“Give me a few hours and I could knock out the wall here and build a door. You could pop over whenever you wanted.”
“So you come over whenever you wanted?”
“I’m more interested in seeing you come whenever I want.”
She blushes and clears her throat, turning to try to hide her embarrassment.
I smile, watching her as she moves around the kitchen, looking so perfect to me. I don’t know what it is about the scene, but seeing her so at home taking care of Roman and playing host to me, it makes me imagine what life would be like with her, what a normal life would be like. I think I would actually enjoy it. I could get some office job or start a business, come home in the evening and Julia and I could team up to take care of Roman. We could watch the sunset together sipping drinks, settling into a routine and watching our favorite shows. We could be normal, together.
The thought gives me chills because I want it so badly. But I’m pulled in two directions. Walking away from my life would mean turning my back on my brother. It would mean leaving him to the mercy of the Bianchis, who clearly are out for our blood, even if they won’t say it to our faces. Even Carlito needs me. The two of them aren’t strong enough to have gone through what we went through these past years and come out unscathed. They’re both broken, and right now I’m the only thing managing to keep them from completely crumbling.
“I’m taking you to a movie tonight,” I say casually.
“Oh?” she asks.
The way she smiles and the way she finally seems to be getting more comfortable around me is a good sign. I just hope it’s not a lingering side-effect of the crazy sex we had. I hope she’s really starting to see she can trust me.
“What movie are we seeing?”
I shrug. “If you like scary movies, there’s one out about some mom and her possessed kid.”
She turns to stare at me. “You like scary movies?”
I don’t blush, not for anything, but I feel a little heat in my cheeks. I scratch my nose, trying to shrug off the question like it doesn’t bother me. “Yeah. So what?”
Julia plants a fist on her hip and and smiles at me from the kitchen, like she’s seeing me for the first time. “Me too. I love scary movies.”
“No shit?” I ask, catching myself at the last second and glancing to see if Roman was in earshot.
“Yeah,” she says, biting her lip. “I prefer the old stuff mostly. Freddie Krueger, The Shining, It, you know, that kind of stuff.
“You have no idea how much your taste in movies is turning me on,” I say, smirking.
Her eyes slip down my body to find my hard cock. She covers her mouth, blushing and laughing. “I think I have a decent idea.”
She brings two steaming cups of tea to the table, setting one in front of me and sitting across from me. I sip mine and try not to grimace. It tastes like dirt.
She frowns. “You don’t like it?”
“No, It’s really good. I just brushed my teeth before I came over is all.”
Roman bursts out from the bedroom wearing a t-shirt and a pair of shorts that barely come half way down his thighs. Julia covers her mouth, hiding a smile.
“You sure that was the outfit I picked for you, honey?”
He looks down at his clothes and then back to her, nodding.
“Your mom wasn’t kidding. You look at least five in that outfit. Maybe six.”
Roman’s smile splits his face. “We’re going to see a movie?” he asks.
“Don’t you have school?” I ask.
“Leo, he’s three. He doesn’t go to school and even if he did, they’re off for Thanksgiving break,” says Julia.
“Thanksgiving? Jesus. It’s already that time of year?” I feel like an idiot, realizing how out of touch I am.
“It’s in three days. You don’t have plans?”
“I’ll be fine. I can order some takeout and eat it with my brother. Don’t worry about it.”
“I don’t think so. You can come eat at my mom’s place. It’s never a very big crowd. You’ll love it. And I’m a pretty good cook.”
I look down at the dirt-tea warily, doubting very much that Julia is a good cook.
Roman smiles up at me. “Pleaseeee?”
I ruffle his hair. “Yeah, sure,” I say, feeling more than a little off-balance.
Julia seems so relieved that I promised to change that it’s making me feel guilty, considering I haven’t even begun to figure out how to do that. You don’t just get to turn in your two week’s notice in my line of work. Guys overhear things, they get asked to do less-than-legal favors, and they witness a lot of money changing hands. Bosses never like letting loose ends like that walk away. The only vague possibility I can think of is reaching out to my cousin Vince and seeing what he could do for me. If he agreed to take Angelo, Carlito, and I back under the Citrione wing, it would at least let the Bianchis know they might have some backlash if anything happened to us. I just wish Vince hadn’t steered the Citriones so far into legitimate territory. No one down here in Jersey is going to show much fear at the mention of them, but it might be the only hope I have.
Roman snaps me out of my thoughts by tugging on my leg. “Can we see Trolls?”
I give Julia a questioning look. Sounds like it’s at least something a little scary, but I doubt Julia will go for it.
“Sure,” she says.
I glare at Julia as we’re walking out of the theater. “Why didn’t you warn me?”
She grins. “Warn you about what?”
I shake my head. I can’t get all the high pitched voices and brightly colored cartoons out of my head. It’s not helping me with my vow to avoid violence. I want to hit someone, just to cleanse my palette. Still, Roman is hopping along beside us, jabbering about how much he liked the movie, so I guess it’s not all bad. I’m also just glad Julia is finally agreeing to spend time with me, and that she seems to be relaxing more and more. How is she going to react if I can’t keep my promise?
The thought sours my mood and I fish in my pocket for my phone. I have a text from Angelo.
Angelo (1:13 p.m.): Bianchis moved the meeting up. I’ll call you when it’s done.
I stop walking, staring at my phone in disbelief. Cold fingers of dread creep through my body.
“What is it? Is everything okay?” asks Julia.
I look at her and then Roman, who’s still smiling and humming a song from the movie.
“I need to take care of something.”
I can tell by the hesitance in her face that she knows it has to do with my work. “Even after we talked about this?” she asks.
“Talked about what?” asks Roman.
“It’s my brother. I have to. Go ahead and take Roman home, I’ll get a ride. I don’t have time to go by the apartment first.”
Tears brim in her eyes. “Just like that?”
I sigh in frustration. I can’t tell her I’m worried a bloodthirsty crime family is probably trying to have my kid brother killed. I can’t tell her I’m planning on going in after him, guns blazing if I have to. I especially can’t tell her what that would mean for me and her if the Bianchis have turned on me too. I have no choice but to leave her thinking I’m doing it again. I’m breaking my word and abandoning her. Shit.