His brother’s harsh east-end accent flooded his mind with childhood memories, mostly ones he wanted to forget. He and his brother sounded as if they were from different families. Chris wore his cockney accent like a badge of honour. A shield of sorts, whereas Nick had worked hard at burying his, in the hope he could climb the corporate ladder and find a way out of his past. One of the teachers at boarding school had helped him stamp it out with rigorous elocution tutoring. He, himself had grown up in the dodgiest parts of north London and he understood what Nick was facing. By the time his teacher was done with Nick, he sounded like he’d gone to bloody Eaton. He and his brother were in two opposing worlds, joining at a messy middle point.
With shallow, furious breaths, Nick dialed another number.
“Hey, Gav, how’s it going?” he asked, as casually as he could. His heart was pounding. Could he really ask this of his best mate? Sure, Gav had bags of cash, but asking for handouts was just not Nick’s style. Until now.
“All right, mate. All right.”
“Are you sure?” Nick asked. “You don’t sound your usual self.”
“To be honest, mate, I’m just in the middle of something. I’ve lost my job at the firm. Two months before the baby’s due. I’m just calling around to see if there’s any other leads.”
“Shit, mate, that’s awful.” Shit, bugger, fuck. There was no way he could ask for a loan now.
“Yeah. I’ve got a fucking mortgage. Y’know what I mean?”
“I do. I’ll keep an ear out for any suitable jobs, mate. Phone me when you can.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. Think. Think. Think.
Dan. His boss, Dan, was the only other guy he knew of with the kind of money he needed. Of course, he would pay interest, and work his ass off to make up for it, but maybe—just maybe—a loan was a doable plan. Checking his watch, he saw he had just enough time to get home, grab his school stuff and get to the bar.
At work that night, he tried to figure out the best way to fucking finesse this shit. He didn't ask for shit, ever. It wasn't a skill he’d developed. Especially as he’d been on his own for so long.
When his boss was behind the bar at one point sifting through mail, Nick figured it was his chance. “Dan, can we talk, mate?”
“Actually yeah,” Dan said. “I wanted to get your opinion.” He looked around surreptitiously before pulling a ring box out of his pocket. “I’m about to bite the bullet. I spent half my savings, but I think Gemma is worth it.”
Nick stared down at the massive diamond in front of him. His stomach churned. He wanted to be happy for his friend, but all he could do was think about his fucking brother. “Oh, my God, mate. She’s going to love it. That thing must have set you back.”
“You’ve no idea. All this shit about clarity, cut and other nonsense.” He shook his head and shoved the ring back in his pocket. “I’m doing it tonight.” He turned his attention back to Nick. “What were you saying? I’m sorry. I was just so well chuffed, I blurted out and cut you off.”
“Oh, nothing,” Nick said, swallowing again. “It can wait. Something about holidays. I’ll come back to you about it later. This calls for a celebration. I’m off Tuesday, you game?”
“Of course. But this time, let’s take it easy on the women. I’m about to be off the market.”
Nick forced a smile. “Of course, mate. Of course.” There was only one place left which was willing to spew out notes, but it wasn’t a place Nick wanted to go to. He wasn’t this person. You got a secret money tree somewhere? Oh fuck it. This was a life or death situation. If he sat on his hands and did nothing his family was going to be torn up.
“Chelsea? Do you still have that business card from the guy in the bar?”
26
Nick was buried deep in concentration, sending a group email to let everyone know the time schedule on the Paris package. The trip was less than a week away. Right now, he used work to smother the guilt. But no matter how hard he worked, the shadow of slime seemed to follow him everywhere. He hated that geezer, Simon. Simon reminded Nick of all the boarding school assholes who’d turned their noses up at him because he wasn’t rich. You do this, you save your family. Suck it up. So suck he did.
When Selena had messaged him to confirm his place on the team he had been so psyched he’d momentarily forgotten about the tangled mess he called his family. The dark cloud above him had shifted for just a moment or two. Until he remembered the deal he’d made with the devil to save his brother.
He also tried not to look forward to being in Selena’s presence for two straight days. He had to remember his new job. To somehow feed information back to that asshole without getting caught, pay off his brother’s debt, then wind things up here and hopefully still manage to finish his dissertation in time to graduate once and for all. But shit, it was the last thing he wanted to do. He liked Selena. She was bright, and funny when she relaxed a little. Not to mention her quiet sexiness. And, ironically, he was actually enjoying the job. If he wasn’t about to royally screw this up by being a traitor, he would have happily stayed on in the company after his master’s. With a second degree, so many options would be open to him. And he could have continued working on his own project on the side. You can forget about that now.
He glanced up as he heard Selena’s office door open. She walked over to Nancy’s desk and stopped with her back to him. Nick’s eyes fell on her curved, toned ass. When she placed a hand on her hip as she chatted to Nancy, it only emphasized the swell of her curves.
Stop it, Nick. Out of bounds. Stick to flings with people you’ll never have to work with. Stick to easy. Selena wasn’t the kind of woman to be down for a quick shag in a public hallway.
Love, or complicated sex, as he preferred to label it, had never been on his agenda. Between studying and mopping up the murky waters of family crisis after family crisis, his shit was too unstable to bring someone else into it. Not that any of that stopped the offers. Women seemed to like the loner thing. And yes, he’d taken advantage of the offers on occasion. He was a bloke after all. And he liked women. All kinds of women. But for some reason, he liked them when they were especially unavailable. Like Selena. No. Even he wasn’t dumb enough to go there.
He swallowed hard as his boss shifted in her heels. She shot him a smile as she walked away. Her blue eyes burned into him for all of the one second they met his. He was so fucked. One look and he felt like he’d been zapped. He couldn’t tell if it was the guilt or his hormones. Either way, it sucked.
Also, thinking about what Selena tasted like was a recipe for disaster. But there was something about her cool aloofness that spoke to him. Can it. In a week, he’d be locked on a private jet with her. All the mile-high possibilities foolishly ran through his mind. Shit. He couldn’t do this. She didn’t deserve this. Despite what Simon said.
Maybe there’s more to her than you know. Maybe you’re being a pussy by falling for her sweetness act. Think of Chris.
He drew in a sharp breath and dragged his attention back to his phone. He had work to do and a brother to save. He sent a quick text.