He was fishing in his wallet, “I’ll pay for it.”
It was the final straw, another dig at me showing his belief that anyone who wanted him was nothing but a gold digger. I was furious. “Kiss my ass,” I said, and I stormed out the door to wait for the car service by the street.
10
Brian
As promised, Jeremy had suggested I take a part-time position as a talent coordinator and Laura was overjoyed to finally have a place to put me where I would do the most good. It also meant I was only in the office when needed, and I made sure I wasn’t needed often. Jeremy’s surly attitude was bad enough, but somehow Garret had found himself a new love interest and managed to bring the new boyfriend up more than seemed possible. At times I found myself longing for the old Garret. Lovesick Garret was too much. Coupled with the tension between Jeremy and I, it was all more than I could handle. I made myself as scarce as possible over the next two weeks. When I did have to work with Jeremy, I kept it cordial and left whenever the conversation became too personal.
I arrived early Monday morning, relieved to find Laura and I were the only ones in the office. I didn’t have much to do, and I knew I could get everything done and be out of the office within a few hours. I’d still see Jeremy, but the heavy, awkward silence between us wouldn’t stretch out the entire day.
My relief was short-lived. I was walking down the hall when she caught me, eyes narrowed, her lips tight.
“Care to tell me what’s going on with you and Jeremy?” she asked, looking over her glasses at me as if I was a child and not a few months from my fortieth birthday.
“Nothing, I’m just busy and work is for work.”
She scoffed. “You don’t think I’m falling for that, do you? I can see it in his eyes. Hell, I can see it in yours. What happened? Everything was going great and I send you on a work date then boom, it’s like your first day again.”
“It’s complicated. Let’s just say we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things.”
“I’m not playing, Brian. Jeremy is important to me. Don’t play with his heart. He’s a good guy.”
“And I’m not important?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, you are. But you have a history with men and relationships, and I know this isn’t Jeremy’s fault.”
I recoiled, playing it up for drama’s sake to hide the real pain that shot through me, but Laura wasn’t fooled.
“You’re wasting your life going after guys that aren’t good for you. The perfect man falls into your lap and you do everything in your power to mess it up. Why is that, Brian? Don’t you want to be happy?”
“Just because you think he’s perfect doesn’t mean he’s right for me.”
“Come off it, really? Like you have any idea what’s good for you. Or should we talk about Steven again?”
“Steve. He hated being called Steven.”
“Whatever you want to call him. He was a horrible mess and not worth your time. I can’t believe you can’t see that.”
I took a step back, angry that she was challenging me. “Maybe I’m not fit for a relationship.”
“Maybe you’re afraid of being happy.”
I was stunned silent, mouth agape.
“I’m sorry, Brian. I shouldn’t have said that.”
I shook my head. “No, you’re right. I’m pushing Jeremy away because I’m scared of being hurt again.”
“No one can blame you for that, honestly. After everything Steve did to you.”
I heard the front door open, and Laura flicked her eyes to a dark empty room we could slip into to continue the conversation, but I held up my hand. “I’m done with this conversation. You’re right, it’s not an excuse, but it’s also none of your business.” I lowered my voice even though I was sure whoever had come into work couldn’t hear us. “I’m not saying I’m going to quit, but I need some time to think, okay?”
She nodded. “Of course. Take as much time as you need.”
“I’m still going to work, but I’ll stay home as much as possible. You’re not the only one calling me on my shit, and I can’t avoid Jeremy when we’re both here.” I scoffed. “And that asshole Garret is enjoying this too much.”
“He’s got a new boyfriend, so he’ll be insufferable for the next few weeks, then he’ll go back to being mediocre at everything that isn’t art.”
“Great,” I said wryly. “I’ll see you later.”
I left the office through the side door, avoiding everyone and hurrying to my car. Laura’s words stung, but not as much as the truth behind them. I needed to get my mind right and figure out if I was really ready to move on. Steve had done a number on me and it wasn’t right to take it out on Jeremy.
I drove home, but everything reminded me of Jeremy and the day we’d spent together. Jeremy had been struggling for control and when I didn’t give into him, he’d been frustrated, but there’d been a hint of excitement there, too. Had Jeremy even noticed it in himself?
I couldn’t say, but the one thing I wasn’t willing to compromise on was my position in the relationship. If Jeremy insisted on being an alpha to my alpha, we were going to butt heads on everything. Maybe Jeremy wasn’t the right man for me, and the best thing I could do was to let him down gently. But I had to let myself down, too, and as much as I didn’t want to spend an entire relationship vying for dominance, I couldn’t get Jeremy off my mind.
11
Jeremy
Alex picked up the phone on the fourth ring. “Hello?”
“You sound a little winded.”
“Sorry, I was,” he trailed off, then finally said, “busy.”
“Hmm. Well, maybe I won’t bother you then. I mean, if you’re doing something for The Club.”
“You know I can’t talk about that either.”
“Fine. Then let’s talk about Brian Hattersly instead.”
There was silence. I’d walked him right into it and he hadn’t seen it coming.
“Jeremy, you know I can’t talk to you about those things.”
“Which means he is a member.”
“Damnit, Jeremy,” he muttered.
“I knew he was. Now that I know, I need you to recruit me.”
“As a consort? I thought you weren’t into that.”
“I’m not, but I have to prove something to Brian.”
“What? That you’re a pompous ass who doesn’t know when to quit?”
I shrugged even though Alex couldn’t see me. “Fair enough.”
“No, Jeremy. It’s a bad idea and I have a reputation.”
“I thought you were my friend.”
“That’s a low blow, Jeremy,” he hissed. “The Club isn’t your personal dueling ground. If you want to win Brian over, you have to do it on your own.”
“I tried. He’s gun-shy after the last guy.”
“Steve,” Alex said, then groaned. “Crap. I shouldn’t have said anything.”