“Why would he warn me about Brian then?”
“Why else but to make Brian miserable one last time when he has no control over Brian. When an abuser can’t control how someone feels about themselves anymore, they tend to focus on making everyone else doubt their victim. He played you. He took the moment when you were most vulnerable and Brian wasn’t there to defend himself to plant doubt in your mind and try to ruin Brian’s life.”
“Are you sure? I mean, there’s the contract that basically reduces me to nothing but a plaything, and there’s his attitude before I joined The Club.”
“And there’s the fact that Brian called the Monsieur today and requested to void your old contract.”
“Void it?” My heart sank. “Why?”
“Well, he decided that the contract wasn’t fair, even though you agreed to it. He wants to change it to reflect what a consort is typically given, and the Monsieur won’t let him change it without your consent.”
“He didn’t tell me.”
“Did you give him a chance?” Alex narrowed his eyes at me and my chest tightened.
“No, I didn’t. I just yelled at him and stormed out like a spoiled brat.”
“Sounds like you need a man to take you in hand more than you realized. Maybe that’s why you’ve fought so hard against giving over control.”
“I like control.”
“Then being a sub should be perfect for you. Everyone knows it’s the sub that holds the real power. You messed up, friend. You need to fix this.”
His words stung. “What about Brian? He’s been hot and cold this whole time, yanking my chain and making me work for his attention. I had to join a secret club and pledge to give submitting a try to get him to commit.”
“After dealing with the likes of Steve and everyone else before him, do you blame Brian? I don’t. You’ve got to fix this or you’re going to lose him. You might feel raw and vulnerable, but Brian has been through hell for love and every time, he ends up burned.”
“How do I fix this? How do I find out where we really stand?”
“This may be a little unorthodox, but you could try communicating like a damn adult. You know, like real couples do.”
I glared at him. “Very funny.”
Alex shrugged. “You’re the one asking silly questions. The only way to fix this is to sit down and have a real and honest talk with him. Once you have everything laid out, the rest will fall into place.”
“And what if I’m not sure I want to be a sub forever?”
“Tell him that. Relationship dynamics change over time. Talk to him, feel him out, and make sure this is what you both want. If you’re not one hundred percent sure, there’s no harm enjoying each other’s company until you reach that point. It isn’t all or nothing.”
“I just don’t want to mess this up.”
“Little late for that.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I said with a smirk.
“Anytime. Now, get out of my living room and go fix your life. There is such a thing as too much drama, and you’ve surpassed that.”
I drove around for a long time, finally ending up back at the office to feed Jaspar while I tried to figure out what I was going to do. Luckily, Steve and Garret were gone because I was angry, and Steve had played me like a finely tuned instrument. I was embarrassed that a stranger had so easily turned me against the man I loved.
Love.
The word struck me hard and left me shook. I was in love with Brian. I sat down hard, absentmindedly stroking Jaspar’s soft fur without realizing that he’d come out of the bushes to greet me without any cajoling. All the while I’d put monumental patience and effort into helping a cat get past his fears, but I hadn’t given half that consideration to Brian. They were in the same damaged state when I found them, but I’d let my own fears overwhelm my feelings for Brian.
“Not anymore,” I said out loud. Jaspar meowed back. “Why didn’t you tell me I was being such a jerk?” I asked. Jaspar tilted his head, then a grasshopper caught his eye and he bounded off to pounce on it.
“If that isn’t a metaphor for my life, I don’t know what is,” I muttered, leaving the picnic area and getting into my car.
Jaspar might not have been much help, but a plan was starting to unfold, and as the details fell into place a smile spread across my face. Brian might have plans to surprise me with a new contract, but he wasn’t the only one who could plan a surprise.
20
Brian
“I need you to come to The Club,” the Monsieur’s message said on my phone when I woke up early the next morning. No explanation. No time given, but I could tell it wasn’t a request.
My stomach sank, but I called Jeremy anyway. It went to voicemail, so I dialed again twice more, then I left a message to let him know I was on my way to The Club. He needed to be there to renegotiate the contract. If he didn’t show up, it would remain the sham of a contract that it was, and I would look like a fool in front of the Monsieur without any idea where my consort was.
With trembling hands I drove through the city until I made my way to the iconic building that served the members of The Club and fulfilled our every wish. But my greatest wish was to take back whatever I’d done or said to hurt Jeremy, and I didn’t know how to convince him that Steve was a liar and a cheat. All I could do was tell Jeremy the truth and hope that my actions spoke louder than Steve’s ugly words.
When I arrived, the valet took my car and I was scanned in at the front. The Monsieur was there when I arrived, his trademarked look of fatherly concern settled on his face. “I see you received my message,” he said.
“Yes. Thank you for seeing me,” I said as he led me into his office and offered me a seat.
“I’m not the one seeing you, though I’m sure you’ll be around later to change the contract like you asked.”
His words stunned me. “I don’t understand.”
A smile brightened the man’s stern face. “My dear man, I’m not the one who’s here to see you.”
Jeremy stepped into the Monsieur’s then, a smile on his face and a stack of papers in his hand. “I brought my copy of the contract. I don’t know what we’ll end up changing, but I think it’s time we sat down and really talked about what we both want.”
“I agree,” the Monsieur offered. “You two enjoy your weekend suite. We’ll meet Monday morning to discuss a contract that is more in line with our values here.”
“Yes, sir,” I said, tipping my head slightly.
Jeremy tugged me onto my feet. “Come on. We have a lot to talk about.”
“Did you set this up?” I asked him when we were in the elevator and he inserted the gold-colored keycard to access the suite.
“I did. I put it on your tab, though. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I’m sure the Monsieur didn’t give you another option anyway, despite what our contract says.”
“He did not.”
The elevator opened and I followed him down the hall and into a huge room with breathtaking views of the city and the river beyond. “Wow, I went all out,” I teased, stepping up behind him and pulling him into my arms. “This is perfect, and I’m sorry for everything that’s happened the past few days.”