.”
“Drew,” I breathe, blown away by his words and what he’s showing me by looking at me that softly.
“You know I have a past, but I don’t want you to doubt that I’m with you because of whatever was said. I’ve lived a long time alone, Liv. I’ve been a ghost. A shadow of myself that was hardly living. No sunlight has been able to touch me while I stayed living in those shadows. Just darkness and loneliness. You and Riley, though …” He stops, looks down at the floor, and shakes his head. “You have breathed life back in with the sunshine from both of you.”
“Honey,” I try again, my emotions crawling up my throat, making me blink back tears.
“Hurting you—hurting her—that is the last thing I ever want to do, babe. There will come a time that I unintentionally may and I …” He pauses, pulls me closer, and bends his head so I can see what’s working behind his gaze. “I can’t promise you that one day I might not hurt you, but it wouldn’t be because I want to or deliberate. You’ve given me a reason to breathe again, Liv … I won’t be stupid enough to give that up when I had stopped believing I would ever have the beauty of someone like you.”
“I’m having a hard time not falling in love with you,” I blurt out, telling him honestly what was in my heart after hearing his words.
He pulls me into his chest, arms wrapped around me, and I breathe in his scent. The comfort and safety I find within his arms tells me I’m full of crap … I’m already there.
“Ditto,” he softly responds.
“Feels Like This” by Maisie Peters
Something shifted during those moments back in my office.
Something big.
Something so huge, it was as if the earth had shifted.
Even now, hours later, I can feel it.
Dinner was quick. We enjoyed an easy conversation that Riley led. We’ve been sitting on the couch watching her play in comfortable silence since cleaning up the dinner mess together. She loves being here at his place. The stark white space dances with an explosion of color with her toys scattered about. Her favorite corner of the vast room housing a makeshift bedroom for her American Girl doll might be the most colorful spot, though. Drew even went so far as going to the store and getting her a doll bed that she could keep at his place when we’re here. Not just any bed, either. He must have spent a small fortune at the American Girl store because she’s got a bed, a small dresser, and even a tiny doll-sized nightstand. When he pulled out new outfits, Riley clutched them to her chest and thanked him while happy feet danced all over the room.
She hasn’t left the corner since, setting it up to perfection before she has to go to bed. Chattering softly to her doll as she goes.
“Drew,” she calls from her spot across the room.
“Right here, little princess.”
“Do you think she will be okay sleeping out here by herself,” she questions in a serious tone. She points one small finger toward the huge windows that line his space. “It’s a really, really long way down, Drew.”
I feel his laughter silently against my side where I’ve been relaxing and reading.
“Is she not yours?” he asks strangely.
“Silly, of course she is.” Naturally, she understood him when I didn’t.
“Way I see it, she’ll be more than okay since you’re the bravest girl I know. How could she not be too? And, my girl, you love adventure, so I bet she does too.”
At that moment, I watch with rapt fascination as Riley falls a little more in love with her giant. She looks at him with her all-knowing eyes, studying his silence and mulling over his words with a quiet of her own.
“You think I’m the bravest girl?” she questions a moment later, her tone full of wonder and amazement.
“Yeah, beanie, I do.”
Her melodic giggles echo around the room, and I have to quench the urge to cry over the beauty of this moment. I love this for her, oh my how I love this.
“Thank you, giant.”
She leaps from where she’s standing and lands in his lap. He grunts and looks over at me, and for a moment, my heart hurts when I see the expression on his handsome face. He loves Riley, no doubt, but the fear that he isn’t hiding from me squeezes my heart.
He’s been hurt, and while I may not know the depths of that pain yet, I know that it had to have been really bad for it to affect him in the way it has and continues to.
His arms stay held out, but only for a beat, then he wraps them around her tiny frame and hugs her close. At that moment, I know my heart will forever belong to this man. His eyes close, his face relaxes, and he hugs my girl with so much tenderness, something he rarely gives without making sure no one is around. He’s given it to me, but this is the first moment I’ve watched him give that to her.
It’s absolutely breathtaking.
“Do you want to play with me?” she asks, leaning back and looking him in the eyes.
He grunts a sound that must have been enough for her because she looks over at me with the whole world shining in her beautiful eyes—so light-green they almost look clear full of a happiness that I haven’t seen before. Which is saying something because my girl is one happy kid.
Content to watch this play out, I settle back in my seat and watch the giant and his bean.
My book forgotten at my side.
After tucking Riley into the guest room, we head back into the living room. It’s not the first time that I’ve stayed over here. Riley and I have been here a few times a week for the past couple of months. I’m not even sure when it happened—that moment that told my heart it worked better when we were together. It could have been Riley and him, watching them bond, but I know it’s more than that.
“Tell me about your family,” I request, noticing the shutters coming down over him as soon as I finish speaking. “I don’t want to pry, but honey … I want to know you.”
He moves around the room, turning out the lights as he goes so the only thing that is shining is the city well below the windows we’re sitting next to. His home may be white and almost sterile in its vast emptiness, but when those lights go out, we sit in the sitting area that he has behind the couches and living area. It was meant to be a spot to gaze out into the world beyond his high-rise. When he settles into the chair next to mine, I expect him to remain silent, but he shocks me stupid when he pulls my arm over to his lap and takes my hand in his.